I've Had Such A Shit Week And I'm Making Another Character I Can Project All Of My Trauma Onto

Alfred: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I believe.

Dick: I lost Damian.

Y/N: How did you LOSE Damian?!

Dick: To be fair, he is very small.

Bruce: Did you have to stab them?

Jason: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Bruce: What did they say?

Jason: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Bruce: That’s fair.

Y/N: *screaming while holding something large.*

Dick: *Chasing Y/N, screaming at them to not throw the large object.*

Jason: *Crouching at the car window, begging Damian not to call Bruce.*

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergancy?

Tim: We locked our baby brother in the car and people are judging us!

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Jason: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Tim: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Y/N: if you want information it is

Dick: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Jason: What are you talking about Dick? You love it here!

Dick: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Damian: You need to be more careful!

Bruce, who was dragged into Damian's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

Damian: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Y/N: Those are bones, Damian.

Damian: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Bruce: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Alfred: Sir, did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

Damian: But what about Y/N?

Jason: Don't worry about them.

Jason: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Tim: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Y/N: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Y/N: I just choose to ignore it.

*Playing house with Damian and Jon.*

Jason, at Jon: You're my significant other.

Jon: Yeah I am!

Jason, at Dick: You're my child.

Dick: *Rolls eyes* Yes boss.

Jason, at Tim: You're my bitch.

Tim: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jason, at Y/N: My bestie.

Y/N: Naturally.

Jason, Damian: HA, GAY!

Damian: Fuck you.

Alfred: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Bruce: You mean you stabbed them?

Alfred: They ran into my knife, sir.

Bruce: Breaking News, Dick has disappointed us.

Tim: Why do you look like that?

Damian, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Tim: Like you’re dead.

Damian: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Alfred: Young master Damian accidentally called Y/N “babe” in front of everyone today.

Damian: *sobs into the floor*

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning, young master.

Y/N: Turn the light back off.

Bruce: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm*

Bruce: And I mean it.

Tim: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Y/N: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Dick: That's because she's a prostitute.

Bruce: Tim, why are you crying?

Tim: This book is so sad!!

Bruce, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dick: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Y/N: Why? It was important.

Dick: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Damian, shrugging: The people need to know.

Y/N, to Jason: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Jason: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Y/N: You just told me you're pregnant.

Damian: Congratulations Jason, you're glowing!

Y/N: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

*When Y/N and Jason were young and new.*

Bruce: Where the devil is Alfred?

Y/N: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Tim: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Jason: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Y/N: All good bro, any time.

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce, can you hear me?

Bruce, standing next to Damian: I’m standing right here.

Damian: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Alfred: Perhaps, the true treasure was friendship all along. Although, I hope not, because I cannot spend friendship on new suits.

Damian: You wanna fight?! You got one!

Y/N: Okay! *raises fists*

*Bruce runs in, scoops Y/N up in their arms, and runs away carrying them because he just didnt want them to fight. Yet.*

Damian:

Damian: What?

Y/N: Any questions?

Dick: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Y/N: Uh, a plan, duh...

Damian: Dick, chill, I know it’s weird, but Y/N has a point.

Dick:

Dick: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

*Alternatively*

Joker: Any questions?

Y/N: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Joker: Uh, a plan, duh...

Harley: Y/N, chill, I know it’s weird, but Joker has a point.

Y/N:

Y/N: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Bruce, answering the phone: Hello?

Damian: It’s Damian.

Bruce: What did they do this time?

Damian: No, it’s me, Damian. It’s actually me.

Bruce: What did you do this time?

Dick: Everyone thinks you suck.

Joker: I think you have the wrong number…

Dick: Damian?

Joker: Nope. Joker.

Dick: Well, you probably suck too…

Y/N: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Tim: And?

Y/N: And you are.

PLEASE

HUSKER IS TWEAKING OVER VAGGIE THROWING ANGEL IM ACTUALLY SOBBING

Huskerdust🔛🔝

• . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . •

Characters I write for:

DC:

Bruce Wayne

Dick Greyson

Jason Todd

Tim Drake

Older!Damian Wayne (romantic)

Damian Wayne (platonic)

Batfam (platonic)

Sam & Max: Freelance Police

Sam (the detective dog)

Max (the rambunctious rabbit)

Welcome Home!:

Wally Darling

Julie Joyful

Barnaby B. Beagle

Poppy Partridge

Frank Frankly

Sally Starlet

Eddie Dear

Howdy Pillar

The Amazing Digital Circus:

Caine

Pomni

Jax

Ragatha

Gangle

Kinger

Zooble

Bubble

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Leonardo (2012)

Donatello (2012)

Raphael (2012)

Michalangelo (2012)

Leonardo (Rise)

Donatello (Rise)

Raphael (Rise)

Michelangelo (Rise)

Obey Me(OG! + NB):

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

Barbatos

Simeon

Mestopho

Thirteen

Rapheal

Luke(strictly platonic)

Hazbin Hotel:

Alastor Altruist

Lucifer Magne

Valentino

Vox

Husker

Angel Dust

Sir Pentious

Helluva Boss:

Blitzø

Stolas

Stolitz

Fizzarolli

Asmodeus

Fizzmodeus

Striker

Chaz

Barbie Wire

Cult of the Lamb:

Lambert

Leshy

Heket

Kallamar

Shamura

Narinder

Slashers:

Micheal Myers

Micheal Myers(RZ)

Jason Vorhees

Freddy Krueger

Charles Lee Ray

Chucky^

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Billy + Stu

Billy Lenz

Bubba Sawyer

Thomas Hewitt

Leslie Vernon

Hannibal Lecter

Asa Emory

Nubbins Sawyer

Chop-Top Sawyer

Bo(Bauregard lol) Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Pennywise(1990)

Pennywise(2017)

What I will do:

One Shots

Headcannons

Fluff

Incorrect Quotes

Angst

Smut (in some cases)

LGBTQ+

What I will not do:

Smut (in underage characters or asexual characters)

Trans (Either character or reader. My reasoning for this is that I know noone who is trans and I have no experience with it, I don't want to offend anyone if I accidently use a harmful stereotype or wrong information.)

Incest

R*pe

S/A (I have had trauma from S/A so please forgive me for not wanting to write about it even out of context)

Stories

(Intense) Yandere

My mum did not js tell me she's gonna be going out so I gotta drive to the shop to get food, IVE NOT GOT A DRIVERS LICENCE TF😭

Sam and Max HC

★≈'

Sam, who whines in his sleep when you arent with him, clutching onto pillows and blankets to find you in the mass of 3 bodies and duvets.

Max, who can't sleep without you there, whether he has the other or not, Max who needs you at all times, to be his and Sam's pillar.

Sam, who needs you to play poker, his poker face being a flustered smile, or maybe, he's just looking at you.

Max, who will talk your ears off, loving the time even if you drift off or pay him no notice, just having you there. Listening.

Sam, who would drive you anywhere, whether he needs the DeSoto or not. The.. growling DeSoto.

Max, who can't be trusted to drive, laying over yours or Sam's laps gleefully, living his happy little life.

Sam, who would spoil you and Max to no end, as much as he bank account will let him, which is quite alot, considering what they do to criminals. (They steal their wallets)

Max, who loves being spoiled by you and/or Sam, and repays you both in genuine, non aggressive love, no matter what he holds his standards about love to.

Max, who cries when you or Sam beat him in poker. (he eats his own cards.)

Sam, who sulks when you beat him in poker, before you let him have a pity win. (He also lets Max eat his cards.)

Max, who will jump onto your shoulders, just to give you a 'passionate' he bites you kiss.

Sam, who nuzzles his wet nose into yours and licks your cheek, sleeping over your lap, showing genuine passion for your shared relationship.

They, who love you as much as they could. They, who have never loved anyone as much as they love you and eachother. They, who would do anything for you, anything.

Hello 👋, I hope you're doing well..

My name is Mahmoud, and I'm a 17-year-old from Gaza. The ongoing war has devastated my city, destroyed my school, and made daily life incredibly challenging.

Despite these hardships, I'm determined to continue my education and build a better future. I've been given a chance to study abroad, but I need help to cover the costs of leaving Gaza, as well as living expenses and other essentials abroad once the crossing opens.. 🙏

If you can, please consider donating or sharing, your kindness can truly make a difference, and thanks for your time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/bd3ccf0b 🔗

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Mahmoud from Gaza Pursue His Dreams, organized by Mazin Fakak

Hello, my name is Mahmoud Abu Swierh, and I am a 17-year-old from Al-Nuseirat in … Mazin Fakak needs your support for Help Mahmoud from Gaza

yes

the 2 things every sam&max artist agrees on:

freelance husbands

will wood music good

I feel like this song and I don't know how to describe it

Hello, 🌹🇵🇸🍉

I hope you are well.

Could you please help me reblog the post on my account to save my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏

I am new to Tumblr and also to GoFundMe.🙏

I hope you can support and stand by me at the beginning .

Thank you ♥️ .

---

🌹🇵🇸🍉

Barnaby. B. Beagle Drabble

Platonic child!reader ≈` *

Requested by @pastel-pandoll

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?" His heavy accent runs thick as he looks at the much smaller puppet from his spot on balancing on a ball.

"Why do you do what you do?" The small child puppet asks softly, looking down while kicking the felt grass which surrounded their shoes.

"Don't you get.. bored?" They asked in an even softer tone, almost like they were scared to hurt the large dogs feelings.

"'Course not, kid!" The large dog exclaims, jumping off the ball haphazardly, niether him nor the child puppet questioning and it just.. rolls down the hill. Out of sight, out of reach.

"Why d'ya ask?" He put his large, blue paws on his uncovered hips, his body easily towering over the smaller puppet.

"I guess I just can't imagine doing the same thing.. forever." The child reveals, solemly looking off as the sunshine covered ball rolls down the grassy hill. They lived in a practical paradise. An artificial one.

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?"

"I'm bored."