Reblog If You Think Werewolves Are People Too

something’s making me very sad about my crush

he’s very popular and handsome, so most people know him and most of his friends are also popular and all so you either like them or you’re a nerd (you see what i mean)

so every time i hear compliments about him, it’s like ‘you’re so handsome’, ‘you dress so well’, ‘you look so cool’, ‘your clothes look great’ and all

but as soon as you start talking about his personality, all you’ll hear is ‘he’s shallow’, ‘he doesn’t even have a personality’, ‘he only has looks’, or even ‘he’s dumb’

i don’t think i ever heard anyone making a compliment about his personality or his interests, not even his friends

whenever he makes a post on instagram, he easily gets hundreds of likes and about 100 comments in no time, everyone telling him he looks fine and he’s handsome, girls asking him to marry them, this kind of stuff

if he asks people to tell him something random in his story, everyone will tell him he looks good and he dresses well

and imma be honest, it’s true, he does look good, he’s very handsome and he dresses well; but he’s not shallow, he’s not here to just look good and shut up, he’s not superficial

the first time i heard about him was when he randomly texted me for the first time and we started talking; we had a lot of long and interesting conversations about so many things... beyond his looks you’ll find his interests if you just try to care about it.

he’s very cultured because he believes it’s important, he listens to pretty much everything, even traditional music from countries you forgot about, he enjoys learning new things, especially about our society and the way it works (here and in countries no one ever talks about), he loves music, plays guitar, he’s very funny and open-minded, he wouldn’t disrespect you, he’s very fun to be around, he likes to hang out and talk about literally anything, he’s the opposite of a fake, he’s real and you won’t feel embarrassed or out of place if you ever get to talk to him; if he knows what you’re talking about, he’ll give you his opinion and if he doesn’t, he’ll be interested and he’ll ask you about it, he definitely isn’t dumb, he’s also very talented especially when it comes to music

i wish people would just try to understand him like he’s always trying to understand how the world works; everyone loves him for his looks but no one cares about his interests, this is so unfair..

i’ve been talking to him for months and he always respected me, showed interest, helped me and supported me; he showed me kindness and a beautiful smile even after i said the most embarrassing things to him

i just hope he’s doing ok, i don’t want this to make him feel bad but he does know about people calling him shallow and superficial; i think he told me it was making him feel kinda sad because it’s not true

he deserves the world, not a bunch of fake people

i just thought i’d write about it because i noticed it quite a long time ago and i find it very unfair 

whenever i tell my friends i’m never invited to their parties, the only answer i get is ‘oh i never get invited either, you know.. there was just this one time when-’

bitch you’re the one planning the parties and you’re invited to other people’s so just be honest and tell me you don’t like me instead of being such an asshole

//posting this on instagram as i usually do would make me look like an attention whore so i'm just gonna write everything here bc i know no one's ever gonna read it - looks like i'm being overdramatic and complaining for nothing but i've been keeping this for myself for too long\\ + /!\tw: mentions of self-harm and suicide/!\

it's 12am and i've been crying for a few hours and every new thought i have, every single thing i look at makes me cry some more. i know i've been feeling down for years and even worse this year and a literal hell since i moved here alone, but the last few days have been the worst so far. i don't even know where to start, this life is just a fucking mess and i can't keep that weight on my shoulders anymore. it feels like i'm wandering alone as i've always been and whenever i hit rock bottom it somehow gets worse. whatever makes me happy one day is gonna destroy me the next one.

every time i get a call from my family or even when they visit, i tell them that everything's fine, the neighborhood is not so bad, school is really great and i'm making friends. friends, i tell them i'm good, not at my best but not at my worst either, no i don't own a cat but these little cuts are nothing to worry about and no worries because i can handle it. when really i've been walking around in this damn apartment for a week now and it made me lose it. i haven't eaten anything since last week (not a real meal at least, just some dumb stuff here and there), i cry myself to sleep every night, i listen to the same triggering songs on repeat, i go crazy and hide myself whenever someone's yelling in my street because it scares me, i lay in bed all day and night doing nothing and blankly staring at the ceiling, it makes me realize how i don't really have anyone by my side, someone that knows and that can act on it, no one to ease my pain as it's no one's role. also i've been sick for a few days now so i couldn't even get out of bed, i'm completely dehydrated from the crying and sweating because my body really shouldn't be reaching such a high temperature, my throat is burning, i'm starving but it just makes me feel very nauseous so i won't eat, and i woke up 4 times last night, i had hallucinations on the 4th time. when i finally got up i could barely walk and i found myself wondering where i was, i was feeling high and lost, i nearly fell in the hallway while being dizzy and trying to figure things out. i also noticed that no one's talked to me in days, except the few people i texted first and it certainly isn't helping me.

i usually spend most of my days daydreaming to escape reality but a week ago it changed and my mind's been busy with something else. i haven't been able to daydream since and i'm just forced to face my thoughts and the reality around me. so today after sitting and crying on my desk for a few hours, i just lost it, felt the need to yell and destroy everything, smash the furniture, burn the drawings, break every single object i own and used to enjoy. i didn't do any of this, but i wish i did. i'm usually dissociated from reality and now that i'm faced with it, it just makes no sense and it's driving me crazy. i thought about getting drunk, or taking too many pills, or cut some more, whatever. and then i burst into tears again and fell on my bed as i realized that it would take days, even weeks, before someone notices that i'm missing. they couldn't care less, everyone's busy with their own issues as it should be.

i keep telling myself that we all deal with some really fucked up shit, but i'm the weak one that just can't manage. the others are not breaking down like this, driving themselves crazy, or maybe they are but i can't see it. and i'm just a mess, i can't handle this. i hate this place, i'm scared of this creepy neighborhood, i'm failing all my classes, i'm not able to take care of myself - never been -, i've got no one to tell this to so i'm writing it on this dumb website and it's gonna be lost forever, i never had anyone by my side, i've been letting this loneliness kill me softly for years, the fact that no one's ever been interested in me confirms my thoughts about myself, whatever i bought to fill up this apartment is not me, my drawings are not art, they're just pieces of paper i covered to ask for help but it never fixed anything; just watch me give up and let go of this. it makes no sense anyway, i've only ever lived in my head but it's poisoned and i just can't keep going. i was never meant to be a part of this, nothing ever felt right - and what did just left me - and all of this just feels like i'll keep messing up again and again until the end.

i'm exhausted.

Someone had drawn a basketball court on my table in biology class today

Also yesterday there was a pumpkin on my history table

Wth is going on in this school, students don’t have anything to draw on

bear with me

i was left in this dark place

alone and scared, crying, looking for a way out, for some light somewhere

but the only light i can find is showing me the faces of the monsters that put me here, tortured me

abused me

they live within me

i’m left here again, in the dark

i tried to run away but they always come back

they always find their way back to me, i can feel them getting closer to get me

i should be running away, find an escape

an escape?

but it’s all in my head

no, no.. it can’t be

they destroyed everything here and left their demons

they won’t leave me

it’s dark, i can’t get out

an escape?

there’s no escape

please, bear with me

or else i might find my way out, out of my head

and it’ll be too late

but you’ll be safe

the demons’ll be dead

i’ll keep you safe

It’s honestly so stupid that Harry is in a relationship with Ginny like they’ve talked 2 times about shit wtf

But Draco could absolutly be Harry’s lover like he’s been annoying him for years so Harry could notice him and it’s clearly how a great Love story could start

just logged out of instagram and i told people i was feeling out of place, i'm always left behind

and i know i'm gonna receive a lot of dms like 'hey you know i'm here for you' and all and i know they mean it but i don't need fake people that show up when i tell them i'm giving up, i need real people that can see i'm just falling apart and all i need is some real and honest company, a word, a smile, a look, anything

my life’s literally falling apart

i’m giving up on everything and everyone, i’m isolating myself and barely answering the few dms i get, i spend my time avoiding my ‘friends’, my crush still ignores me in the hallways, my coping mechanisms stopped working and my autodestructive behaviors are back

the only kind thing i received in days is a text from my crush cheering me up

idk how to describe the life i’m ‘living’ but i definitely didn’t sign up for this

James: Who ate my leftovers?!

Sirius: Who ate my brother’s ass?

James, blushing: ...Okay. *Leaves quickly*

i had a nightmare (i mean i think i was daydreaming or phasing out or idk) so i was on my way to the art class but as i reached it i saw him, he was waiting for me i immediately started running in the hallway and the staircase because i knew he had seen me and he was after me i reached the office and yelled 'let me hide here, please! i'll explain everything to you afterwards but please help me!' and the woman knew me so she allowed me to stay and showed me a seat behind a wall where he wouldn't be able to see me a few seconds later he came in and asked her about me, pretending to be worried she pretended to use the computer to know where i was supposed to be and then told him that she didn't know he eventually left and i told the woman everything i was crying and i couldn't take it anymore i left the building and once i was on the parking lot i decided to run again, to get hit by a car on the road the same end as all the other nightmares where he finds me again so when he finds me for real, i already have my way out.