The Bones In My Legs Are No Bones At All They Are Leaden And Heavy And It Took Me A Long Time To Accept

The sky is dark Like it always is now The wind is strong Winter's frozen vow

The clouds gather In harmonious sorrow Time stopped Between now and tomorrow

Nevermore shall I hear your sweet whisper hello My body lies beneath a hundred blankets of snow

I passed death Slipped beyond his light Into my dark Surrounded by white

I no longer feel There's no sense of cold No heart to beat No love to behold

And in the sun I sparkle with an ever mystic glow My body lies beneath a hundred blankets of snow

It's just hair Sometimes I am Covered in it Sometimes it Isn't there It doesn't matter Much to me Whether I am Blanked or bare I thought That it defined me Or that one way Made you want me I don't know Why I cared But you shaved Above my lip What I thought You wanted there So I still think It's why you left me That it was just Because of hair

Never again could I love Anyone as I do you, Fellow poet

Because with everyone else Poetry has been My mistress

And with you, we share her, Together we have Moaned her name

Love and hate coexist together In one person A continuous fluctuation between Sympathy and disgust I want to ruin her I want to hold her head under water And watch her squirm

So I can drag her out Give her mouth to mouth Cradle her gasping body in my arms While I scream at her for being stupid Spitting and wiping my lips That were tainted from saving her

I hate her and I love her I hate to love her, never the opposite Never have I hated a person before And I have no reason to hate her More so I hate our transgressions I hate the wrongness we shared And the shame of it all

My hate is usually dulled to apathy The forgetting It absolves me, that forgetting It takes the two emotions and washes Them away I cannot feel one without the other

The time I spend alone Is so precious and Soul filling, it is needed

My time away is a Haven, a grove A quiet reserve I call home

And my heart is so full Of myself, known, I Am satisfied, quenched

I am far from her now That longing, if it's there, To be near her is rare

Moonlight, moonlight You are so much kinder to me Than your lover sun Who is so demanding As to burn.

You, the brightest one Who watches over us Whispering, "do not be afraid," You, who makes the dark A bedroom.

Moonlight, moonlight Caretaker of the earth Giver of sweetest dreams, I keep you with me in the day As thoughts.

I want to be somebody's songbird The same unclaimed way The earth is the galaxy's Or roots belong to the trees I long to be somebody's

I want to be somebody's songbird Create a new sound Compose our very own tune Whistle in the afternoon Singing come home to me soon

I want to be somebody's songbird A finch or a sparrow Even brown stands out in snow Under winter's dark I glow Somebody already knows

Don't sit with me today It's not a day For togetherness

It is a day for uncertainty For distance For dissonance

I swam with Fish from Other seas Other creatures From fresh And salty waters Knowing In the depths Of my heart

That All I really Wanted was To settle In a quiet Backyard pond With you

White, red, and green lights Add softness to the dark nights The nights that feel like A warm cup of tea Nights I wish you were here With me Then I remember that you are In the passenger side of my car Don’t you worry about the roads I know they don’t feel like Your roads at home We drive on Christmas Eve Down these old familiar streets It’s one of those years we’re Covered in snow That blankets us in its cozy cold Let’s do a jigsaw by the TV Watching the fireplace dancing freely I know you don’t care For this time of year Still I’m glad that you are here The tree doesn’t look the same When you’re not around Though your world is upside down But we’re right side up in a snowglobe Tonight let’s call that home In a world of pine and wreaths Crackling fires and flannel sheets When I sing to you all those Annoyingly festive songs And you smile and sing along I’ll never try to change your mind To make you love Christmastime I just love sitting with you On a silent night In the glow of these beautiful lights