I Created A New Person For You But As Much As I Created It Wasn't Enough For You.

fallen for the moon

I used to adore the night fill my soul, fill my heart with the soft cold light of the moons shining tears and drink them until I am nothing but a dream drunk demon in love with the fading promise of an everlasting love between the moon and me connected with those nighttime wanderers which bear the same fate searching her light   even when she is fading waxing, full and new holding on to something I am way too small for

I am drowning in the ocean of time and space Lost myself in the gab of ending and beginning I will remain here sit and swallow my anxiety  shivering from the unpleasant unknown of what is coming next  I have to learn to swim

let's meet inside of your mind I want to fight the demons which haunt you at night let me become a part of you like you've become a part of me I bet your soul is soft and sweet like honey when it touches your lips I would stroke it tenderly until I start to understand the universe it carries inside

and even after you are gone and we leave what we called perfect I'll still know the feeling of you the softness and beauty and where your secret parts are buried like a treasure I'll still know you and remember the better part of me will always be you

It is insane how intense I feel  your skin on mine even after you left I feel your hands which grab me tight and close  like it wasn't your phantom which drives his fingers over my body 

How all the water in the world isn’t enough to clean my skin from your touches which imprinted on my body and cover me with paintings I could never draw on my own

empty faces

It is another kind of heartbreak to realize that I still haven’t found the soul I am searching for in the person, I hoped so much would reflect my perception of perfection after spending so much time searching in empty faces and beliving that this one has a heart that would mirror my own Just to see they are just another empty face in the crowd of lost lovers I got lost in as well Only this time I painted their face so it is easier to pretend and hold onto something that isn’t even there It is so tiring to search without finding or find without keeping because even if they leave it wouldn’t be their missing that would hurt but knowing that nothing has changed I am still on my journey through empty faces until finding the other wanderer who searches for a face in so much emptiness as well

Go on, my love let's change our sheets let the dull whiteness reinvent our desire

Let's move, my love find a new house to call it home and ignore the empty space we can’t fill on our own

Let's go, my love what do you try to say? you would rather leave then to stay forever the same?

respect is not love and not a quality to fall for it’s a simple thing an act of human decency so don’t fool yourself by thinking they are the one only because they are human and know how to act like one

I don’t want to be your    drunk text romance. I don’t want to hear your    confession of love at 1 a.m    when you are drunk   and lost in your feelings of    loneliness and desperation. I don’t want to be loved   the way you love me    whenever you feel like it. I don’t want to be loved because   you want to love someone    and I am the only one around. I want to be loved    because you love me   not because you think you do. 

a name

There is a fragile beauty  in the way you are gone There is an absurd pleasure in the way you left There is a broken soul who used to find peace  with you And there is an empty voice which used to sing your name like a song to the stars

It is funny how things change How your name lies strangely on the tip of my tongue  How I absorb every single letter to find the hidden secret to why your name was so familiar once like a soulmate to mine but now fades away with your face and the peace it promised 

But I can’t stop I can’t stop repeating your name every night like a goodnight story  to scare the ghosts inside my chest and your spirit which stayed and still dances under the moonlight I still scream your name in my head until it feels like you again

Honey

Honey, you want to heal? forget the ugly words and the things he did how he blew out the candle  and you found yourself lost as the light faded away

Honey, you want to move on? Let go of the past  and the “I love you”s you shared Take back the person you gifted the time you shared Take back everything you don’t want him to keep

Honey, you want to live again? Leave the sadness you found after love and start all over again Find love in yourself and the things you enjoyed  Make room in your mind by throwing him out Find comfort in being alone

Honey, is that what you want? Healing, moving on and living? Because the truth is, it’s all in your hands but you rather remain in your situation Do you fear that the pain it takes to let it go would be more hurting than the pain you are currently in?

Honey, you won’t heal by  rereading and relistening old text messages and voice mails You won’t move on by  asking the universe for a call from him You won’t live again by reliving the memories you saved in your mind

You won’t find yourself by searching him

Honey, stop it,  Stop procrastinating on the future  Stop hurting yourself with the past  Don’t throw yourself away  It’s your love where you will find yourself again Not his

It’s you where you will gain the power from to heal move on  and live again