I Wanted To Maladaptive Daydream, But Instead Our Littlest Is Co-con So I Guess I’m Just Gonna Hang

I would recommend just taking your time. You have a lifetime to figure things out, and from my experience the faster you try to learn about your system/get to know your headmates the more likely you are to have a denial phase. I used to cycle really badly between denial and trying to accept my system, and I only started making progress when I got to a point where I accepted that my little brain guys are around, but I don’t need to figure everything out immediately. Slowly easing into getting to know everyone and listen to them has worked really well for me, but if you find a better way by all means take it :)

guys i set up a simply plural what do i do now

also update: i havent gotten anyone to front yet other than that night

also i can hear my headmates (i think) but it feels like im just imagining them saying things instead of them actually saying things

system role the sleeper. guy that sleeps. creature that honk shoo honk shoo

One of our system symbols is the rat king

For us it represents that, not matter how we formed, we are connected until our last day. If one of the rats die, the rest can’t move and will soon follow. The only way for us to survive is to work together and help each other.

We are a rat king, we may be many individuals, but we are all one.

*no other system has fictives it

making some simply plural custom fields because all the ones i& find are exclusionist.

names ,, nicknames ,, petnames ,, pronouns ,, terms ,,

age ,, maturity ,, birthday ,, formation ,,

species ,, appearance ,, alterhumanity ,, kins ,,

gender ,, romantic orientation ,, sexual orientation ,, mogai labels ,, amory (poly, mono, etc) ,,

languages ,, verbality ,, scribality ,, typing quirks ,,

roles ,, type (fully formed, frag, etc) ,, proxy ,, front frequency ,, clinical type (anp, ep, etc) ,, community type (host, protector, etc) ,, subsys ,, source ,, source connection ,,

dni ,, likes ,, dislikes ,, interaction status (oti, iwc, etc) ,,

front triggers (i& advise not to share these) ,, trauma responses (i& advise not to share these) ,, insys relationships ,, out of sys relationships ,,

hobbies ,, religious beliefs ,, mbti ,,

system protip: if trying to keep track of your switches and fragments feels impossible and is driving you crazy, stop doing it. or at the very least dont put as much weight into making it perfect. you dont need to track every switch, you dont need every fragment logged. sometimes its easier to just exist as a system than drive yourself up the wall trying to micromanage everything about your system

Perthshire forest, Dunkeld, Scotland

daniel_casson

I've been thinking about trauma and what may qualify, and I'm starting to realize that raising animals probably did contribute to the trauma we have.

(tw explicit animal death/killing, general gross/gore warning)

I remember watching a family friend crack open eggs that hadn't incubated fully to hatching when I was five or younger, and she explained that it's just the way things are on a farm sometimes as I watched those soggy underdeveloped chicks lay still on the straw.

When I was older one of my goats had a stillborn kid - but it had been dead long enough to rot in the womb, and its corpse was literally falling apart as we pulled it out.

I raised a couple batches of turkeys that I loved so, so much, even though I knew we'd butcher them. I named them and carried them around and spent so much time with them they were incredibly docile. One turkey from the second batch I raised got injured - I think he broke his wing or something? - and the bigger tom that was with him was doing what turkeys do and trying to bully him to death. He was in so much pain, and while I agreed to help my parents butcher him for meat, I asked that one of them kill him because I hate killing animals. Unfortunately, mom decided to wait until later in the day when it would be more convenient to butcher him. When I found him suffering in his pen hours after I thought my parents had put him down, I got my sharpest knife and sobbed as I pinned him down and slit his throat.

I have so, so many stories like those that I am starting to acknowledge qualify as traumatic for a tenderhearted kid, but I feel like I shouldn't be traumatized by them. It's the way things are on a farm, after all. It's what happens. It's how life goes. So many of my animals died because I owned a bunch of animals for a long time and it's the way things go. Was I really not strong enough to handle it? Surely I should have been able to. Surely it's just the way things are, am I really so weak as to let those facts of the circle of life hurt me?

This is what life is. Why did it break me?

Giving this to a couple of the Entities when they have time, I’ll leave it in the drafts until at least Ruger has had a chance to answer, and hopefully Shekel, cause those two would like it I think. I’d also love to see Damian respond to get to know him a bit better, but I know technology is not his thing. Not sure if Pitt or Rocky or Grey will be interested but they would be neat as well <3

Ruger:

1. Despite already being an alter, I’m a therian! I have my own human body in the inner world who is a therian. This confuses our host. I find that funny.

2. I’m a Rottweiler!

3. Sometimes I feel more dog like than others, but it’s usually a gradual change.

4. I stress everybody out because I eat a lot when fronting and usually we have trouble with food (but I am always so so hungry and I will always be so so hungry)

5. They seem neat! I don’t front enough to make friends but they’re cool

6. I have a collar with a tag that says beast on one side and whore on the other, and I love it.

7. Nah. We vibing. This is also something that confuses the host.

8. Find what brings you joy.

9. See collar mentioned above

10. I exist as a creature of passion and greed to balance out the system’s prevalent fear of appearing too needy or demanding or excessive.

Shekel:

1. I don’t have any particular association with the body so I don’t use specific terminology. In the inner world I’m an abandoned mutant/laboratory experiment.

2. Types of animals? I’m partially a person and partially a wolf, although some of my features are a bit more horse or dragon like.

3. I don’t shift, although Jay (our host) says I have a very vivid feeling when I switch in and can fuck with his perception of the body if that makes sense?

4. I don’t do much life outside of the inner world so it doesn’t effect me much, but I prefer wearing fur and eating fish when I’m fronting, stuff like that.

5. I don’t engage with strangers, I’m one of the boundary focused alters - others like Rocky love making friends and getting close to people, but some of the others and I have to mitigate that by being inherently suspicious and fast to push people away. In other words, the community looks very nice but I don’t trust anyone enough to engage much.

6. Unironically, werewolf smut is nice and feral and affirming. I also like that the body is used to walking on its toes, the way my legs are built doesn’t translate well to a human shape and being up on the toes is one of the only things that feels right.

7. Always. The body is a foot and a half shorter than I’m supposed to be, it’s the wrong shape, I don’t have fur or claws or ears. The only things that are right is the set of my shoulders and the fact that I’m bipedal.

8. Be fierce, but be kind. Love hard, but don’t force yourself to be tame.

9. My fur vest helps, and we technically have a tail, but I don’t get too dysphoric about the lack of a tail so I don’t usually use it. I want claws.

10. We suspect I’m a knockoff and divergent version of Wolf from The Lunar Chronicles, and while even in the internal world I’m not built to be good at fighting, I’m pretty sure I exist because we felt powerless and needed someone feral enough to protect us.

Pitt:

1. I consider myself nonhuman.

2. I am an angel.

3. I do not shift or change.

4. In the inner world I am blind, so seeing is a challenge when fronting.

5. N/A

6. Having our glasses off helps.

7. Not particularly. I miss my wings when fronting sometimes.

8. I have no advice.

9. No, it wouldn’t be enough.

10. In a way, I have the most religious trauma since I was a part of it, a part of god, and now I am cast aside. I formed so that Jay doesn’t have to feel guilty over what he has been through. He is not alone. I will keep him company.

Grey:

- I don’t know what categories there are. I’m just…. Here, and not remotely human.

- I’m a forest cryptid and my physical form is somewhat close to a wolf with something Wrong with it.

- my form… wavers sometimes, but I don’t know if I’d describe it as a shift.

- I don’t front much, but when I do I’m the second most likely to be nonverbal and the most likely to snarl/snap my teeth/bite anyone who crosses my boundaries (that unfortunately are much stricter than the boundaries of most of the others)

- I know nothing about the community.

- I’m very nocturnal, so I tend to stay up and Lurk in the dark.

- I don’t feel dysphoria. My true corporeal form is unable to fully contain me so it makes sense that this human body can’t either.

- to new alterhumans: if growling is the best way you can express your boundaries in the moment, it is a valid method and it’s not your fault if people don’t understand.

- I don’t need gear.

- long ago there was a boy that was hungry. His teeth grew long and his heart grew inky and his hands grew claws. The forest shoved into his soul, ripping it open and pressing inside. The boy has been hungry so long he cannot feel it - but if you try to take his food from him the wolf he became will shred the flesh off your bones.

Damian:

I don’t know shit about dick so who knows

I’m a demon

I don’t shift

I don’t live everyday life

I didn’t know there was a community

I think hitting someone with my car would feel good but I am not supposed to try that

I have a vivid sense of self but I don’t feel uncomfortable inhabiting this body, my true form overlays it in a way so it’s kind of like a possession and feels perfectly fine

I’m pretty sure any advice I have to give is not something Jay would let me say

It would be fun to have synthetic teeth, but I don’t think anyone could make teeth that actually match my true form

I came from hell to fuck around :)

(So much barking) Rocky!!!

1. Ohhh!!!! There are categories?? That’s awesome!! :D I dunno

2. I’m an Australian shepherd mix!! Not really a therian or anything, I’m just A Doggo :]

3. I don’t shift I just am ^-^

4. Uhhhh idk!!!

5. I LOVE COMMUNITIES BC I LOVE PEOPLE PEOPLE ARE THE BEST

6. Wiggling around and barking and stuff!!

7. … :D … I have never felt a bad feeling in my life!!

8. Hiiiiii I love youuuu

9. I have a collar and a tag with my name on it!!!!!!

10. Uhhhhh I exist to wiggle and bark and love people!!! ^-^

If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

The sucky thing about being plural and trans is that not everyone inside has figured out my pronouns and some still unintentionally default to feminine terms and she/her pronouns for me and some of the other guys, which just really sucks. I know one or two headmates use she/her pronouns but boy do I want the one caretaker I don’t know well to stop calling me a girl when comforting me :((