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Atsushi Nakajima - Blog Posts
» BETWEEN (05/02) — capa doada » categoria: Bungou Stray Dogs » personagens: Akutagawa & Atsushi
meimei's note: faz muito tempo que não edito com tons de cinza e preto, muito tempo mesmo! eu nem me lembro da capa e se eu fiz uma sequer ano passado então pensei com meus dois neurônios: e se... BOW!!! tive uma ideia (!) eu amo fazer capas mais tristes para esses dois, tenho um carinho enorme pelo ship e meu deus, que saudade do anime (nem lembro que temporada eu parei de assistir e ta tudo uma bosta) mas enfim, essa capa é bem clean, ela só demorou pois eu sou teimoso e queria um render deles que inventei na minha cabeça (spoiler: não existe) e é isso
» A DISTÂNCIA ENTRE NÓS — capa doada
⟅30.07.2024 — imaginem o seguinte: eu sem internet, sem disposição, sem nada (!) indo fazer uma capa que não dava nada por ela e eu acabar de finalizar, e ficar sem entender COMO QUE ELA FICOU TÃO LINDA ASSIM!? Mas vamos por partes, eu sou apaixonado por papel, principalmente papel meio vintage sabe? (Não me julgue) e eu tinha algumas ideias do que queria com base na ideia de algo mais antigo, no estilo mais cult (?) porém, eu queria colocar azul e isso foi o que mais me dificultou na hora de finalizar a capa. No fim das contas, a capa ficou um amor e mais linda com meus bebês queridos de bsd (vou até rever o anime)
» I MISS MY LOVER — capa doada
⟅28.07.2024 — eu sei que parece que esse pensamento é muito adiantado PORÉM eu tenho algo a dizer: eu fiz muita capa fofa e LINDA ESSE MÊS (!)¹ isso não é meu normal, se você é meu amigo, ta na hora de você vir me perguntar se ta tudo bem (!)² essa capa foi minha segunda favorita de fazer esse mês, estou praticando colocar mais pngs e implementar mais detalhes, talvez isso esteja dando resultado e eu estou muy happy happy happy :) bom, eu já queria fazer uma capa de bsd porém não tinha ideia do que seria a capa e isso acabou me deixando inseguro com que tema abordar com o fandom CONTUDO, acabei achando um possível spoiler e eu fiquei tão :') que decidi que iria capar com o que eu achei desse spoiler em específico. Faz 80 anos que não leio o mangá, nem lembro em que cap eu terminei mas depois dessa coisa linda que fiz, vou retornar a minha casita <3
Créditos para esse PSD que salvou minha vida e que vou até usar mais vezes :3
I recently discovered that if you initially draw a picture in a sketchbook, and then finish it from a computer, it turns out quite well.
ATSUSHI ANGST!! #2
(Uyarılar: Yeme bozukluğu, kendine zarar verme, shin soukoku, soukoku,Dazai)
Atsushi: "Aha- Sadece soğuk algınlığı. Ayrıca kedi değil kaplanım!"
ATSUSHI POV:
Dazai-san anlamış gibi.. Umarım anlamamışdır.. Siparişleri verdik, yerken Yetimhane Müdürünün seslerini duydum "Bu yemeği haketmiyorsun! İşe yaramaz." Kafamda yankılanıyordu.
Atsushi: "2 dakikaya gelirim"
Hemen tuvalete doğru koştum.
⚠️ (Başlıyor)
Klozetin başına durdum ve ellerimi boğazıma götürdüm, zorla da olsa yediğim herşeyi kusmuştum. Elimi ve ağzımı yıkandıktan sonra aceleye diğerlerinin yanına gittim.
⚠️ (Bitti)
Herkesin yemeği bitirdiğini gördüm. O kadar uzun mu sürmüştü? Boş verdim. Soru sorulmasın diye aklıma gelen ilk şeyi söyledim.
Atsushi: "Dazai-san, görev dosyasını alabilir miyiz? "
Dazai: "Akutagawa'ya verdim bile~!"
Atsushi: "Tamam o zaman!"
Akutagawa: "Artık gitsek mi?"
Atsushi: "Evet, oldukça geç oldu. Bence biz yavaştan gidelim"
Akutagawa onayladıktan sonra, kaldığımız yere doğru yürümeye başladık.
(Ehe, aklıma geldikçe yeni bölüm atcam:3)
If you take requests, can I have Atsushi being comforted by the reader when hes crying because they saw him as a weretiger? Please?
Request?: yes Summery: The reader runs after Atsushi, as he lost control of his tiger form, getting hurt in the progress. Character?: Atsushi nakajima Genre: Angst to fluff
A/n: hi hi! Thank you so much for your request, it was different than most of them and I'm glad I made it! Please feel free to request more for it to be written in the near future. For now enjoy the fanfic! <3
All you could think about is ‘Run as fast as you can’.
You ran through the screaming crowd, trying to reach the one you love with all your heart. Atsushi and you have been assigned with a mission, it wasn’t a difficult mission at all, but someone had did their research on the agency and their members, and all it took was a little bit of information about Atsushi’s past to get him out of control.
He had fully turned into the were tiger without ever meaning to do so
“ATSUSHI!” You screamed for him, as you used your combat skills to get onto objects like trash cans, bus stations or even cars. You needed to calm him down before anything would happen to him.
You jumped over the cars, seeing him in the distance as you received a call from none other than kunikida.
“Y/N WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING OVER THERE?” You heard him scream, as you realised this is all being broadcasted, looking up as you saw the news helicopter fly above the two of you. ‘Shit.’ You muttered, as you speed up.
“Someone got sensitive information kunikida, He went out of control and almost killed the guy have they not gotten away since I stopped Atsushi.” You explained, your legs aching while you still speed up after Atsushi, hearing more screaming people of fright.
“SECURE THE AREA FOR ME OKAY THANKS BYE-“ You rushed the call before you heard kunikida scream on the other side.
You ran as fast as your legs could, as your eyes widen, seeing Atsushi about to attack. “ATSUSHI!” You screamed as you came in between the innocent people and the tiger that was about to attack. He couldn’t stop on time, as his claw made contact with your arms, giving it a nasty scratch mark.
You screamed out in pain and held onto your arm, whimpering slightly as you saw the blood and clothes being ripped off your body.
That’s definitely going to leave a nasty scar.
“Run!” You screamed at the innocent people, as they quickly scrammed, leaving you alone with a clearly distressed tiger. “Its okay baby its okay..” You whispered softly, holding your other hand out, treating him like a cat. “Its just me, your safe Atsushi..But you have to get control again.” You put a step forward, as him bumped his nose against your hand, smelling in the scent and his pupils dilated to a normal size again, as you heard whimpers come out of his mouth.
You slowly pet him with your good hand, as you squad down.
“We have to get out of here, can I ride your back?” You asked him as he nodded gently. You hopped onto his back, leaned forward and whispered, ‘Make sure to lose the helicopter first dear”
As you guys moved like the speed of light, going directly towards the Agency.
They immediately stood their ground, as Dazai and Kunikida came to your rescue. You were bleeding quite a lot on the floor as your vision began to blur because of the amount of blood you had lost by the wound that needed treatment this instant.
You heard screaming, Dazai nullifying Atsushi’s ability, Seeing the doctors coat of Yosano flash in front of you, as you slowly fade away out of consciousness.
As everything around you became black pool of darkness.
You woke up, slightly feeling your arm being sore, as you slowly opened your eyes to adjust at the light of the room. You groaned softly, as you felt a weight at the side of your bed. You looked down, seeing a sleeping Atsushi with red puffy eyes, sleep by your side.
A sharp pain in your side snapped you back in reality, as you realised you also had been bandaged by the side of your body.
“Your lucky it wasn’t something that touched our organs.” A sudden voice spoke as you were eye to eye with Yosano herself. “A shot like that could’ve been nasty if you weren’t here on time.” She stated, something that you nodded your head in agreement on. “He’s been worried about you, He basically cried like a small baby when I told him your state and that you were okay.” Yosano chuckled as you smiled gently, stroking his hair with the hand attached to the bandaged arm.
You heard him groan slightly, as yosano took that as a cue to get out of the room.
He slowly woke up, as you smiled softly at him, your hand on his cheek as you whispered softly. “Hi baby..” You let out a small smile as he started to cry again, His arms and body flopping on top of him.
“Y/N!!” He sobbed, as you groaned slightly but rubbed his back and kissed his cheek gently. “Right here dear..right here..” You smiled gently, as you cupped his face, making him look at you. “Oh Y/n Im so sorry I shouldn’t have lost control and that was just- he just-“ He stuttered, trying to get his words in the right context.
You kissed him gently, immediately shutting him up. “Its okay its okay trust me it is okay-“ You stated, as he still kept crying. You hugged him close, as you guys slowly calmed down together.
“We’ll train some more sushi, you need the emotions and those powers of yours under control.” You teased him as he kept crying.
“Okay- I love you”
“I love you too”
so, you know the official arts of bsd characters holding their wan version?
could you write something about it? it doesn't have to be character x reader
just characters interacting with their chibi selves
Request?: Yes Summery: Characters reacting to their wan self Characters: Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Chuuya Genre: fluff, them being crackheads
A/N: Hello hello! Back again with another one, thank you so much for requesting this and I hope its to your liking! Feel free to request again, its so much fun writing about them hihi- Anyways enjoy!
Dazai Osamu:
They will be a menace together if not absolute hell.
You think kunikida could survive one? barely, but two? Oh my lord pray to the lords and especially for the soul of kunikida- 💀
Man has to fight for his life to get to live
Him and his wan would prank so many people, and now since their together, they will be searching for this beautiful to commit with
however this little wan is a living reminder of the hell he actually went through.
He does also however have someone who understands him completely, cause well, its him-
They both ramble how much they love hate Chuuya-
This crazy ball of energy, but the good kind.
Atsushi Nakajima:
Oh they would both be so sweet against each other and others-
They would, just like dazai, talk about how much they Hate love Akutagawa, but in all honesty I see them vent against each other cause they understand each other the best
Atsushi would honestly be like '🥹' when seeing wan!atsushi's tiger form
its just like a little cat he can't resist to pick him up and carry him around-
He would team up with himself, just because the president ordered him too one day and that just became a normal thing
They would hate and love each other, since they share the same mindset
Akutagawa ryunosuke:
Hates him for some reason-
I mean of course cause he doesn't really like himself but seeing his wan like this, especially how he interacts with Atsushi's? He damn jealous for sure
not in the ship way, just the way that he's jealous of the wan!aku for having such a casual life.
They would however bond by drinking like tea together-? I don't know I see aku as a tea person 😭
They both would talk about their devotion towards Dazai, and shit talk about Atsushi cause why the fuck not-
They would really be rivals against each other.
Chuuya Nakahara:
DOG MOVIES DOG MOVIES!
they would watch those sad mf dog movies together, that in all honesty are so sappy compared to the Chuuya himself
drinking contest just because I said so
I bet he has like this photo of dazai, and they take turns throwing darts at his face cause they think their hilarious as hell-
The drunk gingers will angry rant about dazai and like 50 ways to beat him up, Chuuya may or may not broken a glass-
When their with Dazai's? run for your goddamn life.
they be throwing themselves at him and not in that way you horny bastards I see you guys-
They be throwing hands fr
Takes a lot of effort to just get them off each other
Hello I have a request for BSD about them having a dead s/o and they are like a ghost who can float and do stuff ghost can and stuff if that makes sense if you can good day/night <3
Request?: Yes Summery: Characters having a dead S/O Characters: Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Akutagawa Genre: Fluff, slightly angsty (mostly Dazai's and Chuuya's part, Mentions of death (Atsushi), be warned spoilers of Storm-bringer!)
A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I had lots of fun to write this request ^^ Hope you enjoy it and I'll see you next time! <3
Dazai Osamu:
holy hell will this man make you help him with his pranks on poor kunikida-
like for real, this dude will grab u by the waist, look at you with the brightest puppy eyes and you can't help but to cave in.
He finds it so interesting you have the exact same traits as a real ghost, and for a ghost, you are the prettiest person he has ever seen.
He sometimes beg you to scare people by going through the wall and exit like you never existed (You also love to scare people its honestly very funny-
When you do it to him though, He'll dramatically scream like a little girl, making you embarrassed and him very amused (Cocky bastard-)
He does, however, when you two are alone in his apartment, Looking at you all admired as he hears all kinds of stories of people you meet.
If he told you about his past, He will slowly but surely give hints to let you know that he wants to know about Odasaku
You always smile gently while talking about Odasaku and what he told you to pass onto Dazai.
He will be very grateful to you if you ever did that.
Chuuya Nakahara:
Just like Dazai, He will be very interested into seeing you suddenly float around the mafia headquarters and see your ghostly powers in action
You tried scaring him once, did not end to well Poor boy legit broke his favourite wine glass, You had to fly away if you didn't wanna be a ghost twice-
He gently strokes your hair, even if it goes straight through, he really doesn't care at this point
Your ghost kisses always makes him chuckle
He does however, wonder about his friends, if you could see them too. He's to stubborn to ask though, but at some point, you figure it out and leave little things behind for him to find, Giving it as a signal that they are always with him and supporting his every decision
He always smile softly seeing those messages, making a mental note to Thank you for your hard work
Atsushi Nakajima:
This boy finds it so sad-
He loves you very much, but he just gets sad thinking you died cause of some stupid asshole or accident that caused your death.
He does however, always try to make you the happiest you've ever been when you were alive
You do help him out with missions, He doesn't get worried about you getting hurt since everything can go through you, so you always go first, Looking around the area if he's not in danger by any sort of threats.
At home you guys always talk about whatever you want to talk about, It sometimes leads to Atsushi Falling asleep while you gently tucks him in.
This boy has a whole lot of love in store for you
Akutagawa Ryunosuke:
Honestly, would be slightly surprised you would date him, and more surprised you would stick to him even when your dead
Little cold in the beginning, doesn't trust you too much. but slowly he warms up to you, trusting you a little bit more in life
But he definitely hates you when you scare him
His ability would've killed you by now if you weren't a ghost-
Besides that, he would ask you to check on anything that isn't suppose to happen, and you happily obey
Besides his cold Façade, you saw his sadness about you being dead, but luckily for both of you guys, You always had each other
He loves you, in his own stubborn way.
Do you have a rules page or any guidelines for requesting ?
your very free to ask whatever you want! I do have a few rules, but those are kinda the basics, just decent human being rules
Scroll all the way down at this post and you’ll see the few rules I put in :D
Thank you for asking though <33
Hiii! I have a BSD request! Its a bot dark but its related to something that Ive been working through lately. Can you do as many bsd characters as you can reacting to their S/O getting emotional on their birtgday because they "didn't think they would make it this far"? Like they struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts/SH in their childhood and honestly didn't expect to make it to the age they are now? Its almost my birthday and I've been struggling with the same thing so i wanted some fluff with my favorite characters to help me through it! :) thank you so much!
Request?: yes Summery: Characters reacting on you getting emotional during your birthday Characters?: Dazai, Atsushi, Kunikida, Yosano, Chuuya, akutugawa, Fyodor and Nikolai. Genre: Angst, but mostly fluff.
A/n: Hey hey! I hope I did this on time before your birthday where ever you are- Happy birthday! I hope your doing well and got/ are getting the help you need. If anything my dms are open just for a nice talk if you ever feel lonely, and I'm proud of you of how far you've come. My dm's are open for you and anyone else in need! Anyways I hope you enjoy this fanfic
Dazai Osamu:
Obviously this man, would want you to have the best birthday of your whole entire life.
I mean, he probs didn't have any good birthdays considering his years of the mafia and how Mori had treated him over the years.
So when he knew that your birthday was coming up, he was planning it all carefully.
He got the perfect gifts, the cake, everything was done by the day it arrived.
So when you were alone with him, as he smiled at you, saying "Happy birthday belladonna!" with such a loving tone while carrying the cake (No he didn't bake it himself please don't let him in the kitchen-) You just started to cry.
He slightly panicked, cause we all know he isn't the best when it comes to human emotions.
He carefully set down the cake on the table as he hugged you, kissing on top of your head once in a while letting you cry in his chest
He carefully asks what's wrong, as you explains about your past and what you've been struggling with.
He frowned at the thought of his lover struggling so badly in life, relating to it himself. He cupped your face, and kissed your nose gently.
"I'm glad you're here, cause my birthday girl makes me the happiest man on earth."
Cue the water works again-
Atsushi Nakajima:
Sweet baby Jesus this poor baby-
He has absolutely no idea just him waking you up with breakfast on bed would automatically result into you crying badly in bed
"I-I'M SORRY! DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG-?"
He panicking please make sure to make sure he knows its not his fault.
as you explain to him what exactly happened, with you talking about your past, he can't help but get sad himself.
He loves you dearly and he doesn't want you to feel this way ever again.
He makes sure you will have the best day of your life
"let's go out! My treat!" He smiles brightly, that stupid dorky smile you absolutely adore.
Let's just say you feel extremely loved that day
Kunikida doppo:
Watch this man have your birthdays for the upcoming 10 years planned out completely-
He is a planning maniac after all😭
That's his love language though, act of service and for his partner he would gladly do so-
So he woke you up at 7 am in the morning cause of all the activities he had planned for you
"Y/n, wake up we have to leave in 15 minutes for your birthday activities."
"doppo its like 7 in the morning please-"
But after progressing the work he all did for you, going to your favourite restaurant, having everything you ever wanted ready for you, you couldn't help but cry silently with a smile while looking at him
This dude got caught of guard by your tears
You quickly had to explain that it was because of whatever was playing in the past
He looked at you with a sad look when you were done explaining
"Those times are over now dear, You've made it this far, You did it and I'm proud of you
Yosano akiko:
This absolute queen prepared everything besides her busy schedule, bless her heart-
She took you to the cafe beneath the agency, smiling gently as she let someone from the cafe bring out the cake with a small candle on it.
"Happy birthday my love" She chirped, as she had settled the gifts for you besides her.
Cue the water work from your end-
Being a doctor and all, she also took a hobby on studying people on the daily, so seeing how you reacted, she smiled gently and pulled you in a hug, letting you cry on top of her.
You told her about your past, as she listened carefully.
"Your safe and sound now Y/n, I love you"
Chuuya Nakahara:
Money money money-
he ain't scared to spoil you rotten with love on your birthday.
He cares a lot about the people he cares about and would do everything to protect them, especially the love of his life.
he took you on top of a rooftop somewhere in the city, watching the stars as he gifted you tons of gifts
Your bright smile couldn't distract him from the tears rolling down your cheeks
He cupped your face in worry, as you explained the reason why you were crying.
His face was slightly angry, not at you, but at the people who possibly could've cost this mind set.
"don't worry princess, I'll protect you with my life, now come on lets open another present."
Akutugawa ryunosuke:
He's interesting alright-
he never really had the best life, but he really wants to make you feel loved, even if he finds it hard to express it.
You don't really mind how he is, and you know how hard he tries.
So when he was done with work, and came at your doorstep with flowers in his hands, your favourite flowers, and your favourite snacks in a basket for your birthday, You began crying of happiness.
He immediately thought he did something wrong
please tell him its not him-
You explained your past and why you began crying, and he couldn't really help but feel bad for you
He set the gifts down on the table, and kissed your forehead gently
"You're fine and alive now, and thats what matters to me, You being happy and alive.
Fyodor dostoyevsky:
This man, with dazai, confuse me and interest me all at the same time-
He would not be the best with you crying, as he hardly really shows any sorts of sadness, guilt, rage, etc etc.
he does try his best though!
His reaction to you crying cause of your birthday is just to stand there, not knowing what to do-
eventually he just lets you cry and pats your head gently as you slowly start explaining why you are crying right now
He does feel bad for you, but he just pulled you closer to him as he let you rest on top of him.
"No need to worry about those days anymore Y/n, you got through them."
Nikolai Gogol:
This man was more excited than you were over your birthday-
legit jumping next to your bed to wake you up and open his gifts
and goddamn did he get a lot for you
he had prepared anything you could dream off, as he looked at you like a puppy waiting for his reward.
what he didn't expect was you to full on cry.
he quickly turned into a Serious Nikolai and pulled you in a hug.
You explained while crying about your past and reasons and he just held you even closer.
"I'll be here for you, always and forever, till death does us part."
airing...
Hello! My Name is Sunny! And I'm gonna start writing this blog full of stories cause Im Hyper-fixated in all of these fandoms so I have to start rambling somewhere right-?
Anyways some quick things, English is not my first language, as I am bilingual, so I'm sorry for the amount of spelling or gamer mistakes I make in my posts-
The Fandoms I write for:
-Bungou stray dogs
-The marvel universe
-Genshin Impact
-Stranger things
I might add fandoms as I go into it!
Just to clear some things if you decide to request:
Absolute no weird shit, like Kid x Adult unless you request a parent figure x kid.
I am comfortable enough to write smut, so feel free to request
I write a little bit off everything, I just rather not write some angst unless I'm intrigued by the idea itself or I'm in a good mood cause all the fandoms I'm in just is full of hurt and fluff keeps me distracted from that HAHA
It might take a couple of days/weeks cause of my own life off social media, so please have patience with me! <3
Alrighty! That's It! Can't wait to write for you guys and I hope you guys enjoy my stuff <3
in my free time I like to make random edits of characters, its fun. in my head its thumbnails to breakcore videos and imma get 6 million likes. GIVE ME MORE CHARACTERS TO DO PLS
Seeing if I can feed this Fandom a bit more with an art I made for matching keychains 🫶
I offer you matching artwork for keychains I'm making of Arthur/Verlaine and Atsushi/Akutagawa 🤲
Bungou stray dogs agência de detetives, da pra saber quem é quem?
Eu realmente não faço a menor ideia
Atsushi verde pq é o único marcador que eu tenho 😍💅
Working through art block-
And Lucy phase is still going strong
So ta-da magical girl Lucy!
Me awaiting the next BSD chapter like :
pov: ur an Atsushi kinnie in a trio with an Akutagawa and Dazai kinnie, and you have to watch the exact same situation between BSD Akutagawa and Dazai play out irl
#why do akutagawa kinnies seek the love and approval of the dazai in their life so much </3
Atsushi Kinnie Callout - From an Atsushi Kinnie (Part 1)
I'm gonna be brutally honest here and projecting a lot so be warned fellow kinnies
1. You were taught that the worth of your life is determined by how much you help or benefit others
An important figure in your life (the orphanage “headmaster”) taught you that people who don’t help others with their existence do not deserve to live, and it would be better if they were dead.
The irony is, you only extend this belief to yourself, because you recognize that in extending it to others, you would be believing some other people do not deserve to live. And you recognize how cruel, terrible and wrong that is. Yet, you cannot see how cruel and terrible it is to yourself.
2. You have a huge savior complex
Since you believe the value of your life comes from how much you benefit others, you try to help people as much as you can. To others, it seems like you are a kind and selfless person, but deep down, you have two things motivating you:
• the suffocating fear of being unworthy of living if you aren't of any use to people around you
• the rush of "selfish” joy you feel when you have a great impact on someone, when you are the most important person to someone and are irreplaceable to them. Because these make you feel useful and worthy of living.
Because of these, you have the tendency to form codependent relationships, with you as the "giver". It ensures that someone always needs you, so you are always worthy of living. You may even become slightly manipulative, befriending and trying to become close to those who seem more in need of help, more isolated, more lonely.
Because they're more likely to need you, as desperately as you need to be needed.
3. You believe your kindness is fake, and that you are actually a selfish and terrible person
Because you help people out of the selfish motivation to make yourself feel better, so that you feel like you deserve to live more, you feel endlessly guilty. Because.. an actually kind person would help others, for others to be happy, not for themselves, right?
Additionally, since the belief that helping others gives you the permission to live was taught to you, you feel your kindness was a taught behavior as well. You feel that at your core, you are a selfish person who was just taught not to be, and that makes all the selfless actions you’ve done worthless. Maybe you approach caring for others in a calculating way: memorize their interests, check up on them, listen to them; these will make people happy.
4. Guilt is your primary emotion
Guilt for your existence, for your mistakes, for failing to help people, is the biggest driver of your emotions. Guilt controls your life, and it is an exhausting emotion to live with.
5. You care more about what’s inside than outside
You’re not concerned about other people or your appearances, reputations or social status, because how people treat others around them and their hearts is much more important to you.
6. You are stuck in the past
The belief that chains you to the cycle of guilt is one in your past. The headmaster in your life is gone now, but the flashbacks and words remain. Why is that? Is it because you became so used to them, that they kept you safe? They were all you ever knew, the only way you knew how to navigate the world. With no other guide, you are terrified of letting go of this belief, which defines your existence.
Maybe you are terrified, if you let go of this belief, you will become a terrible and selfish person. Or maybe you are scared of becoming better, because it would feel like your past never happened.
Okay thanks for reading! Will post part 2 when this gets 20+ notes :D
Atsushi Analysis - why I kin Atsushi Nakajima (and maybe why you kin him too)
From the moment I started watching Bungo Stray Dogs, I felt a huge connection to and related a lot to Atsushi, and it’s the reason he is still one of my favorite characters to this day. But reading other people’s analysis of Atsushi, though they are wonderful, I didn’t feel like they quite captured how I connected to him. So I am posting this in the hope someone will feel similarly to me and be able to relate! :D
starting with episode 1, the first scene that struck me was Atsushi’s flashbacks:
I did not grow up in an orphanage, and my past is nowhere near as terrible as Atsushi’s, but a parental figure (the ‘headmaster’ in my life) had spoken to me like this in the past, and their words continued to haunt me almost everyday, or when something triggered them. What shook me was that Atsushi’s flashbacks were almost identical to the words that would attack me often in my head.
“You’re useless.”
“Worthless.”
“Stupid.”
“You should just die.” “It would be better if you were dead.” (If you relate to this, I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug <3 no one deserves to think these thoughts, and they are so wrong.)
2. The way Atsushi hugged his legs when he was upset was exactly how I sat when I was upset.
3. The test to join the Armed Detective Agency
To save everyone from the bomb, Atsushi covered it with his own body, thinking it would kill him but protect everyone else.
At the time I watched BSD for the first time, I genuinely believed my life was worth less than others’. Therefore, as a logical choice, I would have done exactly the same thing as Atsushi. If my life was worth less than others’, then I was the logical sacrifice.
4. The worth of Atsushi’s Life
in the episode when Atsushi fights Kyouka, we find out the belief that the headmaster instilled in Atsushi: that Inconveniencing/not benefitting others means he doesn’t deserve to live, while saving (or helping) others means he deserves to live.
Simply put, Atsushi believes the worth of his life comes from how much he helps and benefits others.
and that is exactly the same belief my parental figure taught me.
By trying to save/help others, Atsushi seeks the permission to live, to exist. Maybe, if he helps just one more person, if he has a big enough impact on someone, then he’ll finally be free of the guilt he feels for existing. But it is a never ending cycle, because there’s no finish line for his race. How many people, exactly, does he have to “save” for him to be worthy of existing? He lives in never ending guilt, never ending fear, that the amount he has helped is not enough for him to live. The truth is, the number of people he saves will never be enough until he confronts his twisted belief.
5. Atsushi vs Akutagawa
this is the moment Atsushi confronts the belief he was taught that how much he helps others determines his right to live. He realizes through the injustice of Kyouka’s situation that others don’t get to decide if someone is worthy of living. Because everyone is worthy of life, including Kyouka, and so including Atsushi as well.
And watching this, I realized it with him. The ‘headmaster’ in my life didn’t get to decide how much I deserved to live. No one did. Everyone has the same right to live.
so if you related to this post, you deserve to live too. Not because you help others, because your life is valuable and precious, without you doing anything at all. <3
have a photo of my Atsushi plushie cuz I love him sm <3 thanks for reading!
BSD SPOILERS POSSIBLE BSD SPOILERS IM SORRY I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ADD CONTENT LITTLE WARNINGS FOR SPOILERS
what if because of Fyodors (possible or confirmed unsure) religious past and present, he thinks Atsushi isnt “man” enough due to his reaction to his offer to join the DOA, he see’s him more a “boy” and less than a “man” because he’s more emotional.
What if the orphanage told Atsushi that and that’s why he’s so insecure and why thinks he’s so weak, i believe there are SOME implications that the orphanage could’ve possibly been religious, and with how he was treated its possible they could’ve told him stuff like how he’s “not ready to be a man yet” because he’d was just a more emotional kid
okay thats it!! i’lll go back to drawing, #1 atsushi fan is leaving now
hiihii tiktok getting deleted take my art ! i am atsushi and also sskk number 1 fan
There's always a moment of epiphany where i remember i am an artist & can draw anything i want. |COMMISSIONS OPEN!!|
More beast memes cause i miss them 💔
(Also you cant tell me this isn’t something they would do)
i was watching serial experiments lain and i thought "her hair kinda looks like atsushis" so uhm.
(ignore the random side profile) i hate it he looks like a mosquito
I NEED THIS TO BE CANON THIS IS SO FUNNY
headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone
like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection – like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense
but the tiger
the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida
then kyouka and junichiro
and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno
at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members
but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah
anyway:
atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: we should eat him
atsushi: NO????
//
kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi
the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him
kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell
atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha
//
atsushi, literally just working:
the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.
atsushi: NO??????????????
ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-
//
and so on
is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes
atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like
atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-
the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice
atsushi:
atsushi: oh
atsushi: oh no
//
akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?
atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like
akutagawa, blushing: oh-
atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u
akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-
//
eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like
atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)
the tiger: yeah :)
the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him
atsushi: no??????????????
//
kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi
atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?
kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????
//
atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-
the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-
atsushi: no.
//
atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u
akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-
akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room
atsushi: do u not like goose :(
akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here
//
yeah
literally me except I don’t identify as a girl
