Stucky.

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

what was the fucking context for this

hes coming

it’s only when you get older that you realize how much your average american childhood resembled being a cult

kamukoma angst hours

me, when none of the uquiz options fit me and i have to choose a random option: this is horrible. i am going to get a skewed result in this quiz about what type of [insert inconsequential internet culture thing] i am

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a virgin

guys help

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autistic/adhd meme for your autistic/adhd meme needs

dream: trying to be responsible about george coming to america

george: dream buy me a private jet :( smuggle me to america. we can get ✨married✨ even... they can't deport me dream you'll protect me. they can't take me away then :) i'll just stay forever 💗 i just won't leave america and i'll be with you