EPIC THE THUNDER SAGA IS COMING OUT ON JULY FOURTH!!!

YES. It feels like so many people entirely miss the point of Dead Apple, saying "it's not that important but Dazai and Chuuya." Like, the entire point of the movie is the fact that the whole time, Atsushi doesn't want to kill anyone. He doesn't understand why they'd have to resolve to killing, and more importantly, his power wouldn't come back to him because he hasn't truly accepted it. And then, he learns that he did kill, as a matter of fact. He killed because of the power of the tiger. He killed because he wanted to survive, something which has always been a main point of Atsushi's character. And only after that does he become ok with his power and what it did for him, and only after that is he ok with killing Shibusawa. But noooooo, the entire movie is just about that one scene.

Half the fandom overlooking Atsushis lore for that one skk scene

(Atsushi lore repost because I know how to tag now)

Me, in real life: I really hope I didn't say anything to offend them I mean I don't think I did but maybe when they looked away they were hurt god I hope I didn't make them feel the least particle of sadness.

Me, as a writer: Is this emotionally damaging enough? I really hope I can completely and utterly wreck this random person, make them ugly sob into their pillow, absolutely ruin their day in as little words as possible.

Been a bit busy recently, but for those who want it, here's part two of the concept I had mentioned about the sskk interview. | Part One. It also ended up around 1.8k, so it's under the cut. Enjoy! Perhaps I'll do a part three if anyone wants it.

The next few days were much of the same for Atsushi. He'd come to work, be dragged off by Kunikida who would hand him a paper with all the questions they were going to ask and made him memorize each answer. Then eventually Dazai would arrive (a few hours late, as usual), and after sitting through Kunikida's lecture on tardiness and the importance of punctuality, and after Dazai would make a few comments that would only infuriate the detective more, his mentor would work on having him not sound like a cold machine when he spoke. Because apparently, he did not do well with memorization.

The training wouldn't have been so bad, really, if not for the fact that Kunikida and Dazai seemed to disagree about everything. Kunikida wanted him to appear formal as a true representative of the Agency, while Dazai thought he'd appeal to the audience more if he came across as some sort of Idol—relaxed manner, permanent smile, the works. Unfortunately, Atsushi was too nervous to truly do either, and every time he tried to implement one of his superior's advice and whenever he thought he might actually be starting to do a good job, the other would completely admonish him and tell him to the opposite.

And if Atsushi had to endure this for one more day, he may not have enough sanity left to even do the interview in the first place.

But somehow, by some miracle, he was actually improving. He had managed to find some sort of middle ground between the two philosophies—professional, but friendly enough to appear easygoing and relatable as he calmly told the interviewer (Kyouka, who had been roped into this) about his experience on the Moby Dick and defeating the American before the city was destroyed (the amended version that was arranged and agreed upon with the Port Mafia)

Of course, he couldn't help but feel he might lose all his progress when in front of an actual camera, but one problem at a time.

And speaking of problems...

It was time for his practices with Akutagawa.

With luck, the mafioso would kill him, and he could get out of doing the interview.

"C'mon, it'll be fine," Dazai assured him with a lazy grin. The two were on their way to the practice, which unfortunately had to be in Mafia territory. Atsushi protested against this, numerous times in fact, but it was beginning to dawn on him that no one actually had any consideration for what he wanted in this instance. Dazai had explained that their premises would be much more accommodating to the task, and there wasn't much else to say on the matter. Even Kunikida had voiced a mild objection, but being as there was some tentative form of truce, and that the organizations were attempting to work together for their mutual benefits, there wasn't any choice.

When they arrived at the agreed upon tower—the southern one, if Atsushi was correct, they were greeted by two grunts who escorted them to the fifteenth floor, where there was apparently an open space available for this. Dazai even chatted with one of them on the way up, casually asking about his wife and kids, and the man, for the most part, just seemed confused but answered honestly.

For some reason, it hadn't occurred to him that there would be someone else helping Akutagawa until they were led into a large, open area with a small stage setup, and aside from Akutagawa standing off to the side, there was a short mafioso with a black hat sitting cross-legged on a folding chair, his face scowling in irritation the moment he spotted Dazai. For what it's worth, the brunet's face twisted in revulsion when he spotted the man as well.

"Really?!" The ginger practically spat, standing up so quickly the chair knocked into the ground. "Of everyone who it could be, it had to be you?! Couldn't they get a literal trash can to do the job instead?! Not much of a difference, but at least one knows how to shut up."

Atsushi blinked at the harsh words aimed at his mentor. Dazai, however, merely upturned his nose like some kind of critic whose opinion was actually warranted.

"And they should have hired a hatrack to do yours—at least it has more uses than you. And how exactly do you expect to make Akutagawa camera ready when the only thing you would accomplish by appearing in public is to go from the Wanted list to Unwanted."

"Dazai..." Atsushi tried, ever the peacemaker.

"And all you're accomplishing is contaminating your student with your filth," Chuuya retorted. "You'll make the whole country reek of Mackerel."

"I take it back. Perhaps they should have gone with a dog—at least they're more loveable than you."

Chuuya scrunched up his nose. "You hate dogs."

"Exactly."

There was a pause before the executive's eyes widened, and he suddenly glowed red. "You bastard! I oughta punch you right in the—"

"Uh uh uh." Suddenly, Atsushi found himself being yanked in front of Dazai, to be used as a human shield. "You wouldn't want to mess up our one of our stars' faces, would you?" taunted his mentor with a maliciously sweet grin.

"I think you could," commented Akutagawa.

"Nobody asked you!" Atsushi snapped back.

Chuuya glanced between student and mentor and sighed exaggeratingly, dragging a gloved hand across his face. "Whatever, we've wasted enough time."

Since Atsushi apparently came across as very yankable, Chuuya suddenly reached out and grabbed Atsushi's arm, dragging him away from Dazai and towards Akutagawa.

"Uhm, Chuuya?" Atsushi began timidly. He tried to tug his arm out of the mafioso's grasp. It didn't work.

"Shut up," spat the executive, and Atsushi decided to do that. Not because he was scared of Chuuya who could crush him in an instant, but because it seemed like a very smart idea. Because Chuuya could crush him in an instant.

Akutagawa's eyes widened suddenly as his superior approached him, grabbed him with his free arm, and commenced dragging the two of them over to the stage while the Future Stars­™ stumbled along behind him. Atsushi caught Akutagawa's gaze. The latter rolled his eyes at him. The former stuck out his tongue in retaliation.

Chuuya marched onto the stage with them in tow, shoved Akutagawa into a chair that had been set up on the left, and then Atsushi into the other one a few feet to the right.

"Alright," he said, crossing his arms and staring down at the two of them like one might stare at five year olds who have been misbehaving. "We're starting. Now. I don't wanna hear any fighting between you two, got it?"

"Understood sir, sir, yes sir," Atsushi stammered under the piercing gaze. Akutagawa, who was likely more used to this treatment from the ginger, merely nodded, although he didn't appear all too happy about it.

"He's right, boys, you have to play nice." Dazai strolled onto the stage leisurely with his hands behind his back and and a grin. "Think we can keep the bickering to a minimum?"

"You guys are fighting more than we are," Atsushi pointed out dryly. Akutagawa made a sound akin to a stifled snort. Chuuya's eye twitched. Dazai's lips twitched. Neither man made any effort to deny it.

"Let's just try to get through this, can we do that?" Chuuya asked. He sounded really tired.

"Fine by me," Atsushi replied.

Akutagawa nodded. "There should be no problems as long as the Weretiger doesn't mess this up."

"Excuse me?" Atsushi exclaimed, turning to the man. "You think I'm going to mess this up?! Who came to kill who, remind me—"

"Yes, and I almost didn't have to, because you were ten seconds away from becoming a cripple. If I hadn't been there, you would have allowed the whole city to go up in flames."

"Well, you—"

"Enough!" Chuuya flicked Atsushi between the eyes, hard enough for his entire chair to fall backwards and send the boy sprawling to the floor. He then walked over to Akutagawa, who merely sighed in resignation as he too was sent to the floor.

"Next time either of you say anything that isn't rehearsed, I'm gonna kick each of your butts so hard, you're gonna do the interview and the rest of your lives standing, you got that?!" Chuuya growled as he glared down at the black and white heaps on the floor. Akutagawa had managed to land somewhat gracefully while said butt of Atsushi was sticking up in the air. At the threat, he quickly reigned it in and sat up rigidly.

"I didn't hear a response," said Chuuya, glowing red.

"Yes!"

"Understood." Accompanied by two coughs.

"Now now, Chuuya," Dazai laughed. He placed a hand on the ginger's shoulder, dispelling the red glow that surrounded him. "You shouldn't be so stressed all the time; at this rate, you really will get a bald patch before you're twenty-five."

Chuuya scowled and wheeled on the man. "Yeah, well at least someone's putting in any effort into this interview. They're your students that you grabbed off the streets, why don't you act like a responsible teacher for once?!"

"But that's no funnn," Dazai whined. "It's way more entertaining to watch this instead."

"Wait, how'd you know Dazai found me on the streets?" Atsushi asked.

Chuuya made a face. "Lucky guess."

"I pulled you from the streets, remember?" Dazai draped his arm over Chuuya and brought him close with a light grin. "I remember, you reeked the first time I met you—"

Dazai was on in his back in the space of a single blink. The stage beneath him was slightly cracked. Chuuya's fists were clenched.

"I'll have you know that I was perfectly clean, thank you very much!" he stated loudly, "unlike a certain slimy fish I could mention whose hair was a rats' nest and whose personal hygiene rivalled that of a monkey's."

Dazai looked up at him from the floor with a twinkle in his eye. "It's funny you say that when, last I checked, you were the one hanging around farm animals—"

Chuuya pounced on him before Dazai could even finish, slapping him and shouting while Dazai merely cackled wrestled back surprisingly well, throwing in a jab or two to keep it going. Chuuya eventually got the upper hand though, and he managed to strangle Dazai hard enough for the man to pass out, all while maintaining a blissful expression.

Two pairs of eyes followed the executive as he calmly rose from the ground and brushed off his vest like nothing happened. "Now that one nuisance has been taken care of, let's get on with it."

Atsushi glanced over at Akutagawa, who didn't seem perturbed in the least. Atsushi sighed.

And so, practice began.

What if skk got caught in a bank holdup

A random idea/fanfiction by me.

Inspired by: the shower (truly, it's a magical place)

Because like, imagine, will you, that Dazai goes to the bank on his day off after payday, possibly looking to get some new bandages, and who should he come across but Chuuya, who is there to take out some money from a totally legitimate Port Mafia account. They'd probably bicker for a minute, Dazai would find at least three ways to insult the mafioso, who would then shout back at him, only to have everyone else in the bank shoot them strange looks, so he then resorts to whisper shouting. Until suddenly, the doors burst open, and in rushes five men with guns blazing, their faces obscured by masks. "This is a hold up!" they declare. Three of them usher all the bankgoers to one wall, forcing them to sit down quietly. And of course, if any of them try to call the police, they'd really get it. The other two deal with the clerks, getting them to open the vault, and no one gets hurt.

Meanwhile, Dazai and Chuuya are watching this play out with mild amusement. After one of them sticks a gun in Dazai's face and tells them to move it, they share a shrug and walk to the wall, plopping down criss-cross applesauce. The patrons are shaking. Some of them are crying, some are praying. Dazai folds his arms behind his head and leans back against the wall, suppressing the urge to yawn. Chuuya takes the opportunity to munch on a granola bar and observe the robbery with vague interest.

With his eyes closed, Dazai asks... "so...are you going to stop them, or...?"

"Nah," Chuuya answers between bites. "I haven't eaten much all day, so..." He turns to Dazai. "What about you? Aren't you the detective here?"

"Yeah, but it's my day off now. I don't want to work."

"Yeah, yeah, definitely know the feeling."

"Hey, you two!" shouts one of the thieves watching the hostages. "Be quiet!"

"Sorry." Neither of them sound particularly apologetic. They sit for a few more minutes. Dazai yawns and stretches. Chuuya finishes his granola bar. Nothing changes.

"What's taking them so long?" Chuuya mutters. He's starting to get annoyed. "Some of us have things to do, you know."

"This is actually really pathetic," comments Dazai. "We could have gotten double the money and been halfway back to the base by now, gone before the police even knew there was a threat."

"And we'd never do it like this," agrees the mafioso. "This is too loud, and it's got no class."

"Right? It's like begging for the police to come. And besides, this whole hostage situation is thin as paper. If they really wanted to intimidate people, they should have shot someone by now, prove they're serious."

"Those guns probably aren't even loaded."

"Honestly, this whole set up is awful. Truly amateurish."

"This whole thing would be much smoother if we did it. Maybe we should help them, just so they can get their money and leave the rest of us alone."

"That-"

"Hey!" shouts the same guard again. He points at Dazai, then at Chuuya. "What did I say about talking?! If you don't shut up-"

"No, you're doing it wrong," Dazai informs him.

"I...what?"

"If you really wanted to intimidate us, you should have fired off a warning shot, at the very least. Even if you're too coward to actually shoot a person, at least don't make it so obvious the thing's not even loaded."

Beads of sweat drip down the thief's face. "Huh?"

"And could you tell your friends there to hurry up?" adds Chuuya. "They're going to be caught at this rate. Obviously, the clerks are stalling. They're probably sticking in the lowest bills they have to give the bags some weight. It would be way more efficient to have one guy guarding the clerks and two of you doing it yourself."

"Just figure out the accounts with the most in them and take from there," Dazai suggests, standing up. "You'll get more and faster like that."

Chuuya rises as well. Now, the other two thieves who were supposed to be guarding the hostages come to back up their friend, pointing their guns directly at their heads. Dazai frowns.

"Hold on a second, can I see that? Thanks." He reaches out and grabs the nearest thief's gun, and before he even has a chance to protest, he opens up the magazine and shakes it.

"See? Empty. Would it really have been so hard to even find one bullet to put in there?"

From behind their masks, the burglars begin to panic. The public, now aware they're being held up by nothing, stand up angrily.

"And look!" Chuuya strides over behind the counter, where the clerks are supposed to be filling up bags with money. He takes one out of a male's clerk's hand and dumps it out on the floor. "All 1,000 yen bills. If you had just paid more attention, you could have made off with much more. And, now the police are coming."

Indeed, the sound of wailing sirens gets louder and louder. The thieves glance at each other. With a single nod, they turn on their heels and run.

"Not so fast!" All of the former hostages block the door. The thieves freeze, turning to Dazai fearfully. He shrugs.

"That's what happens when you don't back-up your claims. This is due to your own stupidity."

The public manages to easily restrain the thieves until the police arrive to take them away. As they're being dragged out, Dazai and Chuuya merely watch with their arms folded, shaking their heads and muttering to themselves.

"Disgraceful."

"What a sloppy job."

"Embarrassment to all criminals, really."

"Can't believe I had my time wasted with this crud."

"Hopefully, they'll do better next time."

"Yeah. If you're going to hold up a bank, at least do it well."

After the thieves are taken away, the police ask Dazai and Chuuya about what happened, since everyone says that they're the ones who stopped them. They answer with vague statements that amount to nothing, and leave the bank before they have to get more involved.

Neither of them speak much, each caught up in his own memories from the past. Eventually, Dazai decides to head back to his apartment, though not without giving one good jarb on Chuuya's height. In the end of the day, he supposed he did stop them. Well, as long as it didn't have to count as work-

The next day, both Chuuya and Dazai were required to make a report on the matter.

End.

Ok, I'm convinced at this point that instead of teaching English, schools should just start getting their students into bsd, because honestly, the effects are about the same.

Like, what is this fandom??? As far as anime go, it's sort of known, but it's not even close to mainstream, and then you join the fandom to discover that it's actually huge.

-The fans will write five thousand word analyses, complete with textual evidence, about anything and everything, and they'll all be more well written and deeper than their thematic essay for English class.

-They won't even think twice about reading a bunch of classics to understand their favorite characters, and then they'll happily write you an analysis of a Japanese classic written in the mid-twentieth century and how it connects to their favorite character. They'll casually read Crime and Punishment, a book english teachers have no hope of having their students read in general, let alone for fun, and they'll do it and then give their theories about how it may connect to the villain's powers. They also end up just getting into classic literature in general.

-Ask them to give a summary of the book they had to read, they'll stare at you blankly, but ask them about the chain of abuse vs the savoir chain and you will hear a psychological breakdown on the concept of abuse, and how different characters treat others differently because etc etc etc.

-Not even the top criminal defense lawyer could compete with a bungou stray dogs fan explaining why Chuuya Nakahara, a man who is an executive in the Mafia, a man who has killed many people, has gotten involved in smuggling and all sorts of illegal activities, is actually a good person and deserves all the sunlight and happiness in the world.

-And the art that comes out of it??? The fanfictions, the fanart, the edits- I've read fanfiction that made me feel more than a published book ever will. Seen fanart that belongs in a museum, and the edits are some of the coolest stuff known to man.

-And they're just so low key??? Like seriously, don't teach English, teach bungou stray dogs. You'd get better results that way.

I like to think that, the first time Dazai met Chuuya, he made fun of Chuuya's height without realizing from his position on the ground that he was only five centimeters taller. And when he did find out, he went "ah. well, in too deep to stop now, ima just go with it" and kept up the short jokes, despite the fact that they were practically the exact. same. height.

Thinking back to that interview with Asagiri a bit ago, where he mentioned how Chuuya slowly overtook Kunikida as Dazai's partner since he became so popular, and it got me thinking. Because while I love skk as much as the next person, Chuuya on his own is such an interesting character that I don't think his interactions need to be solely limited to Dazai. One thing I love about Stormbringer is how many new, different characters we got to see Chuuya interact with, apart from just Dazai. I don't want to see him replace Kunikida, I want to see him interact with Kunikida (not just that one scene). I want to see him team up with other members of the Agency, like Atsushi, or Kenji. I want to see him with Akutagawa, since despite how much people assume things about their relationship, we've only ever seen them interact with each other in one freaking scene. And it wasn't even the manga, it was the movie (there are the drama cds, of course, but those are questionably canon). It's possible for anime onlys, there may not be as much to his character outside of Dazai, but as someone whose read the lns, I just feel like his character is interesting enough on his own, and I hate that he's always reduced to being one half of skk, as opposed to Dazai, who is seen as more than that. Basically what I'm saying is, let Chuuya interact with the rest of the cast! Screw Dazai! (with love)

Look. I'm sure Dazai acts like the most annoying person alive to everyone he works with so they'll push him away and hate him, but he also flat out admitted to Sigma that he just likes doing strange and annoying things to get a rise out of people. It's not that it's a dysfunctional defense mechanism, it's because he has a dysfunctional personality.

Luke Braveheart from Zenshu

Ok so we all just know Chuuya went to see Wicked in theaters and decided to make Defying Gravity his theme song.

He's battling an enemy, and he suddenly disappears. Next thing you know, there's a disembodied voice-

"Something has changed within me..."

The enemy turns around, but he can't find him.

"Something is not the same..."

And this keeps going until Chuuya signals for one of his subordinates to hit the light so the enemy can see him standing on the ceiling as he belts:

"I THINK I'LL TRY DEFYING GRAVITYYYYY"

He's still singing it on the car ride home.