I Know That Peter’s Jackson Lord Of The Rings Trilogy Technically Has Flaws But Also....it Doesn’t.

"So, wait," said the thief, topping off the detective's wine glass. "You're saying that your stressful case is catching that hot shot cat burglar that everyone's talking about?"

The detective grimaced, but didn't change the subject. "Yep," they muttered into their Pinot and took a swig. "The celebrity criminal."

This was a triumph. This was their third date and the thief had spent the prior two carefully laying the emotional groundwork leading up to this moment. The detective, as a social partner, was affable and considerate - surprisingly funny even, in a dry, deadpan way - but rigidly guarded about their line of work. The thief had asked the normal questions about jobs and had been expertly deflected with self-deprecating jokes about spreadsheets and paperwork. The thief had been content to wait. The detective was a fundamentally honest person, and the thief trusted the truth would work its way to the surface soon enough.

"But that sounds exciting!" the thief prompted brightly. "I mean, daring heists executed by moonlight! It must be such a nice change from your run-of-the-mill crimes."

"Mostly it's just exhausting," sighed the detective, rubbing their temples. "This perp is such an asshole."

The thief blinked. "Excuse me?"

The detective shook their head, tried to force a smile. "I'm sorry. I've had too much wine. You were saying about your invitation to audition for the Bolshoi -?"

"Oh, forget about me," the thief said quickly. "Please, go on. You're clearly stressed about -"

"Do you know," the detective went on as if they'd never stopped, "the morning guy on Channel Seven had the nerve to call this a victimless crime?"

"Well, the insurance will pay for it," the thief started.

The detective slapped the table. The thief jumped. "What about the people?" the detective exclaimed. A few nearby heads turned in their direction. "Are people supposed to walk into museums and look at what, framed checks on the wall from Lloyds? And meanwhile, these masterworks disappear into the vaults of gangsters and petty criminals, never to be seen again. Because you can be sure," they added, jabbing a finger at the thief, "crooks that steal art have no love for it. They'll destroy it, every lick of paint, if there's the slightest risk to their own skins."

The detective took another deep swallow of red wine. They looked close to tears. The thief awkwardly patted their hand across the table. This was not at all what they'd expected on this little reconnaissance side mission. The detective caught their hand and squeezed it with a grateful look that wrenched something in the thief's upper chest area.

"Now those guys," the detective said thoughtfully. "The criminals with the vaults. Now that seems like a worthy target."

"I... huh?" The thief stared across the table. The detective looked back with those guileless, honest eyes. 

"I'm just saying," they said, with the slightest drunken slur on their words. "Walking the art out of some budget-strapped public facility is one thing. But emptying out of one of those vaults, liberating all those works of art and returning them to their rightful place before the public..." The detective sighed dreamily. "Now that actually sounds like a daring, hot shot kind of heist."

There was a moment where neither moved, gazing at each other like the lovers they were pretending to be. Then the detective tugged their hand free, stood up with an apologetic smile. "But I'm definitely tipsy," they said. "Let me go splash some water on my face."

When the detective returned from the restroom, the thief was still at the table, watching the waiter clear the plates. By unspoken agreement, they didn't speak until she was well clear.

"So, hypothetically speaking," the thief said finally, running a finger theough a puddle on the tabletop. "How would one go about this vault heist of yours?"

The detective smiled again, nothing drunk or vague about it at all.

[ID: a four panel comic featuring Katara and Aang.

First panel: Katara looks offscreen, presumably at Zuko, and asks, “Is it just me or is Zuko kind of... attractive?” Aang, who is standing farther back, whips around and gasps.

Second panel: Aang, looking as though he is about to go into full lecture/gossip mode, says, “I’m so glad you brought this up.”

Third panel: “Because I’ve been waiting to talk about this,” he continues,

Fourth panel: “for a HOT minute.” Yes, that is a pun. He produces a list on a piece of paper taller than him that is entitled “Every Attractive Thing Zuko’s Ever Done.” Its entries include “be born, save me, save me in mask, look at me, join our group, ask me to stop using fire nation slang, laugh at my joke.” There are at least 7,898 items on the list, but it is obvious that there are many more.

The caption states, “The list is miles long.”

End ID.]

The list is miles long

Fëanor: I put the “war” in “Tengwar”

Curufin: I put the “goth” in “Nargothrond”

Elros: I put the “men” in “Numenor”

Galadriel: I put a frog in Fingolfin’s boot once. They don’t even know it was me

This Is How You Actually Take Notes In College, Bitches

it’s occurred to me that nobody fuckin knows how to take notes in classes and most advice about it is bad. What the fuck are “key words?”

So anyway here’s how I’ve gotten a’s in all my classes in college so far

I’m not gonna bother too much with telling you to take notes in class. Everyone knows that shit. But most people’s note taking skills suck ass and there are two main types of sucking ass I have observed

The first is the one where your notes look like a list of key terms and words. Sometimes they are underlined or there are dashes that connect them to other words. So if your prof was talking about Henry VIII you’d write down something like

Henry VIII

Church of England—divorce

DON’T DO THAT. Those words are gonna show up on the test, sure, but writing them down isn’t gonna help you with the test. What the fuck does any of that mean? High school is shit and your “key words” can’t help you now.

Here’s the other type of bad note taking:

It was necessary for Henry VIII to have a male heir who could succeed him, but his wife was unable to conceive a son. The Catholic Church

I stopped writing there because your professor moved on to something else. But, tbh, even if you can write fast enough to keep up with the content of the lectures (and you can’t for the entire lecture) it’s not helpful to have a solid wall of Everything That Was Covered In The Lecture, in grammatically correct complete sentences. Are you gonna read that shit again? No!

And honestly most people have like, sentences here and there that look important instead of the whole lecture. Which is also bad.

So what’s the not shitty way to take notes? It comes down to these principles:

Shorthand

Show Relationships of Things

These kind of go together

I cannot emphasize enough that you don’t need to write sentences like a normal person. Shorthand everything, and I don’t mean some fucked up studying shorthand you just came up with like “AmR” for American Revolution, I mean like...fuckin text/memespeak. Don’t write complete sentences, completely abandon formality. Abbreviate anything you would in a text message, you know what it means.

HOWEVER: You Must Show How Things Are Related To Things

To understand broad concepts you gotta understand how the things in them are related to other things.

That’s why writing down “Henry VIII” and “Church of England” isn’t gonna help you, because you’re not learning that there is a Church of England.

Did Henry VIII burn the Church of England? Cheat on his wife with it? Who knows? Definitely not you.

This is why you have to connect stuff like

Catholic Church says no divorce

Henry VIII—starts Church of England

But ya know you can make that more memorable AND more clearly show how one thing caused the other

Henry VIII: divorce >:)

Catholic Church: no

Henry VIII: fuk u *church of england*

I’m completely dead serious about this, this kind of slang is very good at indicating exactly how things relate to things in zero time and you know exactly what it means and you’ll remember it

But furthermore

You have to come up with shorthand to quickly indicate how things are related. Say you write down the definitions of two terms for like, opposing theories on government in class. That’s great but you’re leaving it to yourself to work out the opposing part later from what you write, and your brain’s a flaky bitch.

Like part of what you’re doing it giving yourself help with HOW to study your notes later.

So like. Do something like write a jagged line in between the definitions, indicating conflict. Write “OTOH” or “HOWEVER” in between in big fuckin letters. Writing down “Catholic Church” and what that is and “Church of England” and what that is, is fine. But like, if the main theme is the contrast between the two, “Catholic Church HOWEVER Church of England” immediately tells you the basicest basics. It’s like a tiny outline, telling you what to expect. Sure, you can figure it out reading your notes but I’m telling you how to write skimmable notes that you can glean stuff from even when you’re half spaced out and shit, okay?

Same thing for like, dates and sequences and cause-and-effect and stuff. Even if you’ve got the dates down...be sure to put arrows or something so even at a glance you’ve got basically what’s going on.

Also i know it feels like wasting paper but DONT scrunch all your notes together into small space on the paper. That lil dialogue between Henry and the Church of England is spread out over 3 lines which means if you have ADHD like me you can actually fuckin read it. Turn things into bullet lists. Indent things with little arrows to show things leading to things. If there’s a clear move to a new topic, new page. If you’re actually filling up the paper all the way that shits hard to read and it’s even harder to pick out the Big Important Stuff.

Last word of advice: If you end up like writing down two things and can’t tell what they’re for or how they’re related to each other...ASK QUESTIONS. Like “I’m sorry can you explain how the Church of England is related to the Catholic Church? I didn’t quite catch that.” If talking in class makes you feel like you might be percieved badly, you can frame it like a Nerd Question “So, what kind of relationship would you say the Church of England and the Catholic Church had?” or just play it off like you didn’t hear it like “I’m sorry, what was that last thing you said about the Church of England and the Catholic Church?”

Or just make a mark on your notes to remind yourself that you need more info and to go to your prof’s office to ask questions. I would really not be nervous about that, professors normally really like it when students show that they really want to succeed in the class and that they care. Unless they’re like, a complete dickhead, in which case, fuck what they think, right? You’re gonna ask questions and it’s their problem because you’re essentially paying them for your presence in the class.

So...yeah.

You know the ambiguously timed event that Tolkien describes as "Elrond sends for Arwen, and she returns to Imladris; the Mountains and all lands eastward are becoming dangerous"? I was thinking about it, and here's a half-baked Arwen headcanon:

Arwen immediately correctly assumes if her father, who never became controlling even after what happened to Celebrian, is telling her what to do, he's got a legitimate reason to be afraid and it would be wise to listen.

(Bonus points if he sends the twins to fetch her and the three of them spend the trip back home discussing the situation because "Get your sister away from incoming danger" is not something Elladan and Elrohir have ever heard before)

Arwen hasn't spent all these long visits to her grandmother doing nothing. She's been learning to be an elf queen, thank you very much. Who did Galadriel learn to be a queen from? Melian. Arwen's education is probably the best a queen can get by the Third Age tbh

Arwen doesn't make any dramatic announcements or anything, but she quietly decides she is the Lady of Imladris now that Celebrian is West, and she is going to make sure Rivendell remains the last refuge in the world if the worst comes to pass, like Galadriel does and like Melian once did

Elrond can proceed to spend the rest of the war focusing on ensuring Rivendell is protected and doing the thing canon seems to imply he does, which is to try and guess ahead of time what will be needed and provide that - the day to day matters which were his responsibility during peacetime are all seamlessly claimed by Arwen

By the time she marries, Arwen has effectively been running Rivendell for like 3 years (or 10 depending on which timeline you favor), so she technically has more experience with ruling than Aragorn does? She's just objectively a skilled queen, what can I tell you

I'm going to learn to make lactose free, extra spice eggnog. I'm done with the super sweet stuff with just a hint of nutmeg that they sell at my grocery store. A small sack of nutmeg is no longer worth enough to set you up for life!!! Give me more!!!

reasons not to put image descriptions under readmores

it puts a burden on disabled people to click through to people’s individual blogs in order to have access, instead of browsing their dash like sighted people do

hyperlinks and screen readers don’t always get along, so readmores can actually be more difficult for people using screen readers to access

if you ever change your url or delete your blog, that image is rendered inaccessible

it’s annoying

don’t do it

If you think puns are harmless remember that puns got Mercutio killed and as a result 5 other people

ID: Katara and sokka in swimgear. in the first image, sokka is searching for something in the water. his hair getting wet. katara leans over to him saying "don't you think, its time for a haircut?" in the second image sokka rose form the water, a dog-shark creature in hand, swinging his hair in Katara face splashing her. smugly he says "no <3". End ID

i know its winter! i know it likley snowed by now on the northern hemilsphere! but... on the southern side is summer time right??? so... its fine.... this is fine!!!

----

!!! please do not use or repost this artwork without permission!!!

Silm Time Travel “prompt”

I use the word “prompt” loosely. This is really just a not-fleshed-out story.

Time travel fic where, instead of Maglor doing the time travel, it’s Maedhros. Let’s say he’s been missing for xyz years and one day just poofs up in the forest with no Silmarill in sight (last thing he remembers is jumping into a chasm of fire). His hand is still burning something fierce but he grabs his sword anyway. Some of his brothers find him and he thinks they’re hallucinations or trying to kill him or something of the sort. He attacks his brothers and the only way they can subdue him is to knock him out.

He wakes up with his mother by his bedside (everyone figured that even not in his right mind, he wouldn’t hurt her. They were right). He’s super confused and she explains what happened and somehow, Maedhros figures out that he time traveled. He insists that he see his father immediately and says it’s very important. When she brings Fëanor in, he tells them that he’s from the future and that the future of the entire world depends on Fëanor not capturing the light of the trees in gemstones. Fëanor decides to put off his plan to do exactly that until he’s sure of whether Maedhros is right or wrong.

After all that, the other Fëanorians come piling in the room. The Ambarussar (about nine in elvish reckoning) are nervous around him and aren’t sure it’s him because of all the scars. Everyone else is horrified by the scars to but are tactful enough to not say anything (only barely in Celegorm’s case). He helps the twins to get over their fear by letting them touch his hand-stump and assuring him that it’s really him. Thus the Silmarills are not made and Maedhros gets to heal.

Over time, he slowly reveals things about his past that explain his behaviors. He’s so vigilant and on edge all the time because he’s been fighting for centuries. He keeps his hair short because having it long brings back bad memories. He doesn’t like being touched, especially by surprise, because of his time in Angband (if you want to know specifically why, go read @outofangband’s stories. They were my inspiration for this bit). He doesn’t tell the littler ones that. They’re only told to ‘make sure your brother can see you before you give him a hug.’ And bit by bit, he heals.