Can I Just Say How Heartbreaking It Is That Halsin Continuously Doubts Someone Could Love Him? When He

Coming back to Ghoulcy after a long break. Upon rewatching the show again, I honestly feel more strongly than ever that there's gonna be some canon Ghoulcy in the show at some point...

But I wanna clarify what I mean by that...

If that happens, obviously that's gonna create a bit of a love triangle between Lucy, Max and The Ghoul. And honestly, the triangle's probably gonna end up being pretty one-sided. Like I can't say whether I think Lucy will develop feelings for Cooper. But I definitely think its setting it up for Cooper to start having feelings for Lucy. And I think Lucy and Cooper might bang, just because Lucy is one horny lady with not a squeamish bone in her body lol.

Of course, that would definitely complicate things between her and Max even more than they already are. (You know, her dad being the one who blew up Max's home, the fact she offered to have him live in the vault with her but probably won't want to return after what she's learned, Max now being a knight, etc.) And who knows whether they will find each other and end up being together in the end, but...

Whatever the case, I don't think there's going to be a happily ever after for anybody. Not for Lucy and Max and definitely not for Lucy and Cooper. But it's certainly an opportunity for a lot of interesting drama and frankly, as someone who's been playing the Fallout games for 10+ years, I'd honestly be kinda disappointed if there wasn't some kind of human/ghoul relations going on. I mean, it's no more weird or ridiculous than any other absurd piece of lore in the Fallout universe. It's absolutely on brand 100%.

And if you think they won't do it just because they're worried about what people think... I would argue, they incinerated puppies in the beginning of the second episode... I don't think the show gives a shit about how anybody feels lol. The people making it are obviously passionate about the games and being true to the universe they're expanding upon. They've already fully embraced the dark and quirky elements and tone of the games. And they seem pretty cool with the Ghoulcy shippers too haha. So no, I don't think it's delulu to think there might be at least a little somethin' somethin' happening between Lucy and Cooper. Even if it's Cooper just pining hopelessly over her. Obviously, I could be very wrong. But I don't think I am. We'll see what happens, though. I'm sure I will still love the show even if it doesn't, but damn it would be fucking rad if it did lol.

Actually, I do think it's an interesting topic talking about other biotics and how their development would be affected. Since people are comparing biotic abilities, why wouldn't other examples be used?

Is there some sort of forbiddence on people adding to the discussion that helps round out what makes someone more "powerful" than an Asari? Does only raw power matter or should versatility be included? We see Jack using her biotics to leap over enemies and yank the guards into the air with her momentum. We've seen Samara yank a skycar back to herself biotically. We've seen Kaidan admit he can't float down like Falere nor have the minutae of control to unlatch a hatch on the other side.

I'm never really certain what exactly people mean when they say Kaidan is as/more powerful than an Asari. Does that mean he can overpower someone like Morinth even though he says he'd be a goner to an Ardat Yakshi? Can he punch down a YMIR and keep running? Cutscenes of him make that hard to guess because his biotic abilities are rarely ever demonstrated if they're acknowledged.

Mass Effect really just left out the part about Kaidan being as strong and powerful as an Asari when it comes to his biotics. I had to find that out from google and I don’t remember it being mentioned in the game that a Kaidan is actually that powerful. Like I knew he was powerful and skilled but I didn’t know he was Asari level. I don’t know if I just missed that information or what

He’s literally the perfect man oh my god. I couldn’t ask for another. Why is he so perfect ? And like not meaning to shade Ashley but it makes me want to choose Kaidan over her more because he seems to be more of a valuable asset than her with his biotics.

idk my brain does somersault about these two

I've come to describing it as: What we need to find out if we'd want sex with someone is what others complain of as "friendzoning" (aka You must be this friend zoned to have a chance to go on this demisexual ride). Which is NOT an endorsement of being friends in hopes of getting sex. No one owes anyone sex. No one should be friends with an ulterior motive. But it's hard to describe demisexuality without finding an anchor point to something we live with in society. And all too frequently, I've experienced how swiftly friends stop being friends when sex is confirmed to be off the table. Friendly greetings turn cold, plans become empty promises, and laughter becomes silence when you're not interested in sex. How do people find anyone willing to do that attractive enough to fuck?

Sex without attachment is far more prevalent I think than society is willing to acknowledge. Otherwise, we wouldn't have jokes about sex on the third date, the shame of friendzoning, the "expiration date" theme as we age, or the dreaded "frigid" label. There'd never be emphasis of "If you liked it, ya shoulda put a ring on it", "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" And all sorts of "fun" colloquialisms that imply that the temptation of sex is present without the urge to commit to a relationship. Because, why caution others in acquiring commitment first if it's in our nature to only want sex when there are emotional bonds?

Ironically, I think we ought to be de-stigmatizing casual sex and instead be emphasizing consent, safety for health and generally not being a douche to your partners. I get the sense that this sex shaming causes a kind of sociopathic treatment of each other if we're not doing it for the "right" reasons (insert disclaimer about appropriate age being needed to discuss this topic), because it doesn't take long before I'm hearing a tone of disrespect towards anyone who likes casual sex as though they're unworthy of marriage material.

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

reddit was talking about this, but i feel like tumblr could get a scholarly debate going

already seeing "ugh male Rook with Neve in the trailer... that's a LESBIAN" posts on twitter and I'm beating them with a big stick that says "you can HEADCANON whatever you want about anything ever but your HEADCANON is factually incorrect and if it chaps your ass even a little bit when anyone up to and including the literal creators of the character disagrees with your HEADCANON then that's fully a you problem and you should consider developing coping skills about it rather than contributing to this fandom's legendary hostility by policing (even in a manner you'll claim was "joking" when someone stands up for themselvs) people who are only enjoying their own playthrough, headcanon, or ship" and by stick I do mean the block button

I like to headcanon that my Shepard Amara, who's so used to cramped military quarters, was utterly appalled at how much open space in Anderson's apartment was going unused by a single occupant. So she's invited several crewmates to stay with her during shore leave beyond the party and several took her up on the offer like James who laid claim to the bedroom below for the gym equipment and Tali who claimed the one above since Quarians rarely get any private spaces. It's not uncommon for Amara to wake in the morning and walk past someone passed out on her couch or to head downstairs and see another eating breakfast. She's thinking about converting the art gallery and upstairs living room into more bedrooms. It works out for everyone since living space is becoming more and more difficult due to refugees and the apartment is far superior to the standardized accommodations.

How do you think Ghoulcy would’ve went down if she had been there pre-war and they met?👉🏻👈🏻 (assuming this is after he’s separated from barb)

Thanks for your patience on this one, babe. I tried to go more general with the response, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I actually have a fairly specific vision for how these two would have ended up meeting in a pre-war world...

Naturally, I think a Lucy from that era would be from somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Midwest. Vault 33 is sort of supposed to be in/reminiscent of Nebraska based on the projected images of the corn field and everything, right? She'd grow up somewhere dinky, but not too small; big enough to have a few nice amenities and a tight community that adores her and her prominent father. But, much like we see in the show before her dad's exodus from the Vault prompts her to leave, she'd be restless and always secretly pondering what else could be out there for her. Dreaming of the sun on her face, so to speak.

She'd be restless from early on in her youth, from around the time of her mother's death, and no matter how hard she works trying to force herself to feel at peace, she never truly does. Maybe she goes to an in-state college to get her degree when the time comes, gets a small taste of the kind of freedom and variety living in a bigger city can provide and falls in love with it just a little bit. When she goes back home, she idealizes moving somewhere different, being literally anywhere else as she feels like her life is sort of passing her by.

Honestly, I think she'd be exactly the kind of twentysomething that decides she wants to move to one of the coasts to shake things up. She's exactly the type to get involved in some sort of internship or shadowing program, since that would provide some sort of protective plan to her desires to strike out on her own. Or maybe she'd just up and move to Los Angeles on a "What else am I doing with my life?" sort of whim, whatever savings she can scrape together hidden away amongst the few personal things she manages to drag halfway across the country with her. If she fails, she can always go back home, but she knows she'll never forgive herself if she doesn't take more risks and live her life properly while she's young.

Besides, she wants to be married some day, and her home-grown options for candidates aren't exactly impressive. All the prettiest people live in L.A., it seems...maybe she'll find her partner there.

Cooper, on the other hand, would be sworn entirely off of dating in the aftermath of the divorce; between the antagonism that lingers between he and Barb, the uphill battle he's fighting trying to revive his career, and his desire to protect Janey from the fallout of both, he doesn't have the time or proper effort to give to a potential partner. Nor does he have the desire, initially. Frankly, he's incredibly broken up about the (necessary) dissolution of a marriage that he thought he'd be part of forever, to the point that he's sort of operating under the assumption that he'll be single the rest of his days. If he weren't famous, he'd probably just pay for some company on the rare occasion he feels "lonely" enough to desire it and keep it to that, but he's too afraid of ending up an even bigger laughing stock than he feels he's already become. He can perfectly picture the headlines in his mind.

Instead, he spends the better part of a year working insane hours, taking pretty much any gig thrown his way and doing everything he can to cut expenses. Every dollar saved goes into a fund he's saving up to take Barb back to court...as well as a significant chunk he's hoping to eventually use to buy up some out-of-the-way property. He's dissatisfied with the custody agreement they reached during the course of the divorce; true, his irregular and sometimes brutal work schedule doesn't make him an ideal primary custodial parent, but he's pretty desperate to spend every second possible with his child, the knowledge that the world could end at any minute looming large over him, casting a dark shadow. Part of him fantasizes about picking her up for his visitation time and simply not returning her, disappearing somewhere safe. He can perfectly picture the headlines about that, too.

It all wears on him. He knows he's getting older, that he needs to be taking care of himself so he can be around for Janey, but between all the work and all the stress, he's drinking more and sleeping less.

The two meet once, maybe on some set Lucy's managed to find her way onto or something similar. She tries her very best to not absolutely swoon over meeting THE Cooper Howard, already embarrassed by her own enthusiasm; Cooper tries his best to be pleasant and charming, exhausted as he usually is. He finds their interaction strangely refreshing, though, and after that it's like he sees her everywhere. Her rather meager savings have run out even quicker than she had anticipated, so, like most non-wealthy people in L.A., she has multiple jobs and works whatever side gigs she can fit into her schedule. Sometimes that leads her back into his path, and he always wants to say hello, to chat and ask her about herself. Who is she to turn him down?

Eventually, he offers to hire her on to work for him, personally, both impressed by her work ethic and feeling rather sympathetic towards her situation (the fact that he thinks she's beautiful certainly doesn't hurt, but he refuses to look those thoughts in the face). He feels bad that he can't really pay her what he'd like to, what he thinks she's actually worth, but it's significantly more than she was already making between all her other jobs, so she's nothing but grateful. At first, she runs personal errands for him, returns calls he's too busy for, helps him schlep all his stuff back and forth when he works the "cowboy for hire"-type gigs.

Cooper greatly enjoys her company, enjoys once more having someone to help him tackle life's everyday struggles. Slowly, he begins to open up to her a little, allowing her to become privy to more of his personal problems. She hasn't met Janey, not yet, but he begins to talk more and more about her. Lucy has such a kind, empathetic nature that it's hard to not spill your guts to her just a bit. Soon, he realizes that he's developing actual feelings for her beyond appreciation for her physical beauty. Typically, he'd be able to see that his feelings are silently reciprocated, but his self-confidence has taken a pretty significant hit over the last couple years, leaving him feeling like an old creep salivating over his young personal assistant.

Fortunately, he manages to hide it well enough, though Lucy is quite preoccupied by her own thoughts, anyway.

Her own attraction to him is soaked in embarrassed guilt, as well; she already sometimes feels like a charity case with as kind as he is to her, so the crush she's developing feels like it could easily be contributed to his caring nature and his largesse. Besides, she had a bit of a crush on him as a girl, as well. He does often make her feel special, something she isn't used to on this level, and she tries to convince herself she's simply been taken in by the glamor of movie star Cooper Howard. However, the more time she spends alone with him, the more she realizes how physically attracted to him she is, as well. It makes her feel silly; what would a very established, famous, attractive older man want with her, some nobody from nowhere? You can't throw a stone in Los Angeles without hitting a gorgeous twenty-something. Surely if he wanted someone young, she tells herself, he'd have someone young, someone with more to bring to the table.

However, their twin denial and negative self-talk isn't enough to hide the way they see one another forever. Too many early mornings and late nights working together make them rather familiar with one another, and soon they're both far too comfortable in the other's presence for things to go unaddressed. They both try to put it off anyway, until things come to an eventual head.

When this happens, they don't so much as agree to give a relationship a try as fall into one another's arms and decide to think about the consequences in the morning.

Unfortunately, their relationship doesn't only progress from this point. Suddenly, Lucy isn't just his young employee who people theorize may be dating him...she is dating him. Before, the idea of Janey meeting her wasn't such a big deal, even if he secretly already had his eye on her; now, he'll be introducing his daughter to his girlfriend, which feels like a much more significant event. He loves being with her, but he's hyper-aware of how he knows people are going to respond if they decide to go public, how Barb is going to respond, and he finds it all overwhelming. Lucy notices his hesitance, but she misreads it as him being embarrassed of her, unwilling to claim her, and it hurts her feelings. He wants her to feel secure and validated, but he also doesn't want to rush things, knowing he isn't only making decisions about his personal future, and that there are consequences she can't possibly wrap her brain around until she really experiences them.

These two would have a fairly significant uphill battle to fight, all factors considered. He isn't as perfect as she may have once thought, and as mature as she may act, she's still lacking in real life experience, which sometimes limits her perspective. However, I think between Cooper's desire for a family and Lucy's desire to find somewhere she really feels like she belongs/is contributing to, they could manage to iron things out. Their life together may not look like every other nuclear family, especially as she supports him in his fight to see Janey more and he convinces her to give his Bakersfield dream some real thought, but life is what you make it!

I have an assignment due this week, so naturally I’ve spent all day thinking about a relatively minor aspect of Halsin’s characterisation: his sense of humour.

I haven’t often seen Halsin being funny in fanfic, and while there are probably good reasons for that (writers, including me, love to put him in angsty situations – or just PWP – where humour doesn’t necessarily fit) it makes me a little sad, because his sense of humour is something I really love about him. So I thought I’d do a little bit of analysis of his sense of humour as it appears in a few moments in canon.

First up, this comment he makes to Karlach, saying that being in the Underdark ‘dampens one’s sense of fun’ because ‘noises such as laughter tend to attract predators’:

He’s ostensibly talking about the Society having a dampened sense of fun, but of course it’s also an allusion to his own time in the Underdark, and so I think it’s reasonable to read the 'dampened sense of fun' line as referring to himself as well. I have Thoughts about what this quote says in terms of his time with his drow captors and what a formative experience it was for him, but keeping on topic, it points to something that’s backed up by the rest of canon: his sense of humour is dry, it's not performative or showy, and while I think he’s quite often joking he’s not often telling jokes.

Secondly, we have a moment from one of the conversations you can have with him in act 3 about his dislike for the city. He talks about his dream to find a better way where everyone can be cared for, and then he chuckles and says ‘Listen to me, preaching like an initiate in his cups.’

To me, this is quintessential Halsin sense of humour. He’s not telling a joke, he’s not even really trying to make the PC laugh; he’s just poking fun at himself in a wry sort of way. He’s also using humour as a defence mechanism here, I think; he’s minimising the impact of a potential dismissive response from the PC by undercutting his own speech before the PC gets a chance to do it.

Thirdly, we have his interaction with Lae’zel about the chimera:

I know some people seem to take this quote as him seriously admitting he’s fucked a chimera, but I will die on the hill of ‘he was joking’ (a chimera is functionally an animal! it has an INT score of 3! Halsin is canonically on record as uninterested in having sex with actual animals and has the scars to prove it!)

So this is one of the few instances I can remember of Halsin making an outright joke. Note though that it’s still in keeping with his particular sense of humour: it’s dry (to the point where it’s easy to miss that he’s joking at all) and it’s also self-deprecating, in a way: he’s playing with the conception of him as someone who’ll fuck anything that moves, leaning into that characterisation and by doing so, making fun of both it and of himself.

And finally, the other instance I can recall of him outright joking: when the PC tells him he’s quite large for an elf and his response is ‘I am?!’ I really love this one, both because it’s such an obvious example of him deliberately being funny and also because for once, the person he’s poking fun at is the PC (for stating the obvious) rather than himself.

Looking back at these examples, what strikes me is how much his sense of humour shows itself in relation to other people’s assumptions about him. It’s clearly an important way he copes with people misunderstanding him or being dismissive or seeing him as a caricature. Much of the time he seems to be joking to himself rather than anyone else, which makes sense given the interpretation that it’s a defence mechanism rather than a means of connecting with whoever he’s talking to. (I also have a theory that humour is one of the main ways in which he feels safe expressing anger – c.f. the interaction where he tells Shadowheart that she bleats too much – but this post is long enough as it is.)

In any case, I’d be interested to know if anyone else has thoughts on this, or if there are any canon moments I've missed that might contradict these theories.