Why Are Medieval Movies Always Serious War Dramas? I Just Want A Medieval Rom Com. No Listen - It Could

Cartographic Practices of Arda: Men

[overthinking fantasy cartography series: Elves, Orcs, Dwarves, Hobbits, and Men]

o   Men might seem like the most straightforward group to analyze, but they’re not. Why should we assume that humans in Arda use the same cartographic practices that we do? For that matter, who is “we”? Cartography is not a set of objective and universally or historically standard techniques; it is not an exact science; the modern maps treated as real or correct maps are not the one true way to represent space. Tolkien’s Edain may be based on Western Europeans, but they’re still fantasy, and there’s no reason that their cartography should look like Western Europe’s

Further, Western European cartography wasn’t standardized in terms of techniques or even units of measure until early states began to want visual representations of their territory that would make them more easily taxed and managed, especially as enclosure policies took off, market forces became increasingly dominant, and controlling a standardized populace became an important goal of government

o    Western cartography is also deeply intertwined with maps as a colonial and imperialist tool, which impacted the development of mapping practices, the lands those maps reflected, and the ways in which space was imagined. I think that governing, planning military operations, maybe taxing the populace, and carrying out various expansionist programs would be the activities in Middle-earth driving cartographic development among Men, similar to Europe, but it’s not inevitable at all that the maps they make for such things would look the same. Maybe they could make maps of layered symbols rather than mimicking on-the-ground spatial relations, or paintings whose details correspond to geographic referents, or physical models of space a la Polynesian stick charts (although I do think there’s an artifacts-have-politics argument to be made about which cartographic practices are most conducive to certain uses and conceptions of space, but I digress)

o   But presuming Men do make maps in the same vein as those found in the books (though I should say I don’t take those as being real in-world maps, per se), what would they map? And how would they map it?

Starting with the Edain and the kingdoms they founded, since their influence is so centered in LOTR, I think their cartography would develop as a formal practice in Númenor, and prior to that, they might use the maps of Elven realms of which they were vassals, or might create their own spatial navigation techniques, not necessarily cartographic

Likely, considerable influence of Elvish cartography on Númenórean maps would carry over to Gondor and Arnor. While Elves might only need maps as reference for memorization, or for military strategy planning, I think Men’s reproduction of and reliance on maps would increase greatly, especially during the colonial age of Númenor and the realms they established. Cartography could become a more established discipline; populations could be managed more effectively, at least under the more competent rulers; similar to early-state-formation Europe, you could see cartography as an increasingly important tool of state 

(this is a long one, so the rest is under the cut)

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I have a lot of Thoughts about the framing of classic fantasy stories that are actual specific published works as Ye Olde Folktales of no particular origin. especially given the most common modern understanding of “original fairytale” as “didactic story intended for children”

(same goes for stories where the most common modern understanding of the story is based on one particular published version)

like. I don’t know. Beauty and the Beast owes a lot of tropes to earlier tales that occupy the nebulous ~folklore~ space we usually assign it to, but the actual story itself is a novel. a full-on fantasy novel intended for adults, with a known author (Gabrielle Suzanne Barbot de Villenueve), published in a definite time and place (1740 France)

the most popular modern version of Cinderella- with the fairy godmother, glass slipper, single ball, and so on -was written in 1697 by Charles Perrault. that’s not the oldest known version of the story, and DEFINITELY not the only one out there, but it’s the one that most informs our cultural ideas about what Cinderella is. in the west and honestly, in most of the world

(luckily most people know by now that The Little Mermaid started life as a story written by a particular author. but it sometimes falls prey to these misconceptions, too)

this is all really hard to articulate, but it just feels weird to say “Beauty and the Beast was meant to teach girls to accept arranged marriage!” when you wouldn’t try to sum up, say, The Fellowship of the Ring so neatly. or “well, in the ORIGINAL Cinderella, birds peck out the stepsisters’ eyes!” when that comes from a version published in 1819- over a century after the version we’re most familiar with today

I think it also takes away important context when analyzing these stories, to completely sever them from the very specific points in history that created them and make them seem the product of a murky, generic Olden Time™ that never existed

Speaking of linguistics fics, an idea I’ve played with but never put into practice is using maximal Latin-rooted words when characters are speaking Quenya and Germanic-rooted words when they’re speaking Sindarin.

The effect being to make the language shift more meaningful than just a dialogue tag, (maybe even to the point where I don’t always have to say it outright) and it would work by playing on associations of Latinate words as more highbrow and polysyllabic and Germanic words as more common. (Think regal/kingly, dine/eat, or educate/teach.)

It might backfire, it might be impossible (sometimes the connotations run the other way!) but I think it’d be fun to try.

“Keep descriptions short and don’t use poetic/flowery language in a novel” “if a scene doesn’t advance the plot cut it” “avoid complicated symbolism and hinting at things, just say what you mean” “too much worldbuilding is distracting” bites you bites you bites you bites you bites y

So I was doing some thinking on the Huge Spiders that haunt Greenwood and I had some THOUGHTS about how it might affect the ecosystem of the forest. Now, these thoughts are sort of based on two main assumptions. 

One - That the spiders either grew larger and larger over a steady period of time OR 

Two - They didn’t wipe out the original habitat and ecosystems to the point of all other animals dying or being driven out / eaten and allowed time for change and adaptation. 

There are several animals that regularly eat spiders in normal settings and ecosystems including but not limited to: Other Spiders, Wasps, Reptiles, Amphibians, Praying Mantis’, Scorpions, and Birds. 

When a certain part of an ecosystem begins to change dramatically the rest of it is sort of forced to change along with it, or die out. And I think that Greenwood chose to change along with the Spiders. That as the Spiders grew, so did the creatures that hunted them. 

So not only does Greenwood have unnaturally large Spiders, they have huge Wasps flying around through their tree’s. Each wing is nearly the length of a fully grown Silvan, and their stingers the size of a leg. You can hear them buzzing from miles away but they’re almost impossible to see until they're right upon you. Their nests no longer hang from the trees as they are too heavy, but fill entire meadows bigger than a human's house. 

Lizards and other reptiles skitter along the ground or across thick branches. As silent as ever but each one capable of killing or at the very least putting up a damn good fight against a spider. They grow more teeth, or become venoms as a self defense. Snapping turtles lurk in the riverbeds, large enough to snap several elves in half if it so wished. Waiting, lurking, always ready to snap at the next thing to wander by. 

Cunning birds grew in size to accommodate the extra muscle needed to power they're powerful thick beaks, able to peck through a spider's shell with one go. Or snap a leg off with ease. Smaller birds linger around these larger one’s, each one being elected the ‘ruler’ of part of the forest. Gone are the days where songbirds ruled the canopies, and here are the days ruled by lightning fast hunters, each beak thicker than the bark on the three’s or the weight of a door. 

Beetles large enough to ride and pull carts scuttle around too. Their exoskeleton is almost more sturdy than metal and their blood contains anti-venom components that keep them moving even after they’ve been stung or bitten by other animals. Their heads seem to have helmets now, and their tunnels underneath the forest rumble with their movements. 

Other creatures have to get bigger too, or become meaner. Harder to kill. Fish grow in size to become more difficult for birds to find, growing teeth of their own and a taste of any flesh that comes too close to their waters edge or passes too slowly over their waters. 

The wolves get taller, become faster runners with wide jaws and better muscled to clamp them down. Deer horns begin to stay year round, more pointed than seen anywhere else so serve as self defense. 

Greenwood is not a place of huge spiders. Greenwood is a place of huge, terrifying, and weird creatures.  The kind that should only find existence in nightmares, the kind that should never exist. The kind that even Eru would cringe when gazing upon them. 

I really hope the Amazon show picks a side in the Gil-Gadad debate. Just for the drama. I think it will be funny to watch.

Too much praying directly to the Valar and not enough praying to their Maiar for their intercession

Friendly reminder that 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old

You're laughing. The royal necromancer just lost their job, and you're laughing