Train To Nowhere, At Least You’re There

(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing

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due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous

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the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????

billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?

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i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid

green arrow: how's life with your dads?

billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?

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when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits

superman: i see you have gotten some...habits

billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???

This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.

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Captain Marvel: (Injured)

Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.

Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k

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John: He’s a handful to put to bed.

Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!

The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶

Oliver: Here kid, buy yourself a candy bar or something

Billy:

Billy: This is $100, what the fuck kind of candy bar am I supposed to buy with this?

Barry: Wow man, who just gives a 10-year-old 100 bucks?

Bruce, quickly tucking $100 back into his pocket: Yeah, that's ridiculous

when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid 

Okay, but imagine everyone thinking Cap. Marvel/Shazam and John is dating because Billy follow John around like a puppy and sometimes he like to bring lunch for his dad in full hero get up. Sure John calls Cap. his son but everyone assume it's a kink thing

That’s a horrific misunderstanding, and justifiably hilarious.

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Imagine a league member sees John kissing Zatanna and they think he’s cheating on Cap. The whole League goes apeshit because how dare he cheat on our sunshine man.

Meanwhile Billy’s just wondering why Canary sat him down and was like, “I’m sorry to tell you this but I saw John kissing Zatanna.”

And Billy’s like: “Uhh yeah so??????”

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Someone asks Cap how long he’s been with John, and Billy misinterprets it and says, “I’ve know him for 2 years, but I’ve only been staying with him for the past few months”

“Oh so are you getting rings soon? Or are you waiting on John? Or is that not your style?”

Billy, wondering how they knew about the magic rings he and John were tracking down, “actually we are getting them together”

(Cue JL throwing an engagement party)

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John talking about Billy: He’s had some issues with fathers in the past.

The Leaguer who now thinks Captain Marvel has a daddy kink: 👁👄👁

I appreciate the canon that:

a) Only Klavier Gavin is allowed to bully Apollo Justice, according to Apollo Justice. When Phoenix teases Apollo calling him “Herr Forehead” in the DD Quiz DLC, Apollo gets mad and says only Prosecutor Gavin can call him that.

b) Only Simon Blackquill is allowed to bully Athena Cykes, according to Simon Blackquill. Simon riffs on Athena’s inexperience in 6-4, but the moment Nahyuta does the same, Simon decides it is his life calling to make Nahyuta miserable.

hey kid

WAIT WAIT WAIT

-the green lantern corps is a lifeguard company/squad

-the star sapphires are workers for an ice cream stand/truck LMAO 

headcanons for batlantern mermaid au?💞

hmmm. I’ve never been super into mermaid aus but I do have some Thoughts about this

Hal is a life guard and one day he spots mermaid Bruce on the shore and saves him from getting killed by some hunters. They don’t really get to talk and Hal barely gets a good look at him.

He doesn’t see him again for awhile but he eventually spots other, smaller mermaids. They seem to be watching him. And he keeps finding random gifts near his house.

One time Hal runs out to save someone getting swept away by the current, and while he saves them he ends up getting pulled under by some waves. He wakes up in a cave somewhere surrounded by mermaids.

According to the one who introduced himself as Dick, Bruce is the one who saved him, but he’s somewhere else brooding. Hal is literally just laying there like :O there’s so many mermaid in the water.

Damian’s like “thank you for saving our father” and Hal jumps because he didn’t even see him he’s so tiny

Bruce comes back and he’s like “WHAT are you guys doing I told you not to go near the human they’re dangerous >:(“

Anyway Hal thinks Bruce is scary but also really fucking pretty and maybe his brain to mount filter isn’t working very well and he just goes “wow you didn’t tell me I got saved by an angel” and of course the kids think this is hilarious. Bruce is unamused.

But also Hal is beautiful and maybe humans aren’t so bad because Hal saved him and hasn’t told anyone about them and he’s making his children laugh.

Okay I’ve had more than a few thoughts about this. Bruce doesn’t trust humans because his parents were killed by some hunters, but he still does his best to rescue mermaids and humans without being seen because he can’t just let anyone die

Bruce didn’t really think through rescuing Hal. He just saw him drowning and made a split second decision. But now this stupid human is flirting with him and apparently his stupid children already like him.

My favorite version of tawny tawky is when he’s just a stuffed animal, and then boom! Magical tiger.

A bunch of the Justice League’s villains work together to capture the league and when someone asks where Captain Marvel is, his villains point over at Billy Batson, a scrawny underfed 10 year old child, and so everyone is like, “Bro what the fuck that is very clearly not Captain Marvel” and his villains are like, “Trust me it is” and then try to get Billy to show everyone but Billy starts panicking because he doesn’t know what to do in this situation and ends up just doing what any 10 year old would do when they’ve been kidnapped by their arch-nemeses and can’t fight them off without revealing that they’re a child to their superhero coworkers, and bursts out into tears while trying to act like a completely normal 10 year old and so now everyone is just glaring at his villains like, “What the fuck guys" while they’re desperately trying to get Billy to Shazam

The girls compiled. Took quite some time to finish drawing but well it was worth it