Alovejr - ENFP | POV

Teaser for my new web series!

This is what it’s like to be loved by me.

Good Morning

I can feel you. Your skin on mine. Our hair lightly intertwined. My thighs pressing on yours. No fabric between us. The sun spilling through the blinds onto our bodies. It’s warm, just warm enough. Last night... Goddamn! We’re lucky there wasn’t a noise complaint. Between the sweating and squeezing, I’m surprised my muscles finally stopped throbbing. Your hair and your neck in my hands... your lip between my teeth, you taste so good.

Look at you, fast sleep. Your body barely moving against gravity as that gentle heart of yours beats. The heart strong enough to hold me and my epic feelings. You’re still sweet to me even when I’m at my worst. Your hair always smells like the beach, and your lips a bit salty after the first kiss. Your body still fits in mine, it’s so comforting. I’m trying not to wake you as I run my fingers over your lower back down to your ankles. I want more.

I’m watching you from the bathroom, washing the taste of sleep from my mouth so I can wake you with sweet kisses. You feel so good under me. Your knee resting on my ass, your wrists crossed on the back of my neck. Take my weight baby. You like how heavy I am... Make me grow.

Out of breath again. Your head on my chest as the clock keeps ticking. I don’t want to get up, everything else can wait. This feels right. How do we do this to each other? Never mind, I dont want to ruin the magic, promise me you’ll never stop. Your eyes, they’re shining as you look at me. Your lips twitch before you speak and it’s one of the cutest things about you. What are you going to say to me my love?

“Good morning, baby.”

(10.6.17)

GOALS

Reblog to have the same amazing year as Sandra Oh’s having for 2019

Similar but not the same.

Just Me

I need to finally accept the fact that I’m alone. I tried to open myself up to help and friendship and support & I’ve had to demand it. It did not come freely. I don’t think this is going to change. It hurts but I accept it.

I think pretty soon, I’m just going to have to diminish my contact with others. Keep it to only public scenarios like grocery stores and barbershops. Leave personal ties behind me. I wish things were different but there nothing I can do.

I wish that I didn’t have to keep changing myself to fit into this world. I’ve really come to like who I am as a person, and I thought I was bringing something good to the world. I find myself having a harder and harder time everyday. Being myself makes me only feel more lonely and like I don’t belong. I wish no one would ever know this feeling.

So much of the time I feel like I don’t matter. And I think I do, but no one else seems to think so. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to be who I want to be and also remove myself from society. So much pain. It doesn’t matter. My feelings don’t seem to matter. How can I value myself when no one else does? I’m conflicted. I’m hurt. I think I really should just leave everyone alone.

Maybe one day someone will hear me.

(11.11.17)