PYRATES BEWARE // An Instrumental Playlist For Piracy And Sea Voyages

Fleur is Online!

Rita: Fleur, is it true that you were romantically involved with Clarisse Martin in school? And that you dated a few other girls throughout your time as a Beauxbatons student?

Rita: ...

Rita: My, my, isn’t this a riveting revelation, dear readers?

Rita: Why, haven’t you loved girls?

Rita: Then isn’t it self-explanatory, dear? My readers are going to be stunned and starving for all the nitty-gritty details. Does your husband know?

Rita: Well, you are married to a man...

Rita: Don’t get defensive! The people just get what they want, and what they want, I give. You’re bisexual and married to a man; some may find it curious.

So I read Carry On not long ago and then preordered and consumed Wayward Son so here’s some illustrations of my favorite scenes!!

this morning my starbucks is all women, so when i ordered it was all “i love your glasses!” “that drink is soooo good” “have a great day babe!” which is amazing showstopping incredible BUT yesterday the same starbucks was staffed by all guys and my interaction went kind of like this:

first guy, unprompted: we’re trying to help john name his scorpion

his coworker, leaning around him: here’s a list of names you should vote or write your own

me: …..what

john: AGGRESSIVELY SHOWS ME PICTURE OF BABY SCORPION

I crave intimacy but I get confused and uncomfortable when I’m shown even the slightest bit of attention or affection.

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

“Innocent”

McGonagall: *Fixes him with a deadpan stare*

Practical, not sexist or supposed-to-look-hot female armor which actually protects you.

Do waterproof sockets exist???

Petition to start putting sockets in bathroom to keep people going through the bloody hell known as periods occupied while try to cope with cramps and all the shit that comes with it

Tell me about your crush!

R: wassup loser?

R: obviously not, we’ve been dating for like a year Pads

R: describe Minerva.

geralt : for five minutes...could you not be yourself? for five! minutes!