"Source Trauma" And "exo Trauma" Is Real Btw.

cptsd and petplay is such a magical combo. shelter dog rizz. freaky bdsm scene that only ends because a door slammed and i got frightened 🔥

wOAH WEVE HAD A TUMBLR FOR SIX MONTHS??? Yea this is definitely the longest we’ve gone without me repressing things whoops

Can't think too hard about our own plurality or we might have a mental breakdown

Like, who are we at any point? We blend so much and so easily it's not even just our default state, we're never anything else

Does who we were still exist? Did they ever? Who am I? Am "I" one of these facets? Am I a shell? Am I the remnant of who we used to be, the original, or just another headmate?

I figured out how to have sex with a couple of my headmates recently and I’m still super fascinated by it. I can’t really explain how it works, especially since I tend to be frontstuck and can barely go into the inner world, but I tend to overlap a lot with the ones who cofront, and me feeling sensations while also feeling their sensations while they were feeling my sensations was kinda insane. It’s also nice that in that level of cofronting our thoughts overlap some so we didn’t have to put things into words to discuss what we wanted, we just mutually agreed on what the dynamics were/what we were doing.

i love you systems who are disordered i love you systems who are traumagenic i love you systems who are traumaendo i love you systems who are endogenic i love you systems who are spiritual

i love you systems who have no headspace i love you systems who have a blurry/wavering headspace i love you systems who have a fluctuating headspace i love you systems who have a small headspace i love you systems who have a medium headspace i love you systems who have a big headspace i love you systems who have a gigantic headspace

i love you systems with neurodivergence i love you systems with cluster a disorders i love you systems with cluster b disorders i love you systems with cluster c disorders i love you systems with physical disorders i love you systems with mental disorders i love you systems with temporary disorders i love you systems with permanent disorders i love you systems with no disorders i love you systems with one disorder i love you systems with multiple disorders i love you systems with tons of disorders

i love you systems who have no headmates yet i love you systems who have little headmates i love you systems who have average amount of headmates i love you systems who have a big amount of headmates i love you systems who have a massive amount of headmates i love you systems who have infinite headmates

i love you systems who are stereotypical i love you systems who are your average every day person i love you systems who are fakeclaimed i love you systems who aren't fakeclaimed i love you systems who are posted to reddit threads i love you systems who aren't out as a system yet

i love you systems.

The sucky thing about being plural and trans is that not everyone inside has figured out my pronouns and some still unintentionally default to feminine terms and she/her pronouns for me and some of the other guys, which just really sucks. I know one or two headmates use she/her pronouns but boy do I want the one caretaker I don’t know well to stop calling me a girl when comforting me :((

There’s a chance our first fictive from a popular source will be Szeth son-son Vallano. Our only previous fictive is from a tiny tiny source so I need to get my feelings sorted out* before this presence I feel ends up becoming someone xP

*I just don’t know what it will be like to have a mainstream fictive, and uncertainty makes me anxious, of course I’ll treat any new headmates as well as possible

reclusive child with elaborate imagination and maladaptive daydreaming to plural teenager who doesn’t identify with thier own body anymore pipeline is unfortunatelg real

I always find it so interesting what skills which headmates have. Like, Lysander has been so good at using our phone despite being from some historical or fantasy world, but the first time Damian tried to use simply plural he almost threw our phone in rage because he had a ton of trouble typing. He also sent a threatening message to himself which I find hilarious, not sure if it was on purpose or if he was trying to send it to someone else (wish I knew who he had beef with lol).

/genq, i don't want this to be an unwelcoming place D:

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