You're Laughing. The Royal Necromancer Just Lost Their Job, And You're Laughing

The hilarious thing about Sauron is that according to most versions of the legendarium, he was originally, like, a god of planning and logistics, and he initially supported Melkor’s plans for world domination because he regarded the world’s present state of affairs as inefficient and poorly organised. He’s literally what happens when you take the kid who’s fed up at everybody else fucking up their part of the group project and give him phenomenal cosmic power.

[ID of final image: screen cap of a nun with the subtitles "Please, please, do not come crying to me."

End ID.]

tired of the whole movement that’s people saying ’i read 200 books in a year’ and reading as a means of boasting and hardcover books being bought and never read after the instagram picture and most booktubers reading and recommending the same books and poorly written books selling fast because they have pretty covers and tropes people like and authors on twitter being afraid to say anything serious out of fear of being divisive and the whole let people enjoy things dialogue every time someone expresses that they think something is written shittily as is their god given right to form an opinion as a reader without randos on the internet taking it personally because OMG someone else didn’t agree that this book is good!? TIME TO ESCALATE THINGS TO RIDICULOUS LEVELS 😤😤😤 and also i’m tired of book influencers setting up this false dichotomy between victorian classics or modern pulpy romcoms while vastly ignoring the existence of classics written by people of colour and people from non first world countries

Hyphens, en Dashes and em Dashes

Oh- and let’s not forget the minus sign, that thing on your keyboard that can be misused as any one of the above! 

It took me a long time to understand the differences. 

The minus sign                         (-)

The hyphen                               (-)

The en dash                              (–)

The em dash                            (—)

Visually, not much in it, is there?  

But oh what a difference the length makes! 

The minus sign is a mathematical symbol. That’s it. Don’t misuse it for anything else.

The hyphen is used to join two elements to form a compound word, like  self-restraint. Numbers between twenty-one and ninety-nine should also be hyphenated when they’re spelled out. Sherlock Holmes-Watson or John Watson-Holmes (interesting to know which one wins in the battle). You should also use a hyphen in a compound modifier before a noun, as in The Crossed Keys Inn was a dog-friendly pub.

The shorter en dash  is used when describing ranges and with the meaning “to” in phrases like “Dover–Calais crossing.” It applies to ranges of numbers, such as times, page numbers, or scores (I’ll schedule you from 4:30–5:00). That said, outside of formally printed documents, it is increasingly being replaced with a hyphen, so if you miss this one, Sherlock won’t hang you for it. 

The longer em dash (—) is about as wide as the letter M (duh, now I get why it’s called this). It’s used to separate extra information or mark a break in a sentence.  An em dash is most often used to indicate a pause in a sentence. It’s stronger than a comma, but weaker than a period or semicolon. 

You can use a pair of em dashes to draw special attention to parenthetical information, as in

Sherlock—who was wearing the same purple shirt of sex—entered the room carrying his violin..

You can use a single em dash to add explanatory or amplifying information, especially when the information is surprising:

I opened the door and there she stood—Eurus, my long lost sister.

Em dashes can also signal a sudden interruption, particularly in dialogue:

“Wait! I forgot to tell you—” The door slammed shut between us and I missed whatever John was trying to say.

Interestingly, there is no firm rule about spaces around the em dash (either word—word or word — word). It’s a matter of style. Whichever style you choose, use it consistently throughout your document.

The em dash is a relatively artistic punctuation mark, compared to the more technical hyphen and en dash, both of which need to be used accurately in legal contracts, for example. 

Friendly reminder that 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old

You know the ambiguously timed event that Tolkien describes as "Elrond sends for Arwen, and she returns to Imladris; the Mountains and all lands eastward are becoming dangerous"? I was thinking about it, and here's a half-baked Arwen headcanon:

Arwen immediately correctly assumes if her father, who never became controlling even after what happened to Celebrian, is telling her what to do, he's got a legitimate reason to be afraid and it would be wise to listen.

(Bonus points if he sends the twins to fetch her and the three of them spend the trip back home discussing the situation because "Get your sister away from incoming danger" is not something Elladan and Elrohir have ever heard before)

Arwen hasn't spent all these long visits to her grandmother doing nothing. She's been learning to be an elf queen, thank you very much. Who did Galadriel learn to be a queen from? Melian. Arwen's education is probably the best a queen can get by the Third Age tbh

Arwen doesn't make any dramatic announcements or anything, but she quietly decides she is the Lady of Imladris now that Celebrian is West, and she is going to make sure Rivendell remains the last refuge in the world if the worst comes to pass, like Galadriel does and like Melian once did

Elrond can proceed to spend the rest of the war focusing on ensuring Rivendell is protected and doing the thing canon seems to imply he does, which is to try and guess ahead of time what will be needed and provide that - the day to day matters which were his responsibility during peacetime are all seamlessly claimed by Arwen

By the time she marries, Arwen has effectively been running Rivendell for like 3 years (or 10 depending on which timeline you favor), so she technically has more experience with ruling than Aragorn does? She's just objectively a skilled queen, what can I tell you

“Zuko adopts” bingo

I was describing all of the “x adopts Zuko” AUs that I used to follow on @muffinlance​​‘s blog to a friend, and I referred to them as “Zuko Adopts Bingo”, so same friend  asked “wait, LITERAL bingo?? Did you guys makes cards?”

and I couldn’t remember any, but I had the time tonight so I was like, why not?

[Image Description: a bingo card titled “Zuko adopts bingo”. The the squares are labeled as such:

First row: Hama, Fire Sages, Jun, Hakoda, the Gaang

Second row: the Herbalist, Vattu, The Painted Lady, Other Spirits, Jet

Third row: Zuko, the Beifongs, Iroh/FREE SPACE, Zuko’s crew, Jee specifically

Fourth row: Yuyan Archers, Batman, Dragons, Kyoshi Warriors, the Dai Li

Fifth row: Azula, Jeong Jeong, Team Leverage, Piandao, Wild Animals /end ID] 

—-

I did have specific fics and/or tumblr discussions in mind for every one of these. I might try to link them all in a reblog, but I didn’t take notes while I made this so it might be a hassle to find them again ^^;;

also please tell me if there’s any more AUs I forgot about or that are your particular favorites – or better yet, make your own bingo card and send it to me! Let’s make this a Thing, I’m having fun here :P

At a certain point, it’s just Feanor and Eol remaining unrepentant in Mandos.

Feanor nods along as Eol goes off about: the Valar; people usurping what is his; a disloyal wife who betrayed him by trying to separate him from his son; how, if he did any wrong, it was because his hand was forced by people stealing from him, and that is what caused his family’s deaths!

Immediately after this, Feanor goes to Namo and is like. “Okay. I see it now. I was a prick, my bad.”

Namo is so shocked that his watch on the doors of night falters and that’s why Feanor’s return heralds the end of the world. Not with a bang, but with Feanor apologizing.

Nine rings were made for men. Seven for the dwarves, three for the elves, and one for the big guy himself. One, three, seven, nine. There is but a set of five missing to complete the sequence of odd numbers. I propose that this missing set of rings of power was gifted to a mysterious someone by their true love, along with a partridge in a pear tree (among other things). In this essay I will-