This Is Going To Be A Long Post, It's Kinda Just Me Writing All My Raw Unfiltered Thoughts On ABA Therapy

I love people with npd so much. I’m sorry that world is so ableist. I’m sorry that you can’t be anywhere without hearing the word ‘narcissism’ or ‘npd’ used in a negative light. I’m sorry that there isn’t anywhere near enough support.

I’m so sorry that you can’t win. It must be so suffocating and aggravating, living in a world where it feels like everybody hates you. You deserve better.

i want you all to know that there is an artist (carmen papalia) who, after he started using a white cane, assembled a 12 foot long white cane and began using it in downtown vancouver. the length of the cane made it functionally useless as a device and the only purpose it served was making him an obstacle for sighted people. dare i say… 2019 goals

Do you have any advice for dealing with Kleptomania? I'm realizing I might be...uh...that, and it's one of those things people stigmatize to hell and back, but not one of those things I've seen or heard a lot about.

I'm not dumb enough to think it's just "uwu help I'm so quirky I stole stuff" disease and it's probably not like...completely uncontrollable, but I tend to experience worse symptoms when I'm stressed and feel out of control, so any advice would help a ton.

First of all, I am so sorry you deal with this as well. I absolutely understand how stressful and overwhelming it can be, especially when you're first realizing it.

My biggest piece of advice is try and find ways to reroute it..kinda like creating loopholes for it so that the urge to steal can still be satisfied in non dangerous ways (e.g ways that won't result in prison time or legal trouble)

This is how I've managed to cope with it and the symptoms have become much less stressful. My number 1 loopholes are:

Taking things that aren't owned by anyone and allowing my brain to view it as stealing. (Pennies on the ground, rocks outside of restaurants, free pens or candies from businesses etc.)

"Borrowing" things from my friends and partners, especially those who know about my kleptomania and make a big deal of pretending to really be concerned about what I've taken.

Advice that doesn't relate to actually giving in (somewhat) to the urges are:

Keeping my hands busy while in stores or other locations that trigger the impulses. I like to use subtle stim toys, but things like a phone can help too.

Wearing clothing that would make it super hard to steal (bright clothing, no pockets, very small bags etc) Knowing that I wouldn't be able to get away with it tends to keep me from giving in.

Listening to music or journaling helps with the anxiety that comes along with it.

I've only recently been actively working on this, but as I discover more things I'll share them here. And if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!! I hope this helps 💜💜

Fuck it I'm taking back the pyro tags and flooding them with info posts myself I'm tired of this shit.

Ask box is open for questions, shared experiences etc

btw if you wanna see a blind character, the chief engineer on Star Trek: The Next Generation is blind. He has a thing across his eyes that helps him see

I have no idea if this is eugenics-supporting anon so I'll assume you aren't.

Yes, Geordi! Gods, I loved him growing up. He was such great representation, especially for the ti.e period.

in recognition of World Down Syndrome Day on March 21

what's the most upsetting ask you've ever received?

The one from last night where someone who claimed to be pro choice not only approved of aborting fetuses with Down Syndrome. In fact, they thought it should happen with every Down Syndrome pregnancy. I don't even want to post a screenshot of the ask.

There's also the death threats, suicide baiting, and rape threats, but those were for another blog.

girls sitting next to me talking about how a peanut allergic kid transferred into one of their schools and all peanut products were banned. They're genuinely hating on this kid so much. One of them compared it to lactose intolerance and how they don't restrict who eats what and I... THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "I DRANK MILK AND SHIT MYSELF" AND "I SMELL A PEANUT AND DIE OF ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK" they are in fact WILDLY DIFFERENT DISORDERS. One is the inability to digest a sugar and the other is a deathly allergy. This counts as ableism right? Like hating on someone because you have to accommodate their involuntary life issues?

Okay, as a mod of cripplecharacters, I'm about to go off from several different angles. And these aren't even all of my thoughts. I have more. (TW for ableism, mention of prone restraints, caricature characters, and really, really poor writing of disabled characters.)

If she didn't get her information through a collaboration with Autism Speaks then where'd she get it? She claims she did three years of research. Did none of that research include basic stuff about writing disabled characters in general? Also, it takes five seconds to find out that there's an issue with Autism Speaks. It's in the little Wikipedia blurb. She didn't even skim Wikipedia in three years?

Not even come slightly close to the topic of prone restraints (which have a death count,) and definitely not portray is as a good thing twice

Gotten rid of that detail of Music having an accident during Kazoo's relapse. Yeah, that can happen sometimes with some autistics in real life, but the fact that it was portrayed the way it was and by an actress who wasn't autistic-

Similarly, the angry "Brush you hair" scene was... where to even start? No, not by an actress who isn't, at the very least, MSN or semispeaking (or even nonspeaking)

Gotten rid of that inspiration porn Music singing scene at the end.

Significantly rewritten the guy who is... I think he's Zu's love interest?

Actually done something with the kid who seemed to care so deeply for Music.

Explained how said kid managed to acquire twenty thousand dollars to buy Music a service dog over the internet just like that???

Remove Music not doing anything about finding her grandmother dead on the floor??? Or at least acknowledge that the poor girl was probably traumatized from the experience and had no idea what to do or how to help? It's shot almost like she's being selfish and choosing not to help rather than being disabled, terrified, and unable to help.

Not forced Maddie into this movie using their massive power imbalance. Definitely should never have forced a young teenaged girl into a position so bad that she literally broke down sobbing because she didn't want to come across as a caricature, at which point Sia lied to her. Look, Maddie was what, fourteen? And Sia was basically a mother figure and the one responsible for Maddie's success.

Not called stimming tics. Tics come from a very different group of disorders, involuntary stimming behaviours are a completely different thing with different reasons and mechanisms. If she wanted to write Music having tics, she should have given her a tic disorder. Actually, wait, scratch that. She screwed up badly enough with a singularly-disabled character. I don't want to know how much lower she could go by trying to portray a multiple-disabled character.

Not lied about trying to get a nonspeaking actress (because she was quoted long before that as saying she would only make the movie if Maddie was the main role. She wasn't going to try with an autistic actress.) Not acted like firing the fictional autistic actress was a mercy rather than putting some work in and making the set accessible for her.

Like, sure, maybe a hypothetical nonspeaking actress couldn't have been able to handle the dancing. You know what the solution to that is? Either adapt the dancing or get her an autistic stunt double who can do the dancing

Not have Music be significantly less autistic in her head? The stimming and movement abnormalities fade, if not vanish entirely, during the dream sequences. As though the version of Music in her head is less autistic than Music in her body, maybe even not autistic at all. Which is an idea that has blood on its hands

Not tried to portray all of autism rather than just Music, a character who happens to be autistic. What Sia was doing was trying to portray autism as a whole, or maybe even turn the entire idea of autism into a character rather than create a person with autism. Compare this to a (slightly) better example, Wendy from Please Stand By. Dakota Fanning wasn't trying to portray all of autism and her character wasn't written to portray autism as a whole, she was playing Wendy, one particular autistic woman, rather than a caricature.

Given Music literally anything. Why doesn't she have hobbies? Where's her personality? I know nothing about Music as a person and that's because she wasn't written to be a person.

The dead disabled brother plot was unnecessary. As was the HIV plot.

"She can hear two rooms away" she's autistic, not Superman.

The grandmother left absolutely no plan to help Zu care for her H-MSN sister, not even a note in her will like "The neighbour is close with her, he can help." I know she died suddenly but c'mon, she has a grandchild who will need care for the rest of her life, she should have been more cautious as an elderly woman. Her carelessness was setting Zu up for failure and Music up for an even worse time of this massive change in her life.

So yeah, it would make sense that there's some growing pains, Zu has no idea how to interact with her sister and her sister is probably distressed, confused, grieving, and frustrated because her entire world is changing. But rather than treating this as a "Yeah, this would have gone better with a bit of planning and we're both struggling because we're going into this blind," it's portrayed as "Music is the source of all of my problems, she's the worst, she's unreasonable, she's the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I hate her." Why is Music being portrayed as a burden rather than the burden being how ill-prepared the grandmother left all involved parties for this eventuality.

Wasn't Music meant to be HSN? Like, level three autism? Spoken like someone who's never interacted with someone who's HSN before.

Zu is high-key resentful towards Music as though any of this is her fault and she seems so desperately dedicated to either ignoring or despising her sister and the way it's portrayed makes it feel like the audience is supposed to agree with Zu?

Wow, I went off. To keep this from being nine hundred miles longer, she should have just not done that. If she had submitted this plot to cripplecharacters, literally any of us, autistic or not, could have told her not to do this. Did she even talk to someone from the disabled community? You don't even need to be autistic, just disabled, to know that pretty much all of this was a horrific idea.

What SIA Should’ve Done Making Her Movie ‘Music’

Cast an autistic actor for the main character

Consulted with actual autistic people instead of f$&@ing Auti$m $peaks

Did PROPER research

Made the movie accessible to watch - got rid of the whole flashing light thing that could trigger seizures

Used an actual mixed actor instead of doing literal blackface

Started being open to criticism instead of having a flip out at people for calling her out

Not agreed with an interviewer comparing non-verbal people to an actual inanimate object wtf

Feel free to add to this

there was a tiktok I made a while ago basically saying "your abusive ex boyfriend is more likely a misogynist than a narcissist" and while most people agreed some said I was victim blaming(?) and that I couldn't know what their ex is like, and while obviously I don't, every fucking person describing their narcissistic ex is describing a typical misogynist. ask yourself, is this behavior you associate with narcissism directed at women or does he treat his male friends the same way? is his general functioning in life impaired?

many people don't seem to know this, but a mental disorder is NOT based on symptoms alone, it's based on how much the symptoms actually impair you in daily life. most people could look at a list of mental disorder symptoms and identify either themselves or someone else with them. as far as a narcissistic personality, we all know people who appear more self absorbed than others, but this is typically subclinical narcissism (presence of narcissistic traits without significant impairment of functioning) which is not a disorder. there is also a misunderstanding of what npd is. a narcissist is not a supervillain invincible to emotion. npd is a defensive reaction to trauma that lead to deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. so narcissists aren't actually "in love with themselves" at all and often are diagnosed when seeking help for other issues such as substance abuse resulting from their struggles.

this focus a lot of abused women in online pop psychology have on narcissism is particularly concerning because it completely glosses over misogyny which is literally a huge factor in violence against women. people really only know misogyny as a surface level thing. they don't know it can lead to family annihilation, for example, and is one reason most family annihilations are committed by the husband. it's always "this man is a sociopath" "this man is a narcissist" when the man's behavior is driven by ideology. I am so fucking tired of everything being tied to mental illness and left at that. you know what this leads to? courts "fixing" abusive men by...giving them anger management therapy. guess what? it doesn't fucking do anything because the problem isn't mental instability leading to anger, it's targeted, purposeful abuse. we are getting nowhere