I Grow So Weary Of Being Alive

TODAY I'M 19.

watching movies is my top favourite thing to do.

how magical my life used to be

so beautiful and enchanted

then something happened, i grew up

and its like all of that magic faded

sunshine, rainbows, stars & moon

were so divinely mesmerising to me

then something happened, i grew up

now there's all darkness that i see

i had so many friends on those days

dolls, toys and things to play with

then something happened, i grew up

happiness is just as myth

no worries, sadness and fear of life

everything was peaceful and perfect

then something happened, i grew up

after that, pleasant forever slept

-august.

he tortures me with his gaze, i am so stupid to fall for him.

-august/fictionflaws

when i turn off the lights

I'll not run but stand there

so the ghosts can take me

and wipe away my tear

oh how i dare to be that

i should be scared instead

but that's not me

and i will rather choose be dead

when the ghost comes near

i will ask it something

are you real.?

or are you too pretending.?

"i am too heartless", I'll say

but with skin and bones

and you're void darkness

like everyone knows

yet i could feel you shivering

just as frightened as me

you and i are no different

we are tied, even when we're free

~august/fictionflaws

— v, from “excerpt from a book i will never write” (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

short story.

i am still on my teenage. i must say this is my most excruciating and painful journey i could ever think of. instead of making friends and enjoying, i am taking pills and working on myself. it doesn't feel bad to see other people having fun but sometimes my innerself blames herself for all the pain and i understand her very well.

what doesn't kill me makes me want to die.

that house next to the jungle belongs to a care-taker

people call it macabre night cause it ignites terror

there is a rumour escalated throughout the town

a woman was found dead in blood stained gown

no one was brave enough, they didn't dig her a grave

no one tried to let her soul have a peaceful death

first week and people came there just to see her

they raped the body and made sure it was just a cadaver

she was already dead, i guess her soul was agonizing

how shameless humans are, didn't hesitate to do the sin

second week, my body couldn't rest thinking of that sight

she was dead and people were acting as if it was all right.

one morning, an old man came infront of my door

he asked me water and said, "can she rest her core.?"

tears drifted from my eyes, i cried from within that day

i was brave and decided to walk on forbidden way

i paced forward with ocean and flood in my eyes

i went closer to her body, i kept my trepidation aside

i saw a shovel nearby, started to dig at the very corner.

carried her body by my hands and stood to mourn her.

i shall inhale poison rather than falling in love.