No Battery, Works Just Fine

Time for pie

keeps coming back

i knew it. I really can’t trust myself to do the right thing I can’t believe it

i am markus how to i overthrow the american government

die

Small town syndrome in a big, big, city?

My grandma dropped something off for me to eat, she kept asking me questions about my sister. Everyone's proud of my sister- and for good reason, I guess. She always wears nice clothes, keeps all her grades in the 98s or so, and wins a ton of RG competitions.

It feels even worse eating fast food now, thinking of what I could have been. What an extraordinary family, with such a failure slapped into it. I need an escape from this life, I think.

It feels a lot like the 'small town syndrome' that people who live far from big cities and stores get, the feeling of "I need to get out of here".

Thank goodness it's spring break, though- now I have time to clean myself up from all this garbage I've surrounded myself with.

I really hope I can- I'll pack together all the motivation and energy I have left into this one project.

Uruguay = u r gay?!?!?!?

😳😳😳

A sharp turn

HOLY MOLY I’VE JUST HAD A GORGEOUS IDEA. In my brain it’s so likely to work I think it really will. I need a rational mind to bounce my ideas off of because this is a ltitle too happy for my tastes and I’m feeling manic?? Or maybe this is just regular excitement and I’m not used to it.

My dad is not being my rational mind he is fanning the flames and thinks it may be possible as well is he delusional too or could this actually work

Had to rush to annotate my music today. I was hired as a last-minute substitute for an orchestra near me, which means I only have a few weeks to practice it... Hopefully things go well!

The performance is right in the middle of my midterms, too. I suppose it's time to pray...

oof

I suppose I’ve just had the most unproductive weekend I’ve ever experienced. AP exams are closing in as well. A ton of schoolwork to do while the year closes in, a dying personal life, not mentioning the fact that I’m probably in trouble when it comes to extracurriculars. Missed some important harp stuff, so I’ll need to talk to my teacher about that.

Spilled my guts out to a friend over the past two days with little to no reaction, too, so I guess there’s that wonderful thing too. :/

Whenever I think it’s not possible to fall lower than this I end up surprising myself. Guess I should really just suck it up though. All this depressing stuff has been ruining my life and future, and I’ve done nothing to stop it.

Can’t really feel bad for myself anymore. This sucks. Maybe I am depressed, but I guess that’d be searching for excuses to inexcusable behavior. I should stop lying.

Whatever happened to determination?

Millionth time’s the charm!!

WOAH that was a weird time jump.

I’m gonna start working on myself again lol

It’s been too long and I don’t feel happy living like this so I’m going to start trying again!! Gotta work towards the life you want. Nothing comes for free, right?

I feel like I need that mindset that I see in disney movies and idol anime. Where do they get all their energy? Guess I’ll find out.

Results?!

Starting to see some changes in daily life once I decided to finally crack down and improve whatever feckless dance around life I was trying to do.

Finally getting a new bed for the first time in my life, I'm giddy with excitement since I no longer have to have a broken, splintering woodframe that catches on my hair and makes me want to cut it off. Big win!!

Time to happy clean I guess, today is good :)

<3 Caramel