Was Having An Absolute Shit Afternoon For No Reason But Now I'm At The Park And It's A Gorgeous Summery

happy earth day planet ilysm <3333 ✿

it's 3:28am and i am so exhausted but i literally cannot fall asleep because i am too excited to eat pizza tmrw why am i literally a rat in nyc

okay so. omg i finally did the hair curling thing i've been trying to do and it turned out pretty good! gotta work on the other side more but that'll come w time... i watched the minecraft movie today and boy. it was... something alright..................... kinda almost asked someone out today but chickened out. m kept goading me on and giving me delusions but i resisted her dw. 😌👍 i did take initiative in another way though upon returning home (see: following people on instagram- now that i've written it out it seems so small and inconsequential lol). yay. trying to pull myself together ugh why does growth hurt sm... since driving in seattle on saturday and feeling how exhilarating it is to do something you're terrified to do i'm trying to do more things that scare the crap out of me... might go to a random concert friday night? by myself? ugh idk

so you know how i was dreading the hangout on friday? well what if it goes well and he invites me to a kickback with his friends who r all very rich too and i get to be friends with a bunch of rich people in a good way and find a rich boyfriend like what if bc that sounds really fun to me

istg if i don't move out soon i'm buying a fkn vape i've tried so hard to fight it but sometimes a girl's gotta smoke a joint in the bathtub and she can't do that with her parents next door

watching superhero movies really makes you wanna write yk

sometimes you find yourself sitting on a curb in front of the dumpsters and next to the sewer, looking up at the fancy high-rises around you and wondering where the fuck it all went wrong

okay so you know how last week i had a REALLY SUCCESSFUL WORK CRUSH INTERACTION (granted i did absolutely nothing to prompt it but i do think bc i looked Very Cute (see: hair was wavy and was wearing my uo shirt with my zara slacks) and this was like the one time we were working in the same shift wc decided to take initiative? a girl can dream)

now i rarely see wc- they always schedule us opposite and so today this was like the only time im gonna interact with him until next week and dude. i fumbled so hard....... well to be accurate, i guess to fumble you have to be playing the game. but i was so blech today mainly just really tired and hella out of it and i said hi first but i said it super blechhhhh and then later i saw wc on the line and i was tryna get bread and wc was like HEY WHATS GOOD (not psychotic but very energetic) and i was like 🥹👍 and scampered off bc of chaos. also bc i think the fact that my brain defaults to "no one Reallllly wants to talk to you" and i therefore treat everyone like that i come off super chajkakaoainwnsna like i hope wc doesn't think i hate them...... it's actually quite the opposite... also bc i felt super shitty today. udsghsnakakan i hope we have a shift together this week bc i think we'd really vibe...... ugh just broccoli things i guess rip

no bc i was thinking abt this the other day when sk8r boi came on... how did i casually forget about my obsession with having a skater boyfriend when that used to be all i thought about when it came to men

just realized what i want- i want someone who will be there for me when i wake up drunk at 4:21am and refuse to watch anything but sam raimi's spider-man