A Sharp Turn

First day in a life between lives

I’m in a really great mood today! I left my house- it felt really weird to be leaving while not completely integrated into either my old or new personality yet. Going out with friends, it felt similar to how I used to feel being dragged out, but more enjoyable- and somehow, brighter?

Not much cleaning has been done today, but I’ve still got ten days to get my new life together! I should probably get some more cleaning done before I go to bed, so that’s what I’m off to do once I’m done writing this post.

One more thing I’ve done that I’m really proud of- I’ve shown my blog to one of my closest friends!! It feels so good to have told someone else about my new life/personality, and I hope that having someone know about it will keep me on track and accomplishing my dreams!! Oh hello avocado friend :))))))

I’ll post again tomorrow, or maybe sometime tonight before I sleep. For now though, I’m leaving today feeling so accomplished! 

<3 Caramel

Wishing the apocalypse started right now, ruining billions of lives and throwing the world into irreversible chaos because I'd rather hide from zombies and eat scraps than do a midterm for two hours

Calibrating

So far in the school year, things have been alright- balancing the APs I’m in has taken some time, but overall, things seem just fine.

I’m still trying to make a proper schedule for myself to follow, finding a lot of trouble when trying to actually stick to it. Maybe I just need motivation? Feels like I’m trying to get ahold of all this too late. It’s alright, though- at least I didn’t leave this until university.

My blog’s been looking pretty blank recently. In my free time, I’m thinking of adding a little gallery and maybe a music player? 

I’ll see if I can actually put something of this sort into my blog sometime soon- but no promises, especially since I’m still not sure how to manage my time TT

<3Caramel

Challenging anyone who can draw to draw these hand poses

Stress keeps ramping up no matter what I do and I'm getting really worried because I've had since pretty gross thoughts for the past monthish and they're not going away like I thought they would

Just the other day, my cousins painted my nails bc I was insecure about my hands- honestly, I don't deserve them, they're so sweet. Feels a little out of place, but it's alright. At first I was going to try to scrub them off, but it feels okay now.

Summer school honestly feels really polarizing right now, with my English class in the morning being basically free, and my afternoon math being almost four hours of nothing I understand. What's worse, my parents legitimately think something's wrong with me if I don't get an A in the more "academic" courses, like math and science. If I get a B, they might consider sending me to a shrink. Reality hit today, and I ended up silently crying in class. Sucks.

Math class consists of living off of straight copium and daydreaming about one day opening an imports store, so I'd suppose I'm not helping my case.

I'll get on it soon, I guess.

Sorry for the confusing post, I've been really stressed and remembered I haven't posted here for a while

UR SO CUTE I LOVE YOU MORE MWAH MWAH

Omg....

I picked up a green tea from the convenience store today.

Honest, I didn't even need it— I could just as easily have boiled water and made the tea myself, but at that time, I'd been out for so long that it felt pointless to return home with nothing.

Ha... It feels a little pathetic, but at least I'll wake up tomorrow a little less exhausted.

Valentine's Day - 2

There's a cute café near the arcade that's licensed to sell both Uji and Yamabuki matcha, so I took Sen there. We got a crème-brûlée flavoured mille-crepe cake and an oreo parfait to share, while Sen got his matcha and I enjoyed a warm hot chocolate.

It felt like forever since we last met up, so I couldn't be more thankful that we're seeing each other tomorrow, too. He really likes that tendon place near my house, so maybe I can treat him? Or should we could go get curry, as it's really satiating, and can also come with tempura..? I'm not sure...

They think I'm busy and enigmatic and unavailable but I just can't control myself and keep eating foods that give me digestive issues

A possible turnaround

Though it’s been a while since I’ve started my new room project, I’ve surprisingly faced no burnout so far. It seems like life’s being suspiciously nice to me, which gets me a bit on edge- but I’ll do my best to enjoy it while I can.

My parents have approved of my drawings for my room plan, thankfully. That’s a greenlight for me to continue to clean up completely motivated! And even though I can’t exactly feel it on account of some amount of emotional numbness, I do prefer the kind of energy I’m getting from this than anything I’ve felt before. It’s just a happy feeling, out of the blue, unprompted. I no longer want to do nothing, sink into the ground, or cry- I just want to continue and smile?

It feels good to make progress on accomplishing my dream! I’ve also made a custom search engine for myself earlier today- just to fit my dream as well.

Usually I’d show it to my friends, but if they ask why, “I’m trying to change my entire personality and life” doesn’t exactly sound swell from the other end. No worries though- they’ll know a completely different person by the end of this!

I’m off to clean, I’ll make another post later! 

<3 Caramel