Ocean: Hey Mischa, Can I Have Some Dating Advice?

Mischa: I don’t mean to be homophobic or anything, but the LGBTQ+ community…kinda gay.

Ocean: Mischa you are literally dating a man! (Noel)

Mischa: I’m just sayin!

I’m going to be changing my username from ‘yourfriendlyneighbourhoodvampire’ to ‘thegoblinking06’ so just so you don’t think ur following a random person, it is in fact me.

Dustin: I made a marshmallow Steve! Look his arms are crossed because he’s mad at Robin for messing with his hair! Do you like it?

Steve, holding back tears: I-it’s fine.

Steve: FOUR MONTHS!!!

Nancy: What’s he on about?

Robin: Oh nothing.

Steve: You sat back and watched while I watered a fake plant, for FOUR MONTHS!!!!!!!

Eddie: I hate physical touch and any signs of affection. It’s just gross and unnecessary.

Robin: You’re literally sitting in Steve’s lap.

Eddie: That’s…irrelevant.

Steve: Robin’s gone on a trip for band which means I’m gonna donate half my wardrobe, try to cook something and most likely set the kitchen on fire, do my nails and give myself a haircut.

Nancy, extremely concerned: Why?

Steve: Robin is like 98% of my will power.

Steve: Do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Nancy: you’re a hazard to society.

Robin: And a coward.

Eddie: Do 20!

(Steve’s passed out again)

Dustin: We gotta get him to a hospital now!

Max: Then I should drive

Mike: Why you?

Max: Because I have nothing to live for and I drive like it.

(Cut to)

Everyone, including a now awake Steve: *SCREAMING*

Me, an asexual: I lied, I actually don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. Now, I’m going to explain the entire plot of Stranger Things to you.