Nancy: I’ve Been Dropping The Most Insanely Obvious Hints For Months, Nothing.

Dustin: Ok, thanks dads.

Everyone: …

Dustin: Why’s everyone staring at me?

Robin: You just called Steve and Eddie your dads. You said, “Thanks dads”.

Dustin: What no I didn’t, I said thanks guys.

Steve: Do you see us as father figures Henderson?

Dustin: No! If anything I see you both as bother figures cause you’re always bothering me!

Nancy: Hey! Show your dads some respect!

Dustin: I didn’t call them my dads!

Eddie: No, no, no, Dustin, we take it as a compliment.

Mike: It’s not a big deal, one time I called El “Will”.

Dustin: Guys! Jump on that! Mike’s madly in love with will but still dating El!

Max: Old news! But you calling Steve and Eddie your daddy’s-

Dustin: Hey! Daddy is not on the table here!

Lucas: But you did call them your dads dude.

Dustin: You shut up! You’ve done nothing but lie since you got here!

Lucas: Ok I’ll admit, I stole your DnD book, but the dad thing? That happened.

Dustin: AHAH! Lucas admitted to stealing my DnD book! It was a trap! All a part of my crazy, devious plan.

Steve: We believe you.

Dustin: Thank you.

Eddie: Son, would you like to talk about it later over a, game of catch?

Dustin: …I’d like that.

Ok but if this isn’t a scene in season 4 Vol. 2 I’m suing.

Robin: *runs at full speed towards Steve* *grabs him by his shirt* *throws him against a wall*

SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE A FUCKING GUN????

Steve: what?? Who? What is happening? Did the Russians get to you????

Robin: wha- no! Nancy ya dingus!!

Steve: what about her???

Robin: HAVE YOU SEEN HER USE A GUN?? SHE COULD KILL AN ANT FROM A MILE AWAY!!! AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT TELLING ME???

Steve: okay first of all, wasn't she "a priss"? Second of all, HOW IS ANY OF THIS RELEVANT?

Robin: IT'S RELEVANT BECAUSE IT'S THE HOTTEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN

Steve: oh my god.

Mischa and Jane Doe/Penny listen to heavy metal together. That’s it. That’s the post.

Constance: Hey let me see what you have

Jane/Penny: A KNIFE!

Constance and Mischa in sync: NO!!!

Ocean: Omg, why does she have a knife???

Nancy: So, who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Robin: I did, I bro-

Nancy: No. No you didn’t. Eddie?

Eddie, messing with Steve: Don’t look at me, look at Steve

Steve: What? I didn’t break it.

Eddie: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Steve: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Dustin, also messing with Steve: Suspicious.

Steve: No it’s not!

Lucas: If it matters, probably not but, Erica was the last one to use it.

Erica: Liar I don’t even drink that crap!

Lucas: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Erica: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that LUCAS!

Robin: Ok, ok, let’s not fight! I broke it! Let me pay for it Nance.

Nancy: No. Who broke it?

Dustin: Nancy…Max has been awfully quiet.

Max: Really?!?

Dustin: yeah really!

Max: Oh my god!

(Arguing in the background)

Nancy: I broke it. It burnt my hand so I punched it.

Robin: *Staring off into space*

Nancy: You good robs?

Robin: *Still staring into the abyss* Lasagna is just Spaghetti flavoured cake…

Nancy: *Extremely concerned but also question human existence* Ok what the fu-

I feel like if Grace Chasity got over her prudishness she’d totally vibe with Ethel Cain

I made a moss jar....that is all.

Steve: Hey are you free on Saturday, 7pm?

Robin: Yeah.

Steve: Cool, how about you?

Nancy: Yes.

Steve: Sweet. I’m not, but you two have fun!

Robin: Did he just-