WOW! A NON SOC RELATED POST!!!!

Blood test results are back. 0’s across the board, dry as a bone under the hood, they’re not sure what they’ve got in those vials but it recoils from light and lunges towards living tissue, which is all normal for girls these days.

Little Wylan themed watercolour I did. Ignore my terrible calligraphy lmao, I'm still not used to using inks

HOLY CRAP OH MY GOD OH MY GOSH

Mushroom Shen is the best Shen because he loosens up and you really get to see what an idiotic madman he is

In the short time he's a mushroom man he:

Saves some cultivators

Nearly introduces himself as Shen Qingqiu and then instead of using his actual name calls himself his dumb dick joke internet handle

Beats up a bunch of demon

Internally debates running a business with them

Gets distracted thinking about demon names being nonsense

Imagines Luo Binghe being called Big Dick Haver

Laughs himself silly and then slaps his own face

All without saying anything outloud to the demons he beat up

Asks them if they have seen anyone uncommonly sexy (meaning Luo Binghe) and then sends them on their way

Runs into Sha Hualing

Trims her nails because he remembers her tearing up Binghe's back during sex and disapproves

Rescues Liu Qingge's little sister and personal disciple from Sha Hualing

Chastises Yang Yixuan for being straight

Realises Luo Binghe is coming and hoofs it away meeting up with Liu Mingyan and Yang Yixuan again to have a meal

Listens to gossip about himself so much he forgets to be watching out for Sha Hualing

Gets very angry that people think Luo Binghe would rape him when OBVIOUSLY if Luo Binghe came on to him he'd put out because it's Luo Binghe

Leaves Liu Qingge's people and immediately gets captured again but with Luo Binghe this time

Sees Luo Binghe have emotions about the fact he looks a lot like Shen Qingqiu so cuts some cloth off of Sha Hualing's clothes and makes himself a shitty mask

Gets caught in one of Binghe's dreams and immediately blows his cover but doesn't realise and has a crisis over Binghe being gay and for him specifically

Realises that Liu Qingge is fighting Luo Binghe and even though he knows this has been happening for five years he abandons escape and goes to help Liu Qingge and ends up playing hot potato with his own corpse and lets Liu Qingge take it

Sees Luo Binghe looking sad and only doesn't say "hey it's okay I'm your Shizun" because he gets kidnapped by snake boy

Has another dream with Luo Binghe and is like "well I guess doing gay stuff is fine if it's with Luo Binghe" despite his sexuality crisis because Luo Binghe is being pathetic

Demands whores from Snake boy

Listens to the prostitutes sing a song about him fucking his disciple even as he plans his escape from Snake boy

Leaves snake boy and walks straight into Luo Binghe's trap because he literally cannot walk away from Luo Binghe effectively

Finds out Luo Binghe was acting Pathetic on purpose in the dream to trick him

Punishes Luo Binghe by telling him to go away

Gets mad when he does as asked

Wrestle/flirts when he does show up to show he's still mad but also skinship

Dies again

He's at maximum bullshit at Mushroom Boy

Younger me pulling blankets over my head when parents came in the room so I could pretend to be asleep

I do like to think that Wylan swears a lot more than he initially lets on

He's all like; oh fiddlesticks, oh dear, this isn't ideal

Like a proper British lad, but as soon as he's alone he swears so much it'll make a sailor blush.

And one night after Jesper moves in:

Jesper, sleeping

Wylan, in the other room: *stubs his toe*

Wylan, at the top of his lungs: OH YOU FU-CKING SON OF A BIT-H- F- YOU AND YOUR WHOLE F-ING FAMILY.

Based on absolutely nothing at all, these are the d&d classes I think the Crows would play.

Kaz is the DM, but I feel like he'd also play Rogue

Matthias: oathbreaker paladin- I think it fits his character

Inej: Rogue. She is very, very good at rolling NAT 20s on sneak attacks

Jesper: bard, but he spends most of the campaign rolling charisma checks to flirt with Wylan's character. Either that or a ranger, for obvious gun related reasons

Nina: A wizard who goes down the necromancy path, but she gave herself a high charisma so she can also have her character flirt with Matthias's

Wylan: with Wylan, I'm torn between Artificer, which would suit canon, or Wizard because I think he'd absolutely love casting fireball

(in the style of top gear intros)

In today's episode of: Shadow and bone

I turn into a lamp

Nikolai claims he's a privateer

And Kaz messes up his love life

Dad Kaz tries

Wylan: If you wrap the body in chicken wire before dumping it in the canal it will cause it to be shredded when it swells

The crows: 😨😰

Kaz: 🤔

The crows: 🤯🤯

Kaz: 🙂

Whoops