Results?!

A larger image of my room plan!

no signal

I’ve done minimal work. 3 days remain until school

Got damn!!!

I wonder what will happen if I actually try to put some effort into my appearance.

Feeling so bad about myself on the regular, it shouldn’t be too much of a risk, right?

Mostly I just want to look presentable day to day

Who knows?

Cleaned up my room— it seems like everyone is enjoying it ☆☆☆

A possible turnaround

Though it’s been a while since I’ve started my new room project, I’ve surprisingly faced no burnout so far. It seems like life’s being suspiciously nice to me, which gets me a bit on edge- but I’ll do my best to enjoy it while I can.

My parents have approved of my drawings for my room plan, thankfully. That’s a greenlight for me to continue to clean up completely motivated! And even though I can’t exactly feel it on account of some amount of emotional numbness, I do prefer the kind of energy I’m getting from this than anything I’ve felt before. It’s just a happy feeling, out of the blue, unprompted. I no longer want to do nothing, sink into the ground, or cry- I just want to continue and smile?

It feels good to make progress on accomplishing my dream! I’ve also made a custom search engine for myself earlier today- just to fit my dream as well.

Usually I’d show it to my friends, but if they ask why, “I’m trying to change my entire personality and life” doesn’t exactly sound swell from the other end. No worries though- they’ll know a completely different person by the end of this!

I’m off to clean, I’ll make another post later! 

<3 Caramel

No battery, works just fine

Woke up at noon today and decided to spend whatever scraps of energy I have left trying to clean my room. It's a real mess. Hopefully, though, I can have a proper cleanout- and maybe arrange it in a way that suits my dream! Or at least, the starting dream in a line of many.

I'll make updates on my room during the few days I'll spend making it completely different- so I can look back on it and hopefully see all the hard work that was put into it!

See that, life?! I'm still burnt out, but I'm going to keep working- I'll be getting straight 98s like my sister by the end of the year, I swear!!

In the ring again

Trying to refresh again, let's see how sustainable it is like this.

God I hope it is. It's hard to live

i am markus how to i overthrow the american government

die

oof

I suppose I’ve just had the most unproductive weekend I’ve ever experienced. AP exams are closing in as well. A ton of schoolwork to do while the year closes in, a dying personal life, not mentioning the fact that I’m probably in trouble when it comes to extracurriculars. Missed some important harp stuff, so I’ll need to talk to my teacher about that.

Spilled my guts out to a friend over the past two days with little to no reaction, too, so I guess there’s that wonderful thing too. :/

Whenever I think it’s not possible to fall lower than this I end up surprising myself. Guess I should really just suck it up though. All this depressing stuff has been ruining my life and future, and I’ve done nothing to stop it.

Can’t really feel bad for myself anymore. This sucks. Maybe I am depressed, but I guess that’d be searching for excuses to inexcusable behavior. I should stop lying.

Whatever happened to determination?