When I Turn Off The Lights

-August.

what doesn't kill me makes me want to die.

the world, so shallow for some and for remains, a beautiful home.

~august/fictionflaws

i want to fall in love, all over again.

Our Lost Love.

And I wonder, if, maybe it was another time, another world, we could be together. The love that was destroyed could bloom like those beautiful flowers of spring. I don't know why we met when we weren't destined to be together. You were like sun after the storms that slowly faded in the night. The water in desert that eventually dried. The friend that I was searching in others, I found in you. But we are gone now. We are lost inbetween the patches of the wound which was supposed to heal the scar. And still I will find you again. And again our stories will be written and we'll stand in the rain together looking at each other's eye. And finally at another time and another world we will have eachother. Our lost love will be there forever.

-august.

— v, from “excerpt from a book i will never write” (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

poetry, painting and pain.

Fall in love. Maybe it doesn't have to be with someone. Fall in love with music, art, dancing in the dark, car rides at lam, the glistening of the stars, the colors of the sun as it rises, the smell of flowers, the feeling of adrenaline that takes over your whole body and suffocates your lungs with joy, good friends who bring out your best, silence, noise, fall in love with the little things that make you feel most alive and find purpose. Fall in love with life.

– a.s.b

Life moves in seasons; we bloom, we wilt, we blossom again. Go unafraid, go fearless, go graceful. Be. Nothing is final. I smile with more ease as I grow old, I love better, I am kinder. Also there is body ache at times, there are strange illnesses sprouting within, but there is grace settling in within me. I am so grateful.

Sometimes I feel like my dreams are connected to something. I have no idea how and why. Everyday I see a new visuals. As if I am flipping the page without reading that chapter well. It is weird how I am attracted to things. All those people's perception about things doesn't bother me at all. Souls, spirits, ghosts, witches, demon, devils, angels, god, everything means same to me. Being a child, I loved to talk alone. I could always feel someone's presence around me. I used to talk addressing them soul and witch and that never made me fearful, not even once. I am not scared of these thoughts, these feelings which are considered strange by normal people. That sword I saw in my dream with something engraved on it, I couldn't forget it. I am always a new character in my dream but I've never been hurt there. I dreamt of water for few days. I was going to die in flood. Next time, I saw myself swimming like a mermaid in underwater town. Years ago I dreamt about aliean. An aliean who always looked for me and who promised to take me someday. It was so real that I didn't go outside of home for few days. And after few months I stopped seeing that dream and I am always feeling like I am not human. Two days ago, I touched fire and I could feel it. I could read what fire was trying to tell me. Even if it is subconscious and just a random thought, how could that feel so intense to me. Fire, Water and Soil is so connected to me. It feels like I am a tree whose roots are all wide spread everywhere in the universe. My beliefs are unacceptable. I feel like people take science as a weapon and war is coming soon. Science isn't helping us to evolve. Everyday thousands of life get deceased and it's not because of natural calamities, it is because of humans. This makes me question whether I am a human or not. I can read animals. I don't know if it is accurate or not however something is trying to communicate with me. It feels unreal. I feel unreal.