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@is-this-plural

*no other system has fictives it

system role the sleeper. guy that sleeps. creature that honk shoo honk shoo

For me communication got easier when I stopped being so paranoid about whether I was faking or not, but if that doesn’t apply to you, disregard.

If possible, find a headmate you like who gives you permission to use positive triggers to pull to front sometimes (though discuss boundaries around when and how that’s done), and focus on communication with that one specific headmate. That’s how I became friends with Shekel - he has an incredibly vivid presence, so I can really tell when he’s nearby/co-con/fronting, and I’ve learned how to positive trigger him forward. I don’t do it often, because he’s busy on the inside and gets tired when too close to front for too long, but he told me that he’d rather me pull him to front than put the body through a panic attack, so I tend to reach out to him first. Once you learn good communication with one you can both work on communication with others.

I don’t know if you can hear your headmates on the inside, but if you can, try talking with them about things they like when they’re around - they’ll be more likely to have a genuine conversation that way in my experience, and it’ll open up communication.

I also recommend physical touch on the inside if that’s something you’re capable of and comfortable with. 90% of my interactions with the others are them coming up behind me when I’m fronting and ruffling my hair, rubbing my shoulders, slapping my ass, hugging me, etc because they know it helps comfort me and keep me calm. We find that the more we can touch in headspace the more we can communicate by… handing each other thoughts? It’s hard to explain, and it is different from communicating on the inside with words, but when Shekel and I were building the Council and debating who should be on it we were so co-conscious and overlapped on the inside it almost felt like we were having two trains of thought but we kept using our brains and each other’s to think with. I couldn’t tell if he was having a thought with my brain or if I was having a thought with his brain, but we were having ideas and discussing them without needing to say a word.

Lastly, written conversations are super helpful, but I’ve found some tricks. When co-con I like to still use discord or simply plural to write out a chat partially for posterity and partially because it’s easier to think when you’re not trying to think into someone’s brain. It really helps communication, but it can be hard to have a genuine conversation, especially if you don’t know each other well. It’s helpful to leave messages around for other headmates (ie a sticky note that says “you are safe” for any headmates that find themselves in front and are confused, or writing your shopping/to-do list on the body’s arm so everyone knows what’s supposed to be happening if they end up in front) but it’s hard to communicate through notes alone from our experience. That’s why I like to try and get them talking about themselves and their interests, it’s just a deeper bonding activity. We’re trying to pair our known headmates up into ones that specifically practice communicating with each other to better improve group cohesion, and I saw that Tamm was asking Lysander about his exomemories. They’ve never spoken directly that I know of, but they’re going to leave each other messages on simply plural until they become friends enough to communicate on the inside/more directly, and then if I want to talk to Lysander I can reach out to Tamm, who I tend to see more often.

Sorry this is so long, but good luck with communication and I hope this helps some! As always feel free to ignore any advice that doesn’t apply to or help you.

-Jay

Need to start working on getting better communication with the other's cause I'm getting anxious about not being able to have a full conversation with them and having a hard time contacting them.

I don't quite know where to start so any advice would be nice :)

Plural POV #68

Striving for minimalism, and therefore striving to have the least amount of clothes possible, amongst other things, is incredibly difficult when you need to accommodate all of your headmates preferring skirts, and those who prefer jeans, and those who have sensory problems with formal shirts, and those who love formal shirts, and those who need tight clothing, and those who need loose clothing, and those who accessorise every outfit with everything they've got, and those who-

making some simply plural custom fields because all the ones i& find are exclusionist.

names ,, nicknames ,, petnames ,, pronouns ,, terms ,,

age ,, maturity ,, birthday ,, formation ,,

species ,, appearance ,, alterhumanity ,, kins ,,

gender ,, romantic orientation ,, sexual orientation ,, mogai labels ,, amory (poly, mono, etc) ,,

languages ,, verbality ,, scribality ,, typing quirks ,,

roles ,, type (fully formed, frag, etc) ,, proxy ,, front frequency ,, clinical type (anp, ep, etc) ,, community type (host, protector, etc) ,, subsys ,, source ,, source connection ,,

dni ,, likes ,, dislikes ,, interaction status (oti, iwc, etc) ,,

front triggers (i& advise not to share these) ,, trauma responses (i& advise not to share these) ,, insys relationships ,, out of sys relationships ,,

hobbies ,, religious beliefs ,, mbti ,,

Anyone have headmates who just sit in co-con with a song playing in their head that everyone can hear? Like audibly? Because its become a running joke to play effectively elevator music while nothing is happening with the body. Other headmates will play an alarm sound when it's time to wake up. Is this just an us thing? Being able to project semi-audible sound clips to front? Its kinda fun but sometimes I just Hear Something and I go "the hell was- oh its you" and it makes me giggle. Anyone?

You’re welcome, glad I could be of help!

Need to start working on getting better communication with the other's cause I'm getting anxious about not being able to have a full conversation with them and having a hard time contacting them.

I don't quite know where to start so any advice would be nice :)

a reminder that the host isn’t the only person in the system who should be respected and made to feel comfortable.

the host is not ‘the important part’, we are all completely conscious and capable of our own thoughts, feelings and our own boundaries. our brain created us because it decided that we are all important and needed.

the host is not the only member of a system you should care about.

Note: this includes "Cores" or "The Original"

I just heard someone go "Oh yeah Onyx is a cool name" after seeing the name... It didn't sound like a familiar voice... Uh oh

There's a high chance it might've just been some guy we already know but-

We'll see