I'm Convinced That Polyamory Is Nature's Way Of Granting Mercy To Halsin's Lovers Who Have Severely Underestimated

Abolish Tesla.

can I just say how heartbreaking it is that Halsin continuously doubts someone could love him? when he says "my heart does not stir lightly... but it does now" he actually has to take a moment to breathe and close his eyes. like he's scared to admit it. like once he opens his eyes, the PC will be gone. even during his romance scene, you have to encourage him that this was what you wanted and that when he goes into wildshape and back into his regular form, PC tells him "it's okay, now come here" like he's TERRIFIED of scaring the PC because he rambles and apologizes profusely.

and when you solo romance him/decide to leave with him post brain, he tells you in the epilogue:

"Yet you chose me", like he STILL can't believe pc could've picked him over ANYONE SIX MONTHS LATER. This man wants to be loved but STRUGGLES to believe it once someone actually loves him and it's so heartbreaking. He's just a gentle giant. (also thank you @autistichalsin bc you've encouraged me to start analyzing Halsin with your posts)

The Ghoul will give it to him; that poor sod Cooper Howard was right about one thing, at least. Quittin' showbiz and movin' to a ranch to raise Janey in the fresh air was just about the best idea he ever had. He just had the wrong woman at his side for it at the time.

I have been thinking a lot about the entire Coop-Barb-Janey subplot, not only from a viewer's perspective but also a writer's perspective and here's some thoughts of what we might expect in S2 and/or S3:

☢️ Similarly to S1, S2 could open with a scene set in 2077 showing Coop separating from Janey. It'd be safe to assume that at one point Barb swooped in and took Janey with her to one of the good vaults.

Henry/Hank, being Barb's assistant, might have been directly involved. It would explain why Coop later thinks he might know where both of them are

Coop probably doesn't know that for a simple reason: contrarily to the experiment vaults, the location of the high management vaults must be top secret and the entrance must be well disguised and well protected

Side note: Barb and Janey are definitely not in vault 31. They are not listed on the terminal that Norm checks in one of the scenes

☢️ I think that throughout the season/s we'll get some flashbacks of Coop and Barb from the moment he found out about the bombs all the way to their divorce

I theorize Barb was the one to file for divorce, and one of the reasons was she feared his association with "commies" would lose her (and by extension her daughter) the spot in a good vault

I saw an affair angle being mentioned. I'd say it's not out of the realm of possibility. Still, if there was a third man, it would not be Hank but some high ranking executive, someone who could grant Barb that spot in a good vault.

If there was an affair and it was mostly calculated, I think there could still have been an element of genuine attraction there. The way in which Barb accuses Coop of being an ingenue, makes me think she'd be inclined to develop an attachment to someone who is the opposite of that, someone who'd make her feel safe and supported

Side note 1: the affair angle would tie nicely with the fact that Coop appears to think of his family as having been taken from him

Side note 2: ghoulcy shippers might find it interesting that the side of Coop's character that Barb seemed to resent, is the one Lucy would probably appreciate the most

☢️ All that said, Coop will most certainly find Barb and Janey at the end of S2 or at least will find out where they are and will only literally find them at the end of S3. @earthgenre made an interesting post exploring what might have happened to them. I personally am convinced they were cryo-frozen and one of the following will turn out to be true:

They were awakened, lived and died a long time ago (or were just never frozen in the first place) and Coop will have to deal with the fact that they are just... gone.

They were awakened some time earlier but by now Barb is dead and Janey is all grown up, perhaps with a husband and child/ren, or alternatively she's already old. It could make for a heartfelt reunion but in the end, the two would have to go their separate ways.

They are both still in their cryopods. Coop gets to see his wife and daughter again and is faced with a choice to either awaken them or let them sleep. It would be a test of character for him. If this one came true, I think he'd either let them sleep or awaken them just for a moment of closure and then let them go back to sleep again in wait for a better tomorrow.

You may have noticed I didn't include any scenario in which they reconcile and walk together into the sunset. This is simply because I don't think it's really an option. I mean, could you imagine Barb, the clean-cut corporate exec, traveling across the wasteland with her ex who now is also a radioactive flesh-eating ghoul? And dragging their little daughter along with them?

On the other hand, Coop wouldn't subject them to that. Yes, he's been looking for them all this time but it would be very silly of him to expect them to reunite and just go live happily ever after. And he's a lot of things but silly is not one of them. I don't think he wants to get them back. He just wants to know what the hell happened to them. Closure is what he wants and what he'll probably eventually get.

As much as I'd love to see Coop get back what he'd lost, I recognize that it wouldn't make much sense, narratively speaking. Cooper's journey appears to be about two things: regaining his lost humanity and letting go of the past. He cannot turn back into a human but he can become a better man (ghoul?) with strong(er) morals. Similarly, he cannot get his family back, not really, not even if he finds them alive, but he can always get himself a companion - someone whom he could cherish and protect, someone whom he could literally live for - and the narrative so far seems to imply that companion is meant to be Lucy. I won't elaborate further on that because there's already a gazillion posts quoting various parallels and foreshadowing elements than seem to be pointing somewhere in that direction.

At the end of it, I just wanna say, there is no way back, but there is always a way forward and that, I think, is the lesson Cooper is supposed to learn.

-Gee, if only there was some way to make him tougher, to make him a class that is specifically designed to do that instead of control the battlefield and buff companions and debuff enemies.....what do you think, Withers? Don't you feel so frustrated that all our companions have these classes and no way to change them? Oh wait.....

-Should I ask if these same people have a problem with Jaheira or do they magically somehow manage to make her work because they're willing to figure out how she works best?

-Do they know how to make the Druid class work, or is this something they're using as an excuse for their bias? I mean, I struggled with the Barbarian class, but that doesn't mean Karlach should be considered useless nor that the class is bad.

-If you send your cleric to do the tanking, should we be surprised if they're getting stomped on? The whole point of the Druid class is making the terrain work in your favor. That's how Larian games work in general too. It's why there are high ground penalties, why you pay attention to elemental resistances, why concentration spells are a pain because they cancel each other out, why stats affect how far you move or how fast you react.

"Halsin is useless he can't take a hit and he's not strong"

HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HE'S A DRUID.

"He can't cast spells in wildshape smh what's the point"

Wild shape is a defense mechanism! You only wild shape as a last resort. Druids have a lot of spells meant to keep enemies away, you cast wall spells, field of thorns, everything you can to keep enemies away. Once in wild shape, they gain a new set of hit points. So say halsin gets down to 3 hp and he's suddenly surrounded by enemies. THAT IS WHEN YOU WILDSHAPE. Thats why wildshape only gets like 2 charges!!! Don't send him into a hoard of enemies in wildshape he's gunna get killed!

Gods. I'm tired of people saying he's useless in battle. You just think bc he's giant and can be a bear he's supposed to be a a melee attacker. He's squishy!! He's a lover not a fighter!!!

Look, can we please, NOT hate on Maximus to ship Ghoulcy? I like Ghoulcy, but I also like Max.

Got tired of the fandom shipping wars and the frequent harassment from some of the fans who hated Ghoulcy.

I don't need to hate on a character to like a ship. I don't want the ghoulcy fandom to be like the haters.

I really do like headcanoning that a shakarian romance would have a great impact on turian-human relations throughout the galaxy (especially if we pretend that SPOILER Shepard somehow doesn't die).

Because Shepard definitely is a public figure, especially by the time ME3 rolls around and Garrus is calling Shepard his girlfriend left and right. But the first contact war only happened 26 years before ME1 so tensions are obviously still fresh between their two species. But also, as media has always shown us, a romance is always more sexy and compelling than a peace treaty.

So maybe Shepard and Garrus accidentally actually make relations between their two species really really good. Like repairing decades old wounds good. The two militaries start doing more joint trainings together because of the proof of how good Shepard's team is. More ships like the Normandy are built. Turian-human romantic relationships gradually become less and less of a taboo with them being the poster children for it.

And maybe they never say anything officially but various sources have overheard Garrus Vakarian refer to himself as Shepard's boyfriend and in both political and casual settings Commander Shepard is rarely seen without her right hand turian attached to her hip.

And as much as they both claim to want to retire post-war, the workaholics in them keep them active in their military and politics. So the cameras are still on them constantly, but since they're respected war heroes, the major news networks feel like speaking on their personal lives and asking questions would be inappropriate. And yet, the talking points Garrus and Shepard choose are often about how they are campaigning for more inter-species adoption and how cross-species colonies are vital to the galaxy's rebuilding efforts right now. And Garrus is often seen taking calls from Earth and Shepard from Palaven. So their legacy and mystery continues, and both turians and humans seen their friendship or romance as a pillar in their diplomacy efforts.

*Me trying to write fanfic*: Tralalalala, plot, plot, plot, write cohesive script, double check character perso-

*HORNY THOUGHTS*

Me: .....Damn it, what was the point I was trying to make?

i haven’t been able to finish my current me3 playthrough yet due to my brother hogging the xbox so he can play ARC: Evolved but here’s a list of things i remembered i hate in the OT in no particular order

the elevators

the asari

mark meer’s voice acting in ME1

liara’s writing if you don’t romance her (wtf bioware)…especially considering that the reason i generally DON’T romance her is because in ME1 at least, it feels like an adult dating a teenage girl.

femshep’s romance options and how most of them get fucking shafted to shit in ME3

how heteronormative ME2 was

jacob taylor’s loyalty mission and how racist it was

how racist and lazy the writing for jacob taylor was in general (ofc there are many reasons i dislike jacob in and of itself, but some it can be chalked up to bad writing)

jack’s chuppy ass default outfit in me2 (really bioware??? a woman could have the smallest titties in existence and she still wouldn’t be able to strap ‘em down with just a fucking belt. even if this game was written by mostly men, that’s still dumb as hell)

miranda’s largely unnecessary ass-shots

thane’s death

kai leng

that fact that you can’t call out kaidan for his bullshit cheating accusations in ME3 if you DO choose to romance someone else in ME2 as femshep if you romanced him in ME1, but mshep can do that to ashley (????? BIOWARE!)

the fact that an aro ace shepard it practically impossible to play after a certain point in the series without being a complete dick (and if you play the citadel dlc, impossible as femshep! because if you don’t romance anyone you wake up next to javik! lmao)

the fact that the dlc for the ME2 and 3 literally never goes on sale on pc like it does for the console versions, forcing me to pirate shit i already fucking paid for because i am unwilling to shell out £200+ on this shit again because EA and bioware are lazy money-grubbing fucks thanks ea thanks very much for your business practices

related to the above, but why did they never sell me2 or 3 with all the dlc included? that shit would sell like no one’s business…oh wait, EA…again.

the elevators

Actually I am curious now!

Personally I am sex repulsed ace but I love video game romances because I enjoy seeing what makes those little pixel fellas tick. Plus to me, it's just as much a part of the fantastical adventure story as all the bandit/goblin/demon murders committed by my character.

(Also sorry for not exploring the entire attraction spectrum, I ran out of poll options! Demi folks, consider yourselves part of the ace umbrella)