I've Been Thinking About Trauma And What May Qualify, And I'm Starting To Realize That Raising Animals
I've been thinking about trauma and what may qualify, and I'm starting to realize that raising animals probably did contribute to the trauma we have.
(tw explicit animal death/killing, general gross/gore warning)
I remember watching a family friend crack open eggs that hadn't incubated fully to hatching when I was five or younger, and she explained that it's just the way things are on a farm sometimes as I watched those soggy underdeveloped chicks lay still on the straw.
When I was older one of my goats had a stillborn kid - but it had been dead long enough to rot in the womb, and its corpse was literally falling apart as we pulled it out.
I raised a couple batches of turkeys that I loved so, so much, even though I knew we'd butcher them. I named them and carried them around and spent so much time with them they were incredibly docile. One turkey from the second batch I raised got injured - I think he broke his wing or something? - and the bigger tom that was with him was doing what turkeys do and trying to bully him to death. He was in so much pain, and while I agreed to help my parents butcher him for meat, I asked that one of them kill him because I hate killing animals. Unfortunately, mom decided to wait until later in the day when it would be more convenient to butcher him. When I found him suffering in his pen hours after I thought my parents had put him down, I got my sharpest knife and sobbed as I pinned him down and slit his throat.
I have so, so many stories like those that I am starting to acknowledge qualify as traumatic for a tenderhearted kid, but I feel like I shouldn't be traumatized by them. It's the way things are on a farm, after all. It's what happens. It's how life goes. So many of my animals died because I owned a bunch of animals for a long time and it's the way things go. Was I really not strong enough to handle it? Surely I should have been able to. Surely it's just the way things are, am I really so weak as to let those facts of the circle of life hurt me?
This is what life is. Why did it break me?
More Posts from Somebodys-somebodies and Others
the future should be plural
children should not be abused to the point of their brains physically altering itself and shattering itself to protect itself. Children should not have trauma. Children should not have to go through this. When we say the future is plural it means having a society that supports plural folks and works to make sure people have spaces to heal from trauma. No one is obsessed with traumatizing children to make new systems. Anyone who thinks that doesn't think very highly of children. Just no.
*no other system has fictives it
I always find it so interesting what skills which headmates have. Like, Lysander has been so good at using our phone despite being from some historical or fantasy world, but the first time Damian tried to use simply plural he almost threw our phone in rage because he had a ton of trouble typing. He also sent a threatening message to himself which I find hilarious, not sure if it was on purpose or if he was trying to send it to someone else (wish I knew who he had beef with lol).
What the hell is going on here??
So, I know there was a rough morning. Jackys been in and out of regression all day. So I'm trying to take care of him. But hes extra sensitive this time?? He's always really sensitive when he's little but it's worse today. He hardly even wanted to color!
And the body, this stupid thing, it feels like its been in panic this whole time. I can't get it to right itself. I've showered, eaten, gone for a walk. But I can't get the breathing to even out or the heart to slow down or to stop jumping at every little sound.
I keep trying to look at the notes about the system or ask around but I keep getting dizzy when I try or it feels like I'm bring spun to face the other way. IM JUST TRYING TO HELP??? And I asked HL about it and he just told me to "stop scrambling" myself like that gets me anywhere. NO!!! No it does not!
Fucks sake. Does anyone know what's happening or what I'm supposed to do here?? My head hurts.
-🐙
I can’t get over how good of a depiction of plurality Haru is in the anime abridged show 50% Off. Like, it’s unique, but especially for a joke show it feels so reasonable and grounded, and is really non offensive imo?? There are some jokes about murdering people and one headmate tries to kill another at one point, but it’s not an “evil alter” trope, and the way the inner world, internal conversations, and power structures are set up feel so reasonable (I don’t know exactly how things are organized for my crew, communication is pretty ass at least with me, but if we don’t have a Council of Nine sort of thing I hope we get one someday for decision making and communication). The fact that they’re all copies of the same guy is not something I have experience with but is very very silly and not unreasonable either.
i love you systems who are disordered i love you systems who are traumagenic i love you systems who are traumaendo i love you systems who are endogenic i love you systems who are spiritual
i love you systems who have no headspace i love you systems who have a blurry/wavering headspace i love you systems who have a fluctuating headspace i love you systems who have a small headspace i love you systems who have a medium headspace i love you systems who have a big headspace i love you systems who have a gigantic headspace
i love you systems with neurodivergence i love you systems with cluster a disorders i love you systems with cluster b disorders i love you systems with cluster c disorders i love you systems with physical disorders i love you systems with mental disorders i love you systems with temporary disorders i love you systems with permanent disorders i love you systems with no disorders i love you systems with one disorder i love you systems with multiple disorders i love you systems with tons of disorders
i love you systems who have no headmates yet i love you systems who have little headmates i love you systems who have average amount of headmates i love you systems who have a big amount of headmates i love you systems who have a massive amount of headmates i love you systems who have infinite headmates
i love you systems who are stereotypical i love you systems who are your average every day person i love you systems who are fakeclaimed i love you systems who aren't fakeclaimed i love you systems who are posted to reddit threads i love you systems who aren't out as a system yet
i love you systems.
Aragorn Elessar, King of the Reunited Kingdom - The Lord of the Rings
decoration i found at a thrift store
[ID: a simple black decoration with white text that reads: If you see me talking to myself, just move along... We're having a team meeting. / end ID]
"Source trauma" and "exo trauma" is real btw.
You can have trauma from something that didn't actually happen because trauma is a reaction to a distressing event, regardless of the actual event happened. Both are comparable to real trauma, so for the love of god stop acting like introjects can't be traumatized from source.
Fictional introjects can be IN their source, they can come from their source. They are no different from other alters.
They can have real experiences as being that character because they're can be that character and if they genuinely believe they do/are, that's not a bad thing and whether source separation is needed, the alter will come to their own conclusion some day.
Not super active because plural communities intimidate me (the host, Jay) but trying to be more open so I don’t suppress things Again. No clue how my system formed, but I’m definitely endo supportive.
135 posts