Tw S3lf Harm - Blog Posts

hearing your parents talk about future plans, knowing you probably won’t be here anymore

My opinions based on your sh tool

Pencil sharpener blades: We’ve all been there, the definition of desperate. May not be the sharpest but she gets the job done and will have a special place in our hearts <3

Razor blades: My absolute fave, works like a fucking charm. You’ve definitely done some experimenting trying to get them out of the razors.

Scissors: You’re either super desperate and using the only thing you can find, or you’re crazy and literally cut chunks out of your skin. I could never stomach cutting chunks so y’all are brave

Lighter: I’ve never used it, but you seem pretty chill. Definitely gets overlooked in the sh community

Hands: sometimes it’s just easiest to dig your nails into your skin until they’re decorated in those little half moons. Skin picking too, that also a fun one. Pretty easy to hide and execute, not the most painful tho

Knives: depends on the kind of knife. You could have anything from light cuts to some deep serious shit. It’s probably a pain in the ass to hide the knife tho.

Safety pins: these were my starter tool. Again, not the sharpest, but she works and isn’t really that hard to find. You’re probably just starting out with sh, and I recommend you don’t continue doing it because it can be very addictive

Glass: you’re pretty cool! It’s a pretty solid tool with good sharpness, and not too big to hide! You have a very well rounded tool and have probably been doing this for a while.

Box cutter: again, never used it, but they seem about the same sharpness as a razor blade. I’m kinda jealous of how easy they seem to hold and the leverage you can get. You seem like someone who likes the sharpness of a razor blade but is going the classy route.

I’ve definitely forgotten some so lmk what and I’ll edit it <3

If I got anything wrong I’m so so sorry

i’m not doing bad enough to deserve or need help because i’m happy sometimes and i can usually function “normally”.

but i have cuts covering my arm and i’m eating badly.

but i shouldn’t be doing those things because i should be able to cope and i’m not doing that badly.

but i clearly can’t cope if i’m resulting to these negative coping mechanisms.

but i’m not like going to kms or anything.

but i wouldn’t be complaining if i didn’t wake up tomorrow.

Trying to heal my wrist scars but I wanna cut so bad. I am way too scared it is too easy to find and my parents will see. I am on vacation and don’t have a blade so I can’t cut anyway. I think I might do thighs or hips for now on so it will be a lot easier to hide. Ugh but I know it won’t be as satisfying for me😭😭

This is my fifth day being clean and I could care less about it. Is it really worth it?

May 6th

Sour cream and onion Chips : 140 k, 19 g

Ranch Chips: 140 k, 19 g

Shamrock Shake + diet root beer: 190k , 30 g

Vanilla Premier shake x 2 : 160 k , 30 g each

Third of an ice cream bar: 75 ( estimated)

Caramel Apple candy : 25 k

Dinner: 4 steamed dumplings / 3 pieces of crab Rangoon : 510k , 60 g ( couldn’t find the exact restaurant)

Kcal: 1668/ 1379 ( may be way off)

Protein: 236/125 grams ( hit my goal without dinner)

Steps: 8,000

Sh: 2

Upper body workout : 407 burned

Walked with my nephew

Punishment : only 4 hours of sleep

How they'd comfort you after a SH episode

(thank you to anon for this request!! I know this is a sensitive subject for many so I understand the decision to skip this one ❣️ those who choose to read on, I hope you enjoy!)

⚠️⚠️⚠️ TW: SELF-HARM ⚠️⚠️⚠️

John

John is immediately panicked and uneasy at the sight of you this way

he's seen his fair share of blood, but never that of someone he loves so dearly

for once he's at a loss, no longer his usual smooth and confident self

he stumbles over his words and mumbles reassurances under his breath, hoping to provide you some sense of comfort while he gets his thoughts in order

he knows this isn't something he can joke his way around

John cleans and bandages you up, having done the same for himself countless times following the frequent fights of his youth

he gives you one of his T-shirts to borrow and settles onto the bed next to you

he shares his own thoughts and struggles with you, wanting you to feel less alone

John doesn't have much to offer in the way of coping strategies or outlets, as he isn't exactly the best at managing his own emotions

instead he rubs your back and shushes you, rambling and sharing mindless stories to take your mind off of things until you're able to drift off to sleep

Paul

Paul's doe eyes fill with tears at the sight of your fresh wounds, threatening to spill over before he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves

he mentally scolds himself, knowing he has to hold it together so as not to upset his beloved any further

he takes a gentle and nurturing approach the delicate situation at hand, slowly stepping closer to you and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder

Paul offers endless words of reassurance, telling you how beautiful you are and reminding you that you're the light of his life and the strongest person he knows

he helps you clean up if you allow him, gingerly patting your skin with a dampened cloth

he places gentle kisses on your forehead and strokes your hair, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears as he finally lets his own slip down his ruddy cheeks

when you're clean and settled into bed, Paul picks up his guitar and begins to strum

he plays you a soothing melody, hoping the soft chords and lilt of his voice will lull you to sleep so you can rest and recover

George

George approaches the situation with a calm but serious demeanor

he is deeply concerned for you, but understands your pain and doesn't want to push you to open up to him before you're ready

he soaks a washcloth in cool water and dabs it on your skin to clean you up

he'll fetch you a clean set of clothing to make sure you're comfortable and cared for

though he doesn't want to pry, a quiet voice in his head urges him to help you work through your overwhelming emotions

the man of few words suddenly finds much to say, offering wisdom from his own spiritual practices and beliefs

he emphasizes the importance of finding inner peace and grounding yourself before granting you some time to process his words

when you're ready, George walks you through a guided meditation and some mindful breathing techniques, hoping to bring you some peace of mind

Ringo

Ringo is devastated and doesn't quite understand the situation or what may have led you to do this

he wonders how the one he adores so much could ever want to cause such harm to themselves

he offers to do or bring you anything you need, desperate to remedy the situation

he rifles through the bathroom cabinet for bandages, finally coming across a small metal tin

Ringo rushes over to kneel by your side and begins to place the adhesive bandages over your wounds

being the supportive partner he is, he's so blinded by his dedication to caring for you that he doesn't seem to notice the bandages are far too small

when he gets to the fifth one you fail to stifle a laugh, amused by his determination to make them fit

his face lights up when he hears you laugh - the most melodic sound he could ever imagine

he tries to cheer you up with his usual nonsensical Ringo-isms, lightening your mood and easing your worries with talk of silly fantasies and reminders of your happiest memories together

Tw: sh

Self harm is a struggle I've been over, I tell myself.

Knifes are in my room and there's nothing off about it.

Knifes are not the reason people get hurt, someone always had to hold the knife.

A scalpel, a box cutter, I'm an artsy type of person. I like being creative.

Is it intrusive thoughts, that keep asking me to cut, or is it the child I once was, that demands I keep cutting as long as it will bleed.

Scars fade, but I can still see them.

Is that a reason to cut again, to renew old wounds.

I didn't stop because it hurt, I didn't stop because I got help, I stopped because of shame.

Why shame, why not something sweeter. Why not the caring touch of my mother?

I've never talked about it to anyone, why would I.

There's nothing to talk about. I don't have a self harm problem.

I'm over that.

TW: Selfharm

Just one cut. Only one tiny simple cut. That's how it starts, one cut.

It starts with one at a time, "I can always just stop". Then it's more and more, you stop wearing short sleeved tops. Your whole arm is covered in cuts and blood, dried and fresh.

Your arm is one giant scar and suddenly you can't stop, suddenly you're addicted. You always wear long shirts, hoodies or pullovers. You tell the others it's just because you're cold.

You get cold easily. They don't even notice that you flinch when anyone touches your arm. They don't know, they can't.

You pray that noone will ever know, how disappointing that would be to everyone. But at the same time you need someone to find out, intervene. You realize that it is wrong and harmful, an addition yet you also can't seem to stop. You can't stop, you keep going. Hoping for someone, anyone to take notice and do something.

You're clean. You've been for some...months, maybe a year or two. You don't exactly remember. No one was there to celebrate milestones, so you forgot. They couldn't have been there, you never told them.

You're clean, but ever time you feel so lost like you're stuck in a void...you want to cut again. You can't help it, it's the addiction speaking. You will never be able to live like "normal" people.

For a while you hide your arm but as time goes by the scars fade. At first you're mortified, they shouldn't fade that would mean that they were never deep enough to be real. But they were real, you bled and your arm is now covered in healed cuts, scars.

By now you only look at your arm sometimes. Noone else can see them, the scars but you. You can still see the distinct lines of where you cut.

You tell yourself "just one cut". One cut couldn't hurt, right? But instead of giving in you start to do other things. You draw, sometimes crochet or write. No more cuts, no more.