Hi, I Actually Had A Tumblr Account Before This One By The Same Name Yourfriendlyneibourhoodvampire But

Robin: Bad news, Steve forgot his keys and we where all locked out of the house. Good news I knew how to pick the lock! Bad news now Steve is concerned why I know how to pick locks, Eddie and the kids where pretty impressed though, I didn’t have the heart to tell them I learned how to pick locks when I was fifteen because I thought it would impress pretty girls. Good news a pretty girl saw me do it! Bad news, it was Nancy, and she’s already seen me trip over my own feet multiple times and burst into tears when a baby deer was just a little bit TOO cute…it’s too late…she already knows.

Steph: *carrying all the groceries*

Pete: *reaches out to help*

Steph: *switches all the groceries to one arm to hold his hand*

Pete: That’s not what I- ok.

Me, an asexual: I lied, I actually don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. Now, I’m going to explain the entire plot of Stranger Things to you.

I feel like if Grace Chasity got over her prudishness she’d totally vibe with Ethel Cain

Ima tell my kids this was the last supper.

Robin: *rolls over in her sleep and knees Nancy in the ribs*

Nancy: Ow! You kneed me

Robin, still asleep: Yeah, I do need you…

Nancy, holding back tears: Ok…

Robin: Hey Nance, I really like you. Do you like me too?

Nancy: *literally holding her hand* Rob we’ve been dating for almost a year now.

Robin: I know, but do you like me-

Robin: Are you okay?

Steve: Yes

Robin: Are you hurt?

Steve: Yes

Robin, slapping him: Then what the fück where you thinking dingus!?!?

Steve, trying to flirt: No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

Eddie: …My eyes are brown.

Robin: *avoiding eye contact*

Steve: *sighs* What is it Rob?

Robin: I-I made you a friendship bracelet…

Steve: Oh, I don’t know if I’m really a jewellery person Robs.

Robin: You don’t have to wear it-

Steve: *snatches it out of Robin’s hand and aggressively puts it on* What? No. I’m gonna wear it forever, back off!!!