Gains? Please? 💪🏽😩

So proud of this! Cannot wait to share the full thing!

Here is the official trailer for our new film “XING!”

Similar but not the same.

Can You Feel Me?

In your arms, I am sure. In your letters, I am sure. In your presence, I am lost.

You are a stranger to me, and yet you say the sweetest things to me.  How can I trust you?  How can I trust a stranger who looks at me the way you do?  What is this question, burning behind my lips?  Why do my brows feel heavy when I look at you?  I wish you were  as captivated by me, as you are by them.  Is it your history, is that what it is?  Or is it that we haven’t climbed and fallen together?  Is it that we’ve not run off and created mischief together?  Do you even care about those things?  

Soul searching... I am searching for your soul.

I want to know you.  I want to know you will love me, the way I need you to love me.  Where is the fire?  Where is the passion?  Intimacy.  That’s it.  We rub and spark.  We kiss and we spark.  We touch and we spark.  We speak, but there’s nothing.  Our minds do not become interlaced with one another the way our legs do.  What is it?  How, is it?

I want to play... Be my playmate.  Please?

I am raw and hard next to you.  I look like an ax, next to you.  Where is your grit?  Dig deep into the earth and find your manhood.  Feel the strength and character grow in your hands.  Why?  Why would you, when you are decorated in the eyes of so many.  You look like privilege and sound like coins, but what is that smell?  O how you smell like struggle, and taste like secrecy.  Is that the issue?  Is it?

Over and under... Desperate to meet in the middle!

Why are we road blocked?  Why can we go no further?  Is it my familiarity in this realm and your avoidance of it?  What am I to you?  Partner?  Lover?  Mystery?  Fetish?  Entertainment?  What he fuck do you want from me?!  We are so far from each other in so many ways, how can we connect?  I will not press you.  Go, be merry and have the time of your life.  I have no desire to disrupt you. I only wish it was something we could share, but I am not so simple.  Do the pieces simply not fit?  Can they grow to fit?

In you it is easy... Out is so much harder.

Perhaps I am too big for your britches.

I pray for us.   I hope for us. I cry for me.

(4.28.16)

Sick, but took 5 minutes to do this.

20’s

I thought my 20’s would be different. I thought it would adventures with my friends, lots of nights in the arms of someone I love, and working like a dog making a name for myself in my career.

It’s not like that. I spend most of my nights alone and forgetting my value because I’m so lonely. As for the career thing, well goddamn me for thinking my path forward would be more sensical.

Tonight is just one of those nights where I’ll probably cry, listen to sad songs, burn gas driving around then come back home accepting my fate. The loneliness I feel hurts my skin, my head and my heart. Why does living feel so overrated? My thoughts feel like they’re on shuffle. I wish I wasn’t so tormented. I thought I’d found peace... I guess it’s back to the drawing board.

(11.6.17)

Teaser for my new web series!