I Want To Be Somebody's Songbird The Same Unclaimed Way The Earth Is The Galaxy's Or Roots Belong To

I can write about love I can write about birds and cats And the movement of water

I can write about solitude About the comfort of silence And have it all mean the same thing

Ashes to ashes I'll get your ashes next week And hold you as dust

The snow fell on the earth Drew its blanket over the ground It brought with it the cold bite And I felt it all around

Winter sang its song of sleep As it darkened the skies But who sings for those animals Who never reopen their eyes?

Frost colored my hands Despite the fire in my heart I mourned in my blues and blacks Watching the life depart

My Instagram account only exists Because I don't think you have my phone number Or if you did, you wouldn't use it Because that would mean you would reach out Which would mean you think of me Which I know you do, here and there Not enough to do more than like post I only share for you If I delete my Instagram account I would essentially delete you That is the problem with social media It paints a picture of you as my friend, which you aren't But I say happy birthday to you (I think you have forgotten mine) You say Merry Christmas to me once in a blue moon So my account stays up, I check it That way we don't become strangers completely

Life flows freely through cold rivers While I sit in my stagnant pond I need to be cleansed Before the algae covers me completely

We could have been green together Further down the river We could have been blue too The frogs are leaping as I stretch my legs

To think they were not together That they were never lead To merging paths To hold each other on nights So quiet and clear

To think they were not together In the warmest of hours The most joyous of holidays Longing fading still

That they were not together Is such a vast and endless void Their absence so tangible And thick as the air In the greenest stormy sky

To think they held hands But not each other's That they kissed lips That were not their own And called it a life

I am laying in the tall grass On a cloudy afternoon The air is still, The grass does not blow In the wind or on a breeze

It is quiet, the birds are quiet There is an ant crawling On my arm, there is a Cottontail munching on Nearby dandelions

The gray clouds are peaceful They don't promise rain Now there is also a Small beetle on my shirt They are claiming me, these bugs

They are accepting me into their World of the tall grass Where the rabbits and moles live Where life is slower I will go inside later

How do I give a voice To my anger When I have banished it To the corner For whispering? Like it is the child I am ashamed of, Or that if I were to Let it speak It might scream And never stop

I've passed off so many Thoughts to you, Anger, I'm sorry For making you bear That burden When I had never given You the chance to Grow strong So you might know how To stand by me

And I'm sorry, I never Trusted you Because you hurt So often in the past, I chose serenity, I needed it But I felt you, Simmering inside me Squashed down when All you wanted Was just to be heard

Grief is a large pelican Diving into the water where I was swimming peacefully Scooping me up in its beak

It carries me up from my home This is just nature's way I succumb to the darkness of Drowning in someone's mouth

I do not care that When I speak passionately He smiles and his Eyes glaze over in confusion I do not care that He does not understand What I mean when I say The world inside me is glowing Or that the goldfinches Were singing to me in color

He is not meant to Understand my musings He is my rock on a crashing Shore that is always stormy My friend who sits By me and never asks for me To explain my layered words I care only that He is happy to share space And listen to me anyway