Spending $10 Of My Hard Earned Money So I Can Shove My Favorite Pic Of My Cat Onto Ur Dash

You're laughing. The royal necromancer just lost their job, and you're laughing

new headcanon unlocked: Melkor killing by accident one of estë’s rabbits, trying to bring it back to life and accidentally creating a platypus

I'm going to learn to make lactose free, extra spice eggnog. I'm done with the super sweet stuff with just a hint of nutmeg that they sell at my grocery store. A small sack of nutmeg is no longer worth enough to set you up for life!!! Give me more!!!

Why are medieval movies always serious war dramas? I just want a medieval rom com. No listen - it could be so good:

The film opens with the wedding - William de something or other is a young nobleman who expected to spend the rest of his life in a monastery illuminating books when his older brother suddenly dies, leaving him with a title and a huge estate to run. He needs a wife and heir to legitimize his claim, and Eleanor is the young daughter of the lord in the neighboring estate. She is eager to get out of her fathers house and become a wife, and the marriage will be a strategic alliance between the two families. Everything is perfect.

However, it instantly becomes clear that the newlyweds can’t stand each other. He thinks she is a shallow teenager, she thinks he’s a pretentious asshole. As soon as they are alone on their wedding night, they make a plan. Instead of consummating their marriage, they will write to the pope with some excuse (that I need to actually research) and request an annulment. The letter will take several months to reach the Vatican and back, and in the mean time they decide to keep it a secret and play the role of a happy couple.

Shenanigans ensue. Running an estate is hard, and both of them are terrible at it. Eleanor starts off on the wrong foot with the seneschal and the servants, the money isn’t adding up, and William has to deal with his serfs coming to him with increasingly hilarious and convoluted complaints. He snores, she hogs the blankets. The members of the household spy and gossip, the animals are underfoot, and someone is always playing the bagpipes at the worst time. The newlyweds bicker and argue and can’t wait for the letter to arrive so they can finally drop the charade and part ways.

After a while though, Eleanor starts getting the hang of being a lady. It turns out she has a brilliant head for math and logistics, and when she figures out that William’s seneschal has been cheating him and fixes the budget to get them through the winter, he starts to trust and rely on her to run the estate. It turns out that William’s abrasivness was hiding a pious and sensitive interior, and once he realised she won’t judge him for it he teaches Eleanor to appreciate art and philosophy (and also how to sword fight because this is my movie and I want a hot fencing lesson scene). Eleanor helps William come to terms with his bisexuality, he learns to respect her struggle as a woman in a patriarchal society (using language that make sense for the period). They realize that unfortunately they also find each other very attractive.

(Someone needs to come up with an actual plot, I’m not good at that.)

The letter from the pope finally arrives granting the annulment, but they take one look at it, toss it in the fire, and go consummate the marriage.

The costumes will all be accurate to the 14th century and thus used to comedic effect whenever possible. The church, the feudal system, and other institutions of Medieval society will be treated as flawed yet nuanced parts of everyday life, people will be reasonably religious for the time period, and there will be lots of dirty jokes (and a hot fencing lesson scene).

Hollywood give me money!!!

Hyphens, en Dashes and em Dashes

Oh- and let’s not forget the minus sign, that thing on your keyboard that can be misused as any one of the above! 

It took me a long time to understand the differences. 

The minus sign                         (-)

The hyphen                               (-)

The en dash                              (–)

The em dash                            (—)

Visually, not much in it, is there?  

But oh what a difference the length makes! 

The minus sign is a mathematical symbol. That’s it. Don’t misuse it for anything else.

The hyphen is used to join two elements to form a compound word, like  self-restraint. Numbers between twenty-one and ninety-nine should also be hyphenated when they’re spelled out. Sherlock Holmes-Watson or John Watson-Holmes (interesting to know which one wins in the battle). You should also use a hyphen in a compound modifier before a noun, as in The Crossed Keys Inn was a dog-friendly pub.

The shorter en dash  is used when describing ranges and with the meaning “to” in phrases like “Dover–Calais crossing.” It applies to ranges of numbers, such as times, page numbers, or scores (I’ll schedule you from 4:30–5:00). That said, outside of formally printed documents, it is increasingly being replaced with a hyphen, so if you miss this one, Sherlock won’t hang you for it. 

The longer em dash (—) is about as wide as the letter M (duh, now I get why it’s called this). It’s used to separate extra information or mark a break in a sentence.  An em dash is most often used to indicate a pause in a sentence. It’s stronger than a comma, but weaker than a period or semicolon. 

You can use a pair of em dashes to draw special attention to parenthetical information, as in

Sherlock—who was wearing the same purple shirt of sex—entered the room carrying his violin..

You can use a single em dash to add explanatory or amplifying information, especially when the information is surprising:

I opened the door and there she stood—Eurus, my long lost sister.

Em dashes can also signal a sudden interruption, particularly in dialogue:

“Wait! I forgot to tell you—” The door slammed shut between us and I missed whatever John was trying to say.

Interestingly, there is no firm rule about spaces around the em dash (either word—word or word — word). It’s a matter of style. Whichever style you choose, use it consistently throughout your document.

The em dash is a relatively artistic punctuation mark, compared to the more technical hyphen and en dash, both of which need to be used accurately in legal contracts, for example. 

finally got around to paint my favorite golden haired boy

I know that Peter’s Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy technically has flaws but also....it doesn’t. It’s perfect.

we all have a limit to the bad things characters can do until we're not comfortable liking them but tbh some of you are just super fucking boring

reblog and describe your favorite tolkien character in the tags