I Like To Hate Myself Because I Really Hate Myself

my problem is that I don't know where to start!!!!

O LORD TEACH PHYSICS

I Wanted To Reblog Posts but unfortunately I only allow me to do such if my blog looks throughly organized and "me" at my core am truly disorganized. The monotony of a page with only short, irrelevant posts on my blog is for now a source of comfort

Sometimes I am twelve again

Flagellum...

>be "me"

>post picture of the being "my" thoughts are intrinsically attached to since birth

>"this is My "me" and myself"

>"why aren't they both 'you"? Why is yourself something separated from the source of your perception of the world"

>"I don't like myself."

I've always had this feeling deep inside me that the world, despite being a somewhat dangerous yet beautiful and almost fantastic place, doesn't have a place for me at all- I wasn't made for it and It doesn't have any business cattering to me. My existence here was a mere mistake, naturally ocurring, and will be solved one day or another. And doesn't matter how much time passes and how much I find beauty in life it wasn't ever made for my enjoyement. I am not meant to stick around, nor meant to stick with someone or to a purpose. There is no place I belong to. I never felt like I could stay. I only feel like I have to go.

A lot of people are way less complicit in their own suffering than I am. I am more of an enabler than a victim or survivor. I don't think it is impossible to abandonm this position, if I say so impersonally

Waaa I don't want my days centered around me hating myself...... I have chores to do...

^_^