Say It With Me: I Owe It To Myself To See How Good It Can Get.

I’m always shocked when girls turn down the opportunity to have American vacations. I love a short flight and a good stateside stay because then I’m able to start enjoying myself immediately instead of trying to fight off jet lag or figure out a new country.

being multidimensional is protective. a boy breaks my heart but my friends take me out for ice cream. I don’t get into my dream school but I get my first comment on my YouTube video. I burn the brussels sprouts but I nail the cinnamon buns. the more pieces I add to my foundation the less I am shaken by the earthquake

Macy’s To-Do List.

Lighten my hair down to champagne blonde. 

Install my 22 inch custom hair extensions. 

Get up to 2.5mL of lip filler, currently at 1.5mL. 

Start wearing my boob job recovery bra again. 

Lose 20 pounds and focus on doing pilates. 

Find a good fake tan color for the summer. 

Start doing my lashes, nails, and brows weekly. 

Switch over from glasses to contact lenses. 

Biweekly facials and lymphatic drainage massages. 

Sauna and steam room to start off each day. 

Invest in higher end clothes and quality makeup. 

Do a big throw out of everything I’ve outgrown. 

Finish up by 9-1-2025

Universe, please keep me soft, but hard to fool. Surround me with energy that pours back into me. Expose what’s not real. Elevate what is. And when I forget who I am, bring me home.

Things you look for in men?

Put together (usually subtle designer), good haircuts and neat nails, expensive aesthetic dental and vision care, a high quality/rigorous educational background, a pricey hobby or two, a network of personal and professional connections that would boggle the mind of an average person, a good family name (no matter how small), experience traveling, good manners and a mild temperament, a set career path with a reasonable backup plan, little to no debt, and good mental health.

what a privilege it is to become the person you used to pray to be

More ways you found your style?

I get my hair inspiration from HairbyFlisan. I wanted a really specific blonde color with a Scandinavian hairline, a seamless blend, and a custom row of extensions to make my hair look thicker. I didn’t want platinum or anything harsh; I wanted a gentle shift towards softness and an effortless blonde that would match my skin tone.

I usually do a matching French manicure and pedicure. I start with intensive nail preparation and make sure that my cuticles are removed and my natural nails have been prepped and prepared nicely. What I want is an elongated nail bed, a hidden natural nail free edge, gently rounded nails, a shorter smile line, a double layer of clear gel topcoat, and a soft pink base with a classic white smile line.

I tan, but I never, ever use tanning beds. I spray tan, and that’s enough for me. I like a neutral tan, not too dark or not too light; I like a full coverage and clean look, and the tan I use has to work for my style. I actually go to a bridal spray tan specialist for this; she’s not too expensive, and she’s very talented. She knows how to work with an olive undertone, and I love the way she’s able to blend the product into my skin.

My teeth were a major investment for me. I got a job at a dental office when I was 18, and over the past four years, I’ve been on a whole journey. I had braces for two years and had my wisdom teeth extracted; then I did professional Zoom whitening to get my teeth to the even white color I wanted, and I finished up with composite bonding and gum contouring. It was an ordeal to get where I am, and maintaining my smile is of the utmost importance to me now.

I apply my makeup with a lighter hand now. It’s easy for me to go overboard, and I’ve found that I look my best with cleaner looks. Learning how to do my face and blend my makeup, following bridal makeup artists and makeup artists in my favorite cities to find looks that I liked and could learn to do, practicing daily, and finding quality products in the right shades and with the right undertones were major parts of finally figuring out how to get my makeup to look the way I wanted it to.

when anaïs nin said “i want to be able to trust, not live in perpetual self-defense.”

I’m busy crafting an image befitting of the woman I’d like to be and the lifestyle I’d like to live in the future.