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1 month ago

The Pirate King of the North

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

Sanji-centric AU from a reality where Reiju didn't have emotions.

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language and explicit content.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 (Special) | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

Young Zoro hates the fucker but those scars and piercings are doing a number to his soul.

Old Sanji's story goes like this:

He didn't experience compassion from anyone else aside from his mother, who--you know what happened.

Judge kept him locked away until he was 13. He had him released when he was deemed too broken to do anything, and he was apparently a waste of space. As far as the world was concerned, he was already dead. He gets left behind at some random pirate town in the North.

His swirly brows were recognized by the pirates who took him in--only for him to be enslaved because people would pay a lot to have their way with royalty.

He picked up some skills from the other slaves and became cunning af--because he had to be.

At 17 he started a revolt against the slaver pirates, effectively taking over as their new pirate captain.

He became the feared "Mr. Prince" and his words are as sharp as his bite.

He's underweight because he doesn't give two shits about good food.

"The All Blue? It's nothing but an old fishwive's tale," he says.

He used his cunning mind and new pirate crew to hunt down and kill his own father from the shadows.

He enslaved his own siblings and becomes the new ruler of Germa Kingdom. Over the years, he used them for warfare and expanded the territory of the North.

His heart is a bottomless pit for power and control.

He had a fling or two or several with is closely allied with Doflamingo because god damn they're both mad like that. The alliance eventually lead to direct connections with Celestial Dragons.

Sanji gains more power and becomes the notorious "Pirate King of the North"

Meanwhile at the other side of the world, Luffy didn't make it as far as he could have without a good cook.

Luffy would have recruited one from Baratie but the restaurant was absolutely destroyed before the smaller Straw Hat crew could make a difference. Some of the staff didn't make it.

Zoro left the crew when it fell apart at some point.

Due to Zoro's reputation and bounty that he had occurred during his limited time with Luffy, he was offered a position as a Warlord, ultimately taking over the late Jinbe's old role. He accepted and served for several years before he was assigned a job that he didn't know would be the most challenging one yet.

The Celestial Dragons didn't like the fact that Sanji had started to have more worldly control over their own, so Zoro was quietly assigned to hunt down the great Pirate King of the North. Zoro accepted because he felt that he needed more experience before he could take on Mihawk again.

Zoro quickly realised that this mission is not a walk in the park.

Sanji loves toying with the Demon Warlord so he insists on taking him on by himself.

It becomes an endless game of cat and mouse. Sometimes Sanji chases and sometimes he runs, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses.

They're at each others' throats everywhere in the world. Any person, city or being of any kind that gets in the way usually gets torn apart in the chaos. The hunt goes on for a lifetime. They're currently in their 40's.

Zoro severs Sanji's left arm during one huge fight.

Because of this, Sanji relentlessly tries to get Zoro to marry him to use him in so many ways he can think of--both as an asset and under the sheets--oh the things that he wants the swordsman to do and beg for.

Sanji likes to refer to the tiniest scar on his lip as "Zoro's love bite"

He was about to get a nice fresh one on his chest when some fuckers teleported him away.

Hearing old Sanji's backstory was a bit much. It was young Zoro's turn to have a nosebleed that day.

----------

Oh yes I had fun drawing old silver fox, damaged Sanji. I wish I have the time to colour it up. I've also been very much into reading AU stories, especially soul brand ones. Keep them coming, you beautiful people.

Edit: Woo! I finally decided to make my own AO3 account. It's about time. Link here for the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60686077

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1 month ago

Zosan Germa Prince au Masterlist

Where Sanji grew up in Germa, things changed and now he must face the fate he has always been avoiding, boarding the Thousand Sunny as bait to take down Vinsmoke Judge once and for all.

Comic comissions

Parte 1

Parte 2

Parte 3

Parte 4

Parte 5

Parte 6

Parte 7

Parte 8

Parte 9 + Parte 9 (2/2)

Parte 10

Parte 11

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1 month ago

Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman

so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

an ad from an old magazine. there's a horrifying gelatin cabbage snowman in the middle with green olives slices for eyes, wearing a bell pepper hat and smoking a carrot pipe. the ad says "welcome new man in your life! Frosty Slaw Man with that Hellmann's touch. this is no place for second best...this is the place for Hellmann's...real mayonnaise."

the recipe for said snowman is written out underneath (but we'll get to that later)

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.

but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!

and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking

(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.

but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)

so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!

an ebay listing for the page containing the hellmann's ad, listed for $12.99 or best offer. the listing is titled "1963 Vacation In Adirondack Mountains / Hellmann's Snowman - Vintage Print Ad" (because on the other side of the magazine page, there's an ad for the adirondack mountains)

lookit that guy! he's a real guy!

both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

an almost identical copy of the slaw man ad, but instead of saying hellmann's, all of the labels say Best Foods.

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast

the more you know!

anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:

when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.

the slaw man recipe:

Best Foods Frosty Slaw Man Salad ...surprisingly easy to make. Serves 12 hungry people.

6 envelopes plain gelatin
3/4 cup cold water
3 cups Best Foods Real Mayonnaise
3 teaspoons salt
3 lbs cottage cheese, cream style
2 medium heads cabbage, grated or finely chopped, making 12 cups.

Soften gelatin in cold water; stir over hot water till dissolved. Mix with Best Foods Real Mayonnaise, salt, cottage cheese. Fold in grated cabbage.

For Head - Pack salad into 1lb. cottage cheese carton. Chill until firm.

For Body - Pack salad into two 6 cup bowls. Chill until firm. (Or use one bowl...turn out when firm...then refill.)

To Form Snowman - Unmold one bowl on platter, rounded side down. Top with salad from second bowl, rounded side up. (Two flat sides meet, forming a ball.)

Unmold head; set on body. Make carrot pipe, green or red pepper hat, sliced olive eyes and buttons, tiny tomato nose, cucumber or carrot stick broom and parsley scarf.

For a larger group, make additional slaw - pack into cake pan; use as base.

when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!

(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)

for now: we begin

so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.

two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.

so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:

2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

a photo of my kitchen table, upon which reside one head of cabbage, one box of gelatin packets, one jar of mayo, and one tub of cottage cheese.

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man

...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

a pic of a pink mixing bowl full of grated cabbage

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that

photo of gelatin powder mixed with cold water in a bowl - some sort of semi-clear sludge, really.

photo of that same gelatin melted down, now liquid, a layer of white foam over the top.

hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky

okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.

so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"

I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!

(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)

photo of an immersion blender sticking out of a bowl of cottage cheese

pic of the cottage cheese, which is all smooth and creamy now! it looks closer to sour cream

mmm, yes. very smooth

...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!

a new discovery is made every day in this house.

okay, time to start mixing things together.

pic of a spoonful of mayo, ominously close to the camera. I am offering you a taste. you should refuse it.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?

(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)

pic of the gelatin mixture with mayo and cottage cheese added

oh...the mixture is...chunky now. that's not a good sign. hmm

okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.

lastly: the cabbage

a pic of a large pink mixing bowl (unrelated to the other one), which contains the completed slaw mixture. it's an off-white lumpy mess with green bits visible throughout.

it is. not appetizing.

oh. oh this is not very nice

next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

a metal bowl, lined with plastic wrap, filled with the slaw mix. this is entirely too much slaw.

ah. this bowl is too big.

hey, these'll work!

two orange bowls, lined with plastic wrap, filled with the slaw. the plastic wrap has been twisted to help the slaw stay in the bowls in a round shape.

don't worry about how messy the fridge is! I share this fridge with others, and get exactly half of a shelf to myself, so chaos is a common occurrence.

ah man, I remember that swiss cheese though. that was a good swiss cheese. I should get more sometime

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.

(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!

Knuckles (a striped, brown-and-white kittycat) is trying so hard to be friends with Jackie, a smol white-and-orange kitten who is hiding under a half-open dishwasher door. she looks frightened about this.

a similar picture, but Jackie is looking at the floor instead of at Knuckles

Knuckles and Jackie standing on either side of a kitchen doorway, Knuckles looking neutral and Jackie looking mildly afraid

look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)

hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

the orange bowls have been rescued from the fridge. the slaw looks nice and round

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

pic of a cutting board with carrots and olives and stuff that I've been cutting into various Shapes to decorate the man with

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!

let's build our boy

a photo where one of the slaw balls (yes I am calling them that) (don't worry about it) is perched precariously on top of the other, held in place with a skewer.

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly

no no no he almost fell over!!

okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.

and...okay. he is complete.

behold!

it's the slaw man!! he's white in color, has eyes made out of black olive halves, a cherry tomato nose, and a slice of red pepper for his mouth. he's smoking a carrot pipe, holding a carrot broom, and has carrot arms.

he has a shirt collar of yellow pepper, buttons of green olive slices, and a sort of uhhh jester hat? idk. made out of orange and red pepper pieces.

gaze upon my beautiful man!

(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)

now it's time to stab him

photo of the crime: me stabbing the back of the man, to remove a chunk of his horrifying cabbage-gelatin flesh.

and...to devour him

a photo of a plate containing some man slaw, from the slaw man. it's green and white and lumpy. it does not look good.

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.

and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.

it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.

...I don't like this!

and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(

a photo of the man: he has fallen :( he lies supine on the plate, his torso split open and tearing apart. his smile is unchanged. he does not mourn his own demise.

a side view of the fallen hero. he died as he lived: tasting unpleasant and looking like a creature from a horror movie. but still, for just a moment...he was mine. and I loved him.

RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.

(note from current!me: I could not.

I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.

after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.

do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?

bad. the answer is: bad.

I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.

do not try this recipe at home)

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1 month ago

gotta pay back nami's debt somehow

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2 months ago

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2 months ago

GREETINGS EVERYONE!!! I've spent the last couple of months working on a full length comic adaption of @goodlucktai's beautiful 'fishbowl' fanfic!!! Below you can read the fruits of my efforts :) Enjoy!

This comic takes place before Dressrosa

CONTINUE >>>

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2 months ago

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

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2 months ago

just cleansing my energy<3

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3 months ago

Zoro just wanted to do smth for Sanji and it worked TOO WELL

I swear i was gonna make an elaborate valentines post and everything but then i forgot in favor of making THIS tomfoolery

Happy Valentine’s Day 💖🌹

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3 months ago

NEW POST CONTINUING THIS THREAD Of This Stupid AU Thing

NEW POST CONTINUING THIS THREAD of this stupid AU thing

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3 months ago

“A Chef’s Knife Is Not A Katana” - A Slice-of-life Comic Between Sanji And Zoro About Blades, Trust,

“A chef’s knife is not a katana” - a slice-of-life comic between Sanji and Zoro about blades, trust, and desire to eat nashi pear 🍐

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4 months ago

Zoro and Sanji are sitting in front of the Thousand Sunny's galley door. They both have sacks in their heads. Sanji has two sets of rope around his torso, binding his arms to his back, while Zoro has three. Sanji has more three sets of rope binding his knees to his chest. They both look a little disheveled.
Sanji says: Get off me!!
Zoro says: You get off!!

#1 panel: Sanji has the sack taken off his head by Chopper's paw. He looks angry and asks "what is going on here!?"
#2 panel: Zoro also has his sack taken off his head by Usopp's hand. He also looks angry and says: why would
you put a sack on my head-"
#3 panel: zoro and sanji are both in a chibi state, looking shocked, while asking "eh?".
#4 panel: very big panel, taking 2/3 of the page. It shows the Sunny's galley, where we can see, in the foreground, Usopp crouching next to Chopper, both with their arms crossed and "bad boy" poses, while, in the middle ground, we see Franky and Luffy at the left, in the kitchen area. Luffy is sitting atop the counters, while Franky is sitting on the circular bench in front of them. They seem happy. In the right side, on the sofa, Robin and Brook are sitting comfortably, also smiling at zoro and sanji. In the background, we see Nami leaning against the wall, on the opposite side of the room. Beside her, there is a big white board. Facing the board, there is a den den mushi on top of a little stool. The den den mushi has its eyes closed and has a button on top of its shell.

#1 panel: Zoro and Sanji are looking to the side, avoiding the crew's eyes while pouching. Sanji asks: "...is this
about the broken railing?", to what Franky says "...what broken railing?". Zoro asks: "then, is this about the broken window...?", to what Franky says: "what broken window?!".
#2 panel: A hand clicks the button on top of the den den mushi while Nami says, offscreen: "No, boys. This is about
something else entirely."
#3 panel: The den den starts trembling, humming, like a machine starting. Nami continues: "we gathered
you here to talk about..."
#4 panel: the den den opens its eyes and seems to be projecting something into the board.
#5 panel: the biggest panel. Nami completes "...your relationship". She is standing beside the board, gesturing at it, that now displays "is zosan real? a presentation made by nami and the others". At the bottom of the page, there is the drawing of the den den mushi, that now is called "den den point" with this explanation: the den den point is a visual den den mushi that scans photos and projects them. it has a button that goes to the next image on top. made by usopp."

#1 panel: Zoro and Sanji are once again chibis, now with mouths open, eyes vacant, shocked. "What", they ask in unison.
#2 panel: Nami is speaking at the foreground, while Usopp is nodding in the background. She says: "You see, whatever
you two have going on has been affecting our crew (and my finances), so we’re making an intervention."
#3 panel: They switch places, with now Usopp in the foreground while Nami nods in the backgeround. He says: "and before you say "you’re making this up", i’ll have you
know everyone has been collecting evidence that zosan is real.".
#4 and #5 panel: closeup of zoro, then sanji annoyed faces. Zoro asks: "what is a zosan?" while sanji asks "why isn't it "sanzo"?"

Happy new year!! I decided to start this year posting some art around here, made for #zosanclubsecretsanta2024

This is my piece for pyrosengineer (on x)!

I'll be posting it every other day if it all goes accordingly. It's my first comic ever, so let me know what you think!!

Read left to right! (4/30)

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4 months ago

technoSCREAM

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5 months ago

ALL MY FORMULA 1 AU ARTS

A thread 🧵

Zosan for the start

S: they’ve changed the regulations concerning the air boxes and the wings. And still, you and Luffy are the fastest this week. How do we do it?

Z: we have big balls.

S: … no wonder …

Zoro and Luffy win

“And here are our first and second pole positions celebrating their FIRST WIN in this season! Monkey D. Luffy and Roronoa Zoro! What a beautiful combination of strength and talent they showed us in the last three days!”