I Watch The Spider Weaving Fresh Webbing Because Spiders Don't Have Five Day Forecasts This Spider Doesn't

My body won't hold me There's too much of me for one, I'm more than just a face or skin Changing, never done.

I am a heart and a mind And the worlds in my head, I wasn't made by hands But sparked from fire instead.

Maybe I am energy Am I a spirit or a soul? So just being physical Is never really being whole.

Arms and legs won't cage me I am not grounded by the land, I know how it feels to fly When all I do is stand.

The bones in my legs Are no bones at all They are leaden and heavy And it took me a long time To accept that I Needed some help just To learn how to stand

You ask me to walk Like it is easy Because everyone with Skin and muscle can do so Because though you may know The lead is not Visible to you And your understanding of me

So when you hang your head When you are short with me And I am trying to move And I am so tired And you are upset What else can I do But resign to apology?

When the divine was Forming me up in The heavens I was born a soul

Given a body To puppet To express myself To shape ideas

I was given a heart Because I was love Made physical A being of passion

Taught language To write To create worlds Of flowing emotion

I was gifted curiosity A spiritual journey Unfolding within As joy and wonder

In the womb I grew a brain As an afterthought Or maybe by mistake

I saw a small bone on the sidewalk The size of my pinkie finger I sat with it, wondering of the skeleton A truck drove by and honked loudly The bone rolled slightly on the pavement As the truck sped heavily forwards

Little bone from a little one I pictured you as a mouse, a chipmunk Maybe you were a vole or a bird I longed to touch your bone and know you But I was afraid of the reality That you lay there gentle and beautiful When the act upon your body was likely not

Close your eyes, I'm in the corner of your mind, The corner you see in your Peripheral vision but hardly look at. I'm in the shadows with a match, The flame that crackles and sizzles And sparks, burning lower Until the tiny coals go out Between my finger tips. I'm the light that shines When you can't always see.

Close your arms, I'm the warm, solid Scarred and healed Body that fits between your limbs Like the smallest Of the nesting dolls. I'm the familiar smell of Sweat and sage, unwashed And a little greasy, I'm the familiar sensation you can feel In bed when you lay awake at night, The last breath before sleep.

Don't close your heart, We've both been hurt, Dragged across the street And unknowingly scratched up By one another. I am your inner child's teddy bear, The one that's missing an eye With a bit of stuffing coming out. We are the animals we keep on pillows When we are old When we are bit more gentle, When we have the thread To sew up the torn parts. When we don't need to be Perfect anymore.

I speak to you inside my mind My inner world a sanctuary A holy place just for myself I would have you sit here with me

Watch the water as it flows My river of thoughts and words Walk with me through wet grass Full of insects and hunting birds

Do you feel safe here with me? There's a soft and misty glow In the sunrise of my imagination I hope you feel at home

I am not embarrassed or afraid I am messy and flawed and bare In a open field of chamomile flowers I am myself with you and that's rare

Maybe I laugh a little too much Like a part of me is ashamed But I opened this world to you Our fears laid out to be reclaimed

I feel you move inside my head Move me with all that you are You're as real as anything we feel As the light from a newborn star

Did you lay me down Or let me go? From fear or mercy I don't know And you are with me Even so

I feel you in rooms That feel like home See you on streets I drive alone Your serenity Inside my bones

Did you send a song Over a breeze? I can hear your Peaceful melody And I sing with you In harmony

We are all down to earth here Even the birds in the sky Especially the beetles and bees and flies All as one on our mystical sphere We are all down to earth here

We are all part of the dust If we piled it up, what would it be? Would we create a new being entirely? The magic of our world is hushed We are all part of the dust

I cannot make promises to you That I might meet you in old age In a time period I cannot predict I cannot promise you a long life Or a vow to always be beside you

It is a desire, a dull craving even To see the sun rise this morning And tomorrow and the next day If I had the ability, or the knowing I would give you security in facts

All that is certain to me currently Is that uncertainty is in our water It is in that river down below us It is in the tap that fills our glasses It is one of the few true comforts I can offer, darling, please don't cry

Does anyone else Count syllables on fingers While writing haiku?