I think a big part of the reason that I went from anti-endo to endo-safe was absolutely due to how starkly different the communities felt.
Anti-endo communities were hard to engage with. Sure, some of them would focus on their support for each other more than their hatred of endogenic systems. And that's great! However, when you are brought together by your dislike of a certain group, you can't help but feel the hate permiate into so much of it. It always happened eventually. Anti-endo communities had such a focus on systems who were "fake" that I couldn't help but worry I was one of them, no matter how much they told me it was "just endos" they were concerned about.
The endo community (at least the parts I've engaged with and were easy to find) were so kind and respected me as a system, no matter how I felt or my plurality presented. Simply knowing we could find joy in our plurality allowed us to strive for so much more than we had thought possible before.
As a traumagenic system, we've improved so much with our symptoms and communication as a result of the positivity and acceptance we recieved. When we joined communities where we could be authenticallly ourselves (no matter what), we came together and faced so much less conflict between each other. And the conficts we did have, we realized that we could solve them together rather than alone.
When you are constantly doubting if you are "actually a system", you start to push the others away, and that made our dissociation and amnesia so much worse. I understand being careful of self-misdiangnosis, it can put you on the wrong path for how you learn to manage your symptoms. At the same time, the sentiment I often heard from endogenic systems when I was struggling with doubt and denial was very simple: "So what if you're not a system?" In short, it was okay to be wrong.
And that was huge for me. I realized that, no matter if I was a system or not, the techniques I used to improve ourselves and communicate with one another beneficial to me. At the end of the day, even if I wasn't a system after all, the skills I had found we invaluble to my health and well-being. So when I fall into denial spirals, no matter what I think about myself, I now know that I don't need to deprive myself of what has helped me, even if it is a "system thing." I don't feel scared to use these skills anymore (even in denial spirals), beacuse the line between what systems and non-systems or singlets can/can't do suddenly wasn't a big deal or a battle of "who can do what."
Our plurality is no longer a burden or a scar to us. It is simply who we are. We've learned so much about each other and ourselves since we've been accepted in full, and since we've learned to accept others. Endogenic communities have helped us (a traumagenic system) probably more than they'll ever know, and we're forever grateful for that.
So thank you, endogenic systems.
🛰-Do you have a large headcount?
👾-Do any alters in your system have typing quirks?
🚀-Does your system have any Non-human alters?
☄️-Is your system neurodivergent?
🔭-Does your system use neo Pronouns?
🌠-Do any of the alters in your system have dyed hair?
🌙-Are there any nonverbal alters in your system?
🪐-Does your system have Angry or "dangerous" persecutors?
💫-Do your littles use 'little-speech?'
🌌-Does your system have little to no amnesia between switches?
🌟-Does your system have fairly clear communication?
🌘-Do you have a large or complex headspace?
🛸-Do any alters in your system have exo-memories?
👽Does your system have any tics?
☀️-is your system bad at masking?
✨️-Do any alters in your system have an accent?
🌎-Do any alters in your system speak in a different language?
☁️-Does your system use things like pluralkit and simply plural?
⭐️-are you out about being a system?
The sucky thing about being plural and trans is that not everyone inside has figured out my pronouns and some still unintentionally default to feminine terms and she/her pronouns for me and some of the other guys, which just really sucks. I know one or two headmates use she/her pronouns but boy do I want the one caretaker I don’t know well to stop calling me a girl when comforting me :((
Shout out to all the kids who always picked shape-shifting as their hypothetical power growing up and assumed it was for gender affirmation but now realize it was also a plurality thing.
I wanted a bio, so I'm making a bio.
Name: Travis Role: Council member, (mostly) ex-persecutor Pronouns: he/him
I'm the resident black magic enthusiast, and I've got a "mad scientist vibe going on." My job as a persecutor was to keep us from relying on anyone by manipulating the host away from people. These days I mostly keep an eye on the other "darker" system members.
I like silk shirts, dramatic aesthetics, spooky music, and gold jewelry.
wOAH WEVE HAD A TUMBLR FOR SIX MONTHS??? Yea this is definitely the longest we’ve gone without me repressing things whoops
cracks knuckles ok can we stop acting like alters who stand up for themselves and/or the system are persecutors? can we stop acting like blunt headmates are persecutors? can we stop acting like generally aggressive headmates are persecutors? can we stop acting like headmates that aren't afraid to protect themselves and/or the system are persecutors, even if they go "overboard"? can we stop acting like headmates with social issues and take a while to warm up to new people are persecutors? can we stop demonizing persecutors? can we start listening when headmates say they aren't persecutors or don't want to be referred to in that way? can we be normal about persecutors?
I would recommend just taking your time. You have a lifetime to figure things out, and from my experience the faster you try to learn about your system/get to know your headmates the more likely you are to have a denial phase. I used to cycle really badly between denial and trying to accept my system, and I only started making progress when I got to a point where I accepted that my little brain guys are around, but I don’t need to figure everything out immediately. Slowly easing into getting to know everyone and listen to them has worked really well for me, but if you find a better way by all means take it :)
guys i set up a simply plural what do i do now
also update: i havent gotten anyone to front yet other than that night
also i can hear my headmates (i think) but it feels like im just imagining them saying things instead of them actually saying things
Not super active because plural communities intimidate me (the host, Jay) but trying to be more open so I don’t suppress things Again. No clue how my system formed, but I’m definitely endo supportive.
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