Latest Posts by spider-simp - Page 5

@divinelowblood

nintendo: can’t have alcohol in our child gambling games!!! solution???

vacation juice

@divinelowblood

I finally had a Tumblr post-worthy thought.

Don't you ever, EVER, sit down on the toilet without checking for a spider first.

Because like

you ever just vibe in the shower with the spider sitting on its web in the corner closest to the ceiling?

It's a nice experience when you're having those nervous one-sided conversations as you're desperately trying to pop that pimple on your shoulder.

But like, what if the spider saw you use the toilet sometime before and then after you got out of the shower they were like

"Why do the gigantic two-eyed, four-limbed beings spend so much time on the shiny white stone domestic puddle?" and go to try it out for themself and then they just transcend space and time right then and there and are having this fantastic cosmic experience as their astral energy travels the multiverse

only to get suddenly smashed by a pair of asscheeks because somebody else in the house doesn't fucking look before they leap - or, in this case, sit down

just

just think about it

look before you sit on the toilet, people. Please, I'm begging you.

@divinelowblood here it is, Crackerjacks, your spirit animal but it's a Tumblr post

this is it. my magnum opus

tfw you and your 734868324687 siblings get dumped in the Death Pit for punishment while dad throws a rave upstairs

Me writing a theory about Qilby while simultaneously hoping the Eliatropes will show up on Earth one day

My friends planning to hurt their ocs

@socially-anxious-mochi I know you do this with your Qilby fanfiction

90% of my writing experience is doing this

This is me and the mom friend of my squad in a nutshell. Thank you.

this little darling is jevil!

I cried

Just watched 'Weathering with you' and I love the concept of a bunch of runaway siblings from royalty, living together in a cramped apartment, trying to survive a large city.

And also i like putting modern stuff in HK.

why do I love this

I keep thinking about this

@scp-wiki-official

Thanks, now I'll forever see Chambrea with a French accent :)

Anyways g bless @koronbain-tenshidere because I love this ship and g bless @actually-karp because I couldn't stop thinking about their smiling Amadeus drawing. Dndnndn But I quickly finished this, and let me tell you, my heart is sinGING RighT NOw. The audio was way too cute not to make this. Quick edit, I'm guessing it didn't save but the audio is from the Aristocats!!

who spilled the cranberry juice cocktail

The joke is that it's how EVERYONE'S brain is.

Actually, they're based off demons, so their designs are technically already correct enough. They're not yetis. They're Oni.

zetis need to be more like YETIS so i made redesigns

NEVER NOT REBLOG

I love how the Impidimp line is basically The Little Guys That Steal the Socks from Your Dryer.

And I’m just picturing Morgrems and Grimmsnarls just using their size and strength to steal bigger things. Like you have to solve some riddle to find out where they hid your BBQ grill. Some douche makes an Impidimp cry and the next morning the Grimmsnarls have stuck his car up a tree, how are you gonna get it down, huh? Ha ha!

Once a tourist brought an RV to Ballonlea and like four Grimmsnarls moved it to the other side of town to confuse the hell out of him.

Reblogging for "Brothers Grimmsnarl"

Toxtricity in the City

Brothers Grimmsnarl

Dubwool Whammy

My Sandaconda don't want none

SAM is a good role model.

listen… i’m a lesbian and i know full well what oppression based on love is like… but i wish white gay folks wouldn’t act like sexuality is the only reason anyone’s ever felt that

I mean... My type is bastards who have the potential to be tender and loving towards their s/o. •Qilby (Wakfu Season 2) •Lumine (Megaman X8) •Dark Taranza (Team Kirby Clash Deluxe) •Carpaccio (Wario: Master of Disguise) •Does Arceus (Pokémon Gen 4 [Diamond/Pearl/Platinum]) count? He was pretty aggressive in the beginning, but that was due to being tricked by the humans- •I kinda wanna count Zor (Sonic Lost World) but then again, he is just depressed bby. Maybe he is tiny bit of bastard because he is sassy mofo.

Oh no… I never noticed a theme in the characters I’m drawn to in fiction before because there didn’t used to be a pattern…

But guys… I think I’ve got a type.

Baby-faced beefcakes with hearts of gold and biceps that could crush a watermelon.

a g o n y n i p p l e ?

Pain bricks

If you must know, they probably saw the live-action CATS movie.

i have seen catgirls in real life.

Thank you all, now I know what to look out for.

Tea drinkers read this!!!

If you buy pre-made herbal tea blends (usually have names like Bedtime, Calm, etc) check the ingredients. I just saw a Nighttime blend that had St. Johns Wort in it, which can be dangerous when mixed with some medications. Talk to you doctor what herbs you should avoid. (Especially when you want to ingest st. Johns wort or mugwort) 

 A simple hint to remember is just because its in a food store, doesn’t mean its safe. 

this is probably the cutest thing I've ever read on my dashboard.

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

my third braincell at 2 AM

someone needs to animate this

Captive children found each other

Allow me to introduce you to one.

Meet Qilby; an immortal half-dragon God. He betrayed his own kind out of boredom and invited a distant race from another planet to wreak havoc on it just so his people would have a reason to leave. They only found out a few millenniums later. He even tricked the main protagonist, who was his kind's King reincarnated, into thinking that QILBY was the King.

He also beat up the King's twin, and those two are literally only thirteen.

He's not just a madlad. He's a hellbent gent.

if a hot evil villain tried to seduce me to the dark side i would simply say fuck yes

We're allowed to be shamelessly interested in helping other people.

I was about to make a post like "the only thing girls are allowed to be shamelessly interested in is boys" and then I remembered how many girls get made fun of for being "boy-crazy" and now I've decided girls are actually now allowed to be shamelessly interested in anything.

The angel on my shoulder judging everyone and everything, including my life choices:

The devil on my other shoulder regretting my life choices for me:

people always talk about how the masses used to watch gladiator fights or public executions for fun, but we rarely discuss how people also went to human medical surgery’s for sport and entertainment, just showed up in a big tent and watched official operations, sometimes a flutist played music in the corner for it

like, “I’m not not dying of some random disease or having to work a 50 hour work day today, better go watch some dude get his leg sawed off in a science tent.”

what I’m saying is that it’s good we invented tv 

I love this idea so much

some ideas for more time-oriented hats

since hatty time has remarkably few time-based abilities, i've been envisioning my own

Tangent Hat: A mobile checkpoint. When equipped, the Tangent Hat drops a marker at your exact location. You can then rewind time to the exact moment you equipped the hat, regaining any health you lost along the way and resetting things to the way they were. The marker disappears when you change hats, so be careful!

Revisionist Hat: When triggered, this hat transports you to an empty version of the current environment, set sometime in the past. From here you can interact with the environment in certain ways, "revising" the scene in the present.

Simulator Hat: Look forward in time. When activated, this hat places you in a mental simulation of the current level for up to two minutes, allowing you to "rehearse" a difficult section without consequences. The level cannot be completed this way, though; if the end is reached before the simulation expires, you'll still have to do it again for real.

finally... after all these years of reading crazy wifi network screenshots...

I finally have my own.

how the fuck did I drop these bars in the comment section

Sometimes, although our words or actions may hurt others, they might understand. It's important to have support to help you get better with this kind of thing. If someone in your life - be it a friend or a partner - can't help you but still cares enough to put up with it, and you care about them enough to change, then you have almost a full balance there. You'll just need another friend or a partner who understands what you're going through enough to be able to help you in the ways you need.

Speaking from experience, I have a brother who was that way. He left to live with his girlfriend, and that actually emotionally wounded our mother. After realizing what he'd done, and hearing that I was having trouble at home, he starting visiting more often on his days off from work and teaching me by telling his experiences so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes he did.

I'm glad he took the time to do that, because since he started, I've shown much more improvement.

Thank you, Tyler.

Unpopular opinion, but sometimes it feels like ND positive posts can make the assumption that our actions don’t impact other people. 

Like “it’s ok if you can’t meet a deadline!” If I don’t keep up with my grading and lesson planning, that negatively impacts my 128 students. 

“It’s ok if you can’t reply to texts! Or hang out with your friends!” Other people (even NT people) have feelings. 

Honestly, I think the message should be more “you’re not a bad person for these things” and less “it doesn’t matter.”

If you can’t keep up with deadlines, you’re not a bad person. But you do have to consider what career you go into so you aren’t screwing over other people in the process. 

You aren’t a bad person if you can’t keep up with friendships, but your friends shouldn’t be expected to just wait around until you can. 

I think this is the biggest disconnect between me and the “ADHD is a gift!” movement. I laugh it off when my ADHD impacts me. Like, when I forget to bring my lunch to work or walk into my bedroom multiple times forgetting what I needed many times in a row. 

But it crushes me when my ADHD hurts my students or coworkers. 

Maybe I’m missing something here, and I hope I am, but I think we desperately need to re-evaluate the way we talk about neurodivergence.

For me, it was art

We all have that one class that triggers our fight or flight response