Alfred Pennyworth - Blog Posts

Y'all hear me out again..

Batfam x neglected P5 Joker!M Reader

Reader gets sent to Bruce because of the assault incident and has to complete the rest of his high school years while living witht he Wayne's.

And let's be honest the things that happens in Peronsa 5 seem like that things that would happen in Gotham😭😭

Like when you really think about it, IT WORKS SO WELL TOGETHER.

Plzzz somebody @ me is y'all make this😩😩

I just need some fics where this it the concept or the kids and Alfred finding out they are the reason he is still here. Then freaking out because what do you mean the man who seems so unshakable was that close to ending it Then if we were just slightly off when I had time we wouldn't have him anymore. Because what if they were just a few minutes late could they not have their dad/son anymore and how good at hiding his pain is to the point they didn't see for what it was.

Ugh scenarios where Bruce is literally suicidal, and has made many attempts, but keeps getting interrupted by his kids and alfred but they don't realise what he was going to do?and they don't know his mental state was that bad?? Sign me up cause I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort

13 yr old Bruce about to slit his throat in the bathroom, but alfred comes out of nowhere and tells him dinner is ready, he made his favourite cause he saw he looked off recently, and Bruce just goes out calmly and hugs him super tight?? Bruce, about to make a decision to end his life after he's all done raising dick (after he becomes nightwing) and knows that dick is set on the right path now and going to crime alley where his parents were shot to end it but ends up meeting jason instead?? After jason when he tied up all loose ends, closed cases, secured gotham good enough, About to go on patrol for one last time, then after he'll jump off, but then meets tim that evening saying he knows who he is?? Meeting cass just when he was planning to do it cause he genuinely hated himself, but seeing so many similarities between him and cass, knowing she sees them too and scared that after he suicides she'll get those ideas too cause they're so similar? Decides to try to help her?? Meeting nightwing when he was going to jump off cause dick wanted to surprise him from blud and he just thought Bruce was brooding?? getting a call from Damain in the middle of the day when he was about to stage a car crash and listens as damian (mad at him) asks him to come to the school to pick him up cause he got suspended for 2 days for knocking out a student for being racist.

CAN U IMAGINE A CONFRONTATION WHERE BRUCE THOUGHT THEY ALREADY KNEW?? AND HES TAKING THIS CASUAL BUT THEYRE FUCKING NOT??

I’m gonna be writing a fic to get my mind off of the election, don’t mind me-

Headcannon that due to diligently monitoring the Wayne family’s media image, Alfred is chronically online, and as such, is constantly dropping slang into conversation like-

(Over the coms)

Batman: Alfred, what’s the update on the Arkham situation?

Alfred: *Ahem* Unfortunately sir, it is as they say- ‘we’re cooked’

Collective groans from Tim, Dick, and Jason over the coms

Batman: …Huh?

Jason: *muttering* I knew I should’ve stayed outa this one…

Damian: I don’t understand, what are we cooking?

Alfred: It’s giving ‘failure era’, sir-

Dick: Damn it!

Tim: We really are cooked

Damian: What does that -?

Alfred: It’s lowkey not-

Batman: In English Alfred. Please.

Alfred: *Sigh* My apologies, sir. The Joker has escaped.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.

*whole family is going out for dinner*

Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.

Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?

Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.

Bruce: oh... well... oops?

Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.

Bruce: ...

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!

Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?

Damian: tt useless.

Tim:... you little-

Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.

Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.

...

Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.

Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.

Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.

*leaves to get the sledgehammer*

*a couple minutes later.*

Bruce: how... how did you?

*Cass standing next to the open door*

Cass: credit card!

Jason: million dollar security system my ass.

Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War

Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.

Previously: Tim then builds a team...

The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.

It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".

Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.

The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....

By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.

God help poor Alfred.

Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".

Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.

I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Yes I know its supposed to hurt, yes I know there are rough patches, yes I know that’s not how it happens, yes I know it’s not realistic, it’s not gritty, yes I know that’s not what fate, the gods, the writers say. Yes and yes and yes I know I know I promise you I know-

But what if

things got better?

things could get better?

what if love didn’t always have to bleed?

what if pain wasn’t inherently more valuable than care?

what if those who thought themselves out of reach still had unconditional love?

what if those trying their best to shoulder the burdens of responsibility got to share the weight?

what if family was supportive, and protective?

what if they grew, what if they learned?

what if they got to get up the next day and keep going, not the same as before, but still getting through this?

what if they weren’t alone? not by circumstance, but by choice?

what if they could heal and you could too?

I know that’s not how it ends. I know it ends in pain and tears and a thousand split branches telling different stories, few of them any kind of joyful.

But maybe it doesn’t have to.

Maybe we pick the branch that bends skywards. Maybe that’s what we need.

Hope is a decision. Found family is deliberate.

Ultimately it’s your choice.

Play in the sand.

I don’t want mine to be full of glass.

I've been seeing a thing or two about a DC au where the justice leage, specifically Batman/Bruce is a patient at a mental asylum and all his villans are just workers at the asylum.

But what about the bat family? What about Alfred? What about Cat Woman?

Here's my take on it:

Alfred is a family friend of the Wayne's and basically like an uncle to Bruce before Bruce's parents died (which i headcannon for this universe that they died in a fire that left Bruce scarred and Bruce loved superheros because i think it ties to his delusions)

And Alfred visits Bruce as often as he can, making sure to try and be nice to him, like bringing him paperdolls and crayons to draw with under the supervision of the doctors at the mental asylum.

And those paperdolls? They're the bat family alright.

Every single doll is a member of the bat family, with Bruce imagening how they are his kids that help him fight off 'his villans' and is very protective of, only letting Alfred and Cat Woman (who's another doctor at the asylum that is nice to him and he views her as an okay most of the time) and will always carry them around with him, imagening and caring for them like they are real children, but they are all delusions with a little bit of Bruce's personality and traits from when he was younger and not crazy.

And also, Jason's death was just Dr. Jack Napier (the Joker) aciddently ripping the paper doll of Jason when Bruce and Jack got into a scuffle, and because of Bruce's delusions, they decided (behind Jack's back, specifically Selina Kyle {who's Cat woman} decided to do this after they all saw how distressed and more mentally unstable Bruce got) to give Bruce more paper dolls and fix up Jason before they gave it all back to Bruce.

And i'll leave it at that, i'll let you all give your own thoughts about it. :)

Tim, you wear eye-searing spandex on stealth missions.

The only accurate versions of Batman are stinky lil sad boy emo bruce who listens to nirvanna in the dark and applies eyeliner without a mirror, and super dilf Bruce Wayne who adopts 12 new orphans a day.

That will be all.

I’ve reblogged the Black butler characters, and now I reblog the Gotham characters - do you see that I am easily amused?

No joke, these are so accurate.

It’s nice to see some of the smaller, season 1 era characters, like Gertrude - I often get caught up in the season 4-5 section, especially with the whole Jerome and Jeremiah thing. Am currently rewatching season 2 on TV (because it’s airing on TV for some reason), and I forget how much I love this show!

silly thingy for pride month hehe :3

Don’t get me wrong I love all the emo versions of Batman in modern adaptations where’s he’s all broody and just sits alone in a cave at night because ✨vibes✨ but one day I hope we see the comic accurate bat dad who adopts every stray child he meets and has movie nights with the justice league

Bruce, after seeing Jason walking around at some point between his death and his return to the manor: I swear, Alfred, he's here

Alfred: master Bruce, I'm sorry. I know his death meant a lot to you, but it's time to face the truth, Jason Todd is dead and won't be coming back

Jason, standing right outside the window watching them from the dark of night:

Billy Batson, The Fill in for Robin. (WIP)

In all honesty Bruce had never really intended for Billy to always be a substitute for when Damian was sick or not available to go out as Robin. It just so happened that Billy was almost Always available to fill in as Robin.

Usually he would only have Billy fill in when none of his other children were patrolling, he didn’t need to hear them complaining about him adopting another Black haired Blue eyed child. (He tried it didn’t work) but unfortunately Dick decided to suit up that night and ended up running into Billy and Bruce, Well Robin and Batman.

At First Dick been shocked that there was another Robin, Did Damian know? Did Alfred know was honestly the more important question. Of course he knew he was most likely the one who made another costume for the poor kid!

The first Always!AU Fic is finally out

Or at least half a chapter-

And with that I got anxious and already made a drawing based on the chapter that is still halfway through. Oh no, two drawings, not just one.

Look how cute baby Bruce and baby Kate are <<33333

The fic

A scene where batboys was causing chaos on Wayne Manor, while Alfred and Bruce had enough for it :)

I'm done drawing, so now I'm just sitting here and waiting for someone to tell me the lore behind this chaos

I know everyone says that either Tim or Bruce have the worst sleep skedules in the family but... counter argument. Alfred. He's up whenever someone needs him, I'm actually convinced he doesn't need sleep.

Bruce saying "Don't make me call Alfred." Is like the equivalent of a dad saying "Don't make me call your mother." And it's so funny to me 🤣🤣

Wow, I really like that old Batman storyline where a beloved member of the family is killed and everyone is devastated, only for the guy to come back from the dead and return to Gotham, blaming Batman and Robin for his death.

I'm so glad they cured him of his induced psychosis and he rejoined the family with only the occasional relapse into supervillainy.

What? Red Hood who? No, I'm talking about Alfred Pennyworth.

Imagine if, when Bruce figured out that Jason was alive and probably the Red Hood, he put on his Matches Malone fit and started spreading rumors.

"Hood? Aw, yeah, that's The Outsider's grandson. Yeah, him, he retired ages ago. He was a legend, though, right? Really gave the Bats a poundin'. Hey, Outsider's worried about his grandkid, though; thinks there might be someone else pulling the strings, yeah? Kid went missing for awhile, showed back up with all this money, all this tech. The family's worried. Outsider would pay for information. Gotham's gotta protect her own, right? And no one wants ol' Outsider to come outta retirement..."

Jason would be so??? Confused??? And upset??? That the older goons are starting to mention that he should talk to his grandfather??? That they keep mentioning him with hushed tones and respectful whispers? Alfie's worth it, of course, but why do they think he has anything to do with a vanished villain like Outsider?

I tried the TikTok AI challenge with DC characters pt 2

yes…also ironic that Alfred is ‘Father of fathers’ seeing that he abandoned and ignore the existence of his daughter

BatFamily as a ruling Pantheon: Gods of Gotham

Bruce/Batman:

Names/Epithets - Brix, Father Willow, The Dark Knight, The Night King, Guardian God, Crusader, Phantom Lord, Saint Brix of Gotham, Father of Gotham, Master of Caves, God of Justice, Comforter of Innocents, King of Shadows, Watcher, God of the Vigil, White Eye, Whose Voice Rumbles Like Thunder

Patronages- Protection, Adoption and Orphans, Secrets, Revelations, Detectives, Night time, Mercy, Charity, Wealth, Justice, Travel, Dual Identities, Seduction, Mentally Ill People, Gadgetry, Martial Arts, vigilantism, Insomniacs, First Watch, Alleys

Symbols/Attributes- bats, cowls, armors, throwing blades, the colors Black and Grey, gold coins

Offerings/Prayers- usually take place in caves and at night for rituals. He does not ask his followers for sacrifces of their money, food, blood or anything of the like. In fact, such a thing offends this deity. Brix is a generous god and a fiercly protective one. He would not see mortals go without for him to provide protection or enact justice on their behalf. He doesn't want anything material from his followers because he loves the Gothamite People unconditionally. So what does he ask for when they petition him? Not much usually. However, every now and then comes a mortal with... well, a past. One they aren't proud of. All he asks is that they confess and commit themselves to a path of redemption. Even better if they perform charitable acts in his name. That doesn't mean he is an easy god to work with. In fact, he's often blunt and critical in his judgements. And for those seeking to learn his mysteries in ways of combat, the initiation process is grueling and brutal. His monks and priests are among the most feared in the world for this reason. He will also grant special blessings to those who can tell him something he doesn't already know. He is wrathful and violent toward those who threaten the Gothamite civilization. He enjoys when his followers bring things for him to give to the other members of the pantheon as his children tend to enjoy gifts. He is often at odds with other gods within the city- particularly the Demon Clown God. In times of great peril, lanterns that light in the shape of a bat in the sky will summon him instantly.

Dick/Nightwing:

Names/Epithets- Rikhart, Rik, The First Robin, He of the Mantle, The Blue Feathered God, The First Titan, First Son, The Gray Son, Blood of Bludhaven, Prince of Two Cities, Blue Bird Prince, The Night Wing, The Trapeze God, Rope Walker

Patronages- Circuses, Acrobats, Robins, Fraternities, First Borns, Strategy, Peace, Joy, Gatherings, Unity, Leaders, Beauty, Performers, Compassion, Romance

Symbols/Attributes- The Colors Blue, Red and Black for his older form/ the colors red, green and yellow for his child form. Fighting staffs, Torches, Batons, birds, mirrors (for vanity), tents, tightropes, nests.

Offerings/Prayers- You might make offerings to Rickart at the tops of towers, or you can make a tent to commune with him. He's typically a joyful god although his temper may strike if he feels volatile. His feelings toward Brix may be positive or negative with any shift in the wind so be careful to do proper divination if you plan to invoke father and son together. It can be incredibly powerful energy for better or worse. Same if you plan to invoke Rickart with any of his brothers. Know that if you require the protection of the entire pantheon, however, they will all put their differences aside for the sake of Gothamites- and Bludhavenites in his case. The best way to earn Rickart's favor is to perform for him. Bonus points and extra blessings if you have already proven yourself capable of handling workings with one of his brother gods or worse- his father. This particular god will manifest a physical form to lay with mortals but it must be an act done and offered willingly if the mortal is impressive in both beauty and skill. Most people come to Rickart before the others as he is known as "The Nice One". Make no mistake, his kindness is by no means weakness. He is kind because he can afford to be. His priests are among the most loyal and devoted and he has temples in Gotham and Bludhaven where performances are known to happen regularly.

Jason/Redhood:

Names/Epithets- Iasonas, The Phoenix God, The Rebellious Prince, Raging God, The Heart of Gotham, He Who Bleeds Eternally, Lord of Thieves, The Accuser, Healer of Souls, Dual Bladed One, Red Hooded One, Iasonas White Lock, Master of the Pistol, Severer of Heads, The Executioner, The Poet, Master of the Word, Blood Scribe

Patronages- Necromancers, Near Death Experiences, Straight up death experiences, Death, Judgment, Retribution, Writing and Literature, Libraries, Graveyards, Funerals, Books, Theaters, Poor people, Drug Addicts, Prostitutes, Thieves, Magic, Torture Victims, Runaways, The Homeless, Automatic Writing, Mediums

Symbols/Attributes - Guns, Pens, Books, Hoods/Masks, Dual Blades, Grave Markers, Coffins, the colors red and black. Do not invoke the red, yellow and green of his younger self it will only anger him. Typewriters, Resurrection Sigil

Offerings/Prayers- You may make offerings to this god in graveyards, cemeteries or mosoleums. You may also pray to him in libraries and schools. He is a complex god, often oversimplified to his more violent traits. While he may respond neutrally to this, his favorite prayers are those made in the libraries. If you wish to be proficient as a writer or to discover knew information through sacred texts, he will help you. Appeal to him by reading him something you wrote or from an excerpt of something commonly known to be his favorite. For more violent petitions, you may make your case to him and ask this God to avenge you in the event of wrong doing against you. He will act swiftly. Be certain that you want your enemies dead if you choose to petition this god for such things and be aware an offering of blood may be required. He may also assist in Resurrection. He has a complex relationship with his family of deities. Do divination when invoking him with any of them but usually Damasus is a safe bet. Iasonas has a soft spot for poor, needy and generally in distress people. This god will not abandon you. Just be mindful of his violent methods. He may also possess his more advanced followers to write through them if they possess the gift of automatic writing and his priests are often highly skilled scribes and mages as he is Magic itself.

Tim/Red Robin:

Names/Epithets- Timotheos, The Cardinal God, Red One, Lord of Genius, Prince of Reason, The Observer, The Judge, Master of Principle, Commander of Order, Once Clown Twice Bird, The Abandoned One, Lord of Substitutions, The Follower, Rescuer, Sacrifice God, Tech Lord, Gotham's Mourner, The Grand Architect, Keeper of Record, Lord of Time, The First Prophet

Patronages- Inventors, Businesses, Technology, Neglected Children, Teachers, Martyrs, Spies, Photographers, Sculptors, Record Keepers, Archives, Cleanliness, Hierarchies, Government, Bisexuals, Mourning, Architecture, Historians, Time Travellers, Xenophiles, Artificial Intelligence, Museums, Divination and Prophecy

Symbols/Attributes- the colors red, black and yellow. bo staffs, keyboards, capes, gavels, wreaths, flowers, hourglass, clocks, temple symbol, pillars, compasses, maps, cameras, sculptor tools, cardinals, vehicles, Tarot Cards, Bones, Winter, Cycles, The Seasons

Offerings/Prayers- There are many places and ways one might commune with Timotheos: clock towers, ancient ruins, architectural marvels which have stood the test of time, in computer programs that are plugged into Gotham's magical energetic grid, in Museums etc. Your safest bet is one of his temples, though. He is a calculating and reasonable god, albeit a rigid one. Very set in his ways, that one. This god has a distinct set of right and wrong and yet- he can be quite mysterious in that he often acts in ways which do not make sense to others, even his fellow gods- usually because he knows something they dont. While it may seem this deity is an adherent of "my way or the high way", he does feel immense compassion for Gothamites and particularly those who feel abandoned. He was once a lonely god and will strive to provide support to those in need. To gain his favor, providing him with artifacts from far off places, building temples of beauty and durability are a good start. He enjoys when his followers keep his altars pristine. His priests are diverse. Some are able to slip through time and do work for him. Others are prophets who share visions with Gothamites who will hear. Others are Spies within historic secret societies deeply involved in government agencies. You never see his devotees coming and he likes it that way. He does enjoy flowers here and there but they must be removed when they begin to wilt or lose fragrance. Once blessed, dried petals may be reused by devotees for cleansing spiritual baths. When angered, he may change the weather or throw the seasons out of wack to express his displeasure with the mortal world. He may set it to rights when appeased. He is perhaps the brother god with the least conflict with Brix, their Father.

Damian/Robin:

Names/Epithets- Damasus, Blood of Brix, The Illustrator, Prince of Assassins, Sadīq Al-Hayawānāt or Friend of the Animals, The Half Foreign God, Beast of Gotham, The Supreme Artiste, Sword Master, Prince of the World, Child of the Wind/ Whose Mother is like Wind, Inheritor of the Earth, The Painting God, The Child Who Never Was and Always Will Be, Canvas Born, Healer of Harms, The Last Betrayer, The Redeemer, God of Truth, The Cultivator

Patronages- Animals, Asassins, Painters, Illustrators, Foreigners, Combat, Swordsmanship, Children Born Nonconsensually, Blood Children, Child Assassins, Priestshoods, Secret Societies, War, Vegetarians, Doctors/Healers, Farmers and Agriculture, Nature

Symbols/Atrributes- Swords, Dogs, Cats, Robins, Trees, a Wind Sigil. Green, Yellow, Red, Grey and Black. Paint Brushes, Pencils, Blank Canvases, Pottery, Hieroglyphs, Scriptures, Cows, Turkeys, Fruits, Crops, baskets, wheat, pollen

Offerings/Prayers- You may find him in the trees, in the fields, in the mountains- anywhere you may find animal life... you may even whisper his name to the winds and he will hear. His arrival is swift and he will demand your reasons for summoning. Do not waste this deity's time or the consequences will be brutal and swift as his blade. The love he shows toward the beasts of the Earth is legendary. If you wish to earn his favor you may offer him a new pet. He bestows blessings upon those who rescue and protect animals in his name. Many sanctuaries are named for him. His name is often invoked when putting injured animals out of their misery with prayers that their souls be kept under his care. He appreciates The Arts and will also accept artworks and paints, canvases, pencils, parchment etc. You may present him offerings of drink in ornate pottery. He is complex like his family and will respond differently to being invoked with them. Divination prior to invocation with other members of the family is a must. However, your safest bet is to invoke him with his brother, Iasonas. This god refuses to lie and will punish those who attempt to decieve him. His anger takes the form of tornados and hurricanes. Harsh as he may be, he only kills when he feels fully justified and with intention- remembering the guilt of having once killed Rikhart on accident, angering Brix, before Iasonas aided him in resurrecting their brother and restoring their family. As such, he has since also been a healing god and will provide healing to the sick and ailing. His sigil is at the entrance of most hospitals and many of those thought to have uncurable ailments have been healed in his main temple where feeding the cats is common practice. His priests are notorious for being highly skilled combatants. His devotees often include dog trainers, whose canines are feroocious in battle. Horseback riders are also included among his followers. One time, someone betrayed their oath to Damasus so severely and disrespectfully that he caused them to be trampled to death in a stampede. Do NOT offer this deity meat as it offends him. You may prepare cooked vegetable dishes, offer raw fruits, nectars, and cruelty free sweets. He keeps Gotham's crops fruitful for this purpose- answering the prayers of farmers. He often requires Timotheos to assist him with this as his older brother controls the seasons.

Cassandra/Black Bat:

Names/Epithets- Kekasmai, Kassandra, Moon Princess, Mistress of Silence, Goddess of Perception, Lady of Illusion, The Dissolver, The Preserver, Sweetness of Brix, The Unseen One, The Swift Bat, Muse of Gotham, Mistress of Song, Dancing Lady, Feasting One, The Shadow, Mistress of the Tides, Our Lady of Reflection, Princess of Promise, One with the Sight

Patronages- First Responders, Psychologists, Neurodivergents, Nonverbal people, child abuse survivors, Child Soldiers, Liars, Comedians, Sports, Feasts, Restaurants, Cooks, Memory, Mimicry, Learning and Students, Oaths, Intuition, Water, Telepaths, Empaths, Swimmers. Dancers- and by extension, music/musicians. Rehabilitation. Daughters and Sisters, Sororities. Martial Arts, Astronomers, Astrologers

Symbols/Attributes- A bat symbol, the color black, the Moon, Mirrors (for reflection), Dolphins, Whales, comedy and tragedy masks, music notes, a lyre, the lyra constellation, monkeys, spiders, eyes, crystal balls, stars, telescopes

Offerings/Prayers- This goddess is perhaps the most elusive when it comes to gaining a direct audience. She rarely strays from her father's side- and usually communing with her means invoking Brix first. The Father of Gotham is rather protective of his only daughter. Not that she is incapable- in fact, she is perhaps among the most powerful of her siblings- in combat at least, and capable of causing great storms and tsunamis when angered although it is rare. She is not easily decieved either and can sniff out the true intentions of any who call upon them- which Brix finds incredibly helpful when it comes to dealing with Gods from other pantheons. She has more priestesses than priests but she welcomes any devotees who devote themselves to the Way of the Bat. The pantheon is undoubtedly a family, albeit a turbulent one. And this highlights her unyielding loyalty to her father. She takes oaths quite seriously for this reason and will condemn those who break them. Unlike her father, however, she does accept material offerings for her own benefit. Bowls of purified water and candles which blow out when she arrives. She is also a hungry goddess. Feed her well in her sacred spaces: meats, cheeses, breads, vegetables, fruits, anything of the like. In the event that you manage to get an audience with her alone, be warned that she may not be as restrained with her energy. She is, at least the more patient one after Rikhart and will listen and understand the best. This has made her a great mediator, not only within the pantheon, but between it and others. If your first appeal was denied and you felt it was unjust, a direct audience and proof of wrongdoing with her will usually solve the issue. But if the initial denial was jusified, she enacts twice the punishment for the insolence.

Duke/Signal:

Names/Epithets- Dux, Lord of the Day, The Sun Prince, The Uniter, Lord of Revolution, He Who Answers, Ghost Prince, Master of Light and Shadow, The Star of Gotham, He Upon Whom Gotham Rises and Sets, The Greeting and Farewell God, Morning and Evening Star, The Shining One

Patronages- Revolutions, Uprisings, Puzzles and Riddles, metas of Gotham, Films, Codes, Leadership, Militias, Guerilla Fighters, Rebels, Protection, Liberation movements, Freedom Fighters, Chess Players, Pool Players, Mathematics, Games, Electricity and Electricians, Lights of all kinds, Electric Storms and Lightning

Symbols/Attributes- The Sun, the color yellow, nunchakus, puzzle boxes, rubix cubes, mathematical symbols, an upside down question mark, a light bulb, a thunderbolt, sun dial

Offerings/Prayers- 90% of the time this god is only active during the day. When the Sun is still in the sky is the optimal time to build an altar and commune with him. Or you can visit one of his sun temples! The only times you may experience him at night is during a storm where the lightning is abundant. It means he is communing with other members of the Pantheon and can be reached- but that also requires a lightning rod and everyone doesn't have that on hand. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until morning. Dux is incredibly formidable as the sole protector of Gotham during the day, earning him high regard from the rest of his pantheon. He is perfect to summon as a group or army if you can convince him that your cause is worthy. He will always lead you to victory. He's also perfect for cracking codes and solving Mysteries and deeply enjoys puzzles and riddles. If you wish to offer him something, you may give him a riddle to solve and add to his collection or you must satisfy him by solving a riddle he has for you. You may also gift him puzzles. One offering he wished he recieved more is glass lamps in various colors, so his devotees will not be left in the dark in his absence during the night time hours. He's a god of ambiance. Win against him in chess and recieve a blessing! His devotees and priests tend to be large groups of liberationists. They have power in numbers and he has the most direct devotees.

Alfred💖:

Names/Epithets- Ælfræd, The God Keeper, Strength of Brix, The Attending God, Warmth of Gotham, Lord of Shelter, Master of the Hearth, God of Manners, One Whose Aim is True, God of Rest, With Whom Gods and Men Recover, God of Devotion, The Elder God, Master of the Needle, Father of Fathers, The Mender

Patronages- Advisors, Public Servants, Butlers, Adoptive Fathers, Hunters, Snipers, Surgeons, Paramedics, Physical Therapists, Combat Medics, Actors, Security, Fidelity, Domestic Arts and Sciences, Home and Hearth, Etiquette, Fire, Shooting Ranges, Property, Communications, Disabled People, Textiles and Sewing, Knitting

Symbols/Atrributes- Two Rifles crossed in an X. A white glove, a flame, a tea leaf, a Silver Spoon, Feathers, a sewing needle

Offerings/Prayers- This is a God who mainly attends to Brix and his children. However, there are people in the world who have need of him- mainly because they are much like him. So, the best place to gain audience with him is your very own home. He is the only god it is recommended to do this with. It's better if you have a fire place but a simple candle will work as well. You may offer him tea and show him proper hospitality when his presence enters your home. Manners are very important to Ælfræd and he will not tolerate rudeness. Be mindful, lest the fire you used to summon him somehow cause a housefire. That said, should you come with a worthy request, he is normally a last resort to getting the rest of the pantheon on board. If you perform domestic duties well and the space is to his liking he will bless your home with protection. His devotees range from housewives to a secret order of butlers and medical professionals who have intelligence affiliations.

So, this is like really delayed, but here:

Have your fanart :] sorry it took so long and pic quality is shit, but I wanted everyone to know I didn't, like, ignore it or anything. Enjoy 🐱

inaccurate Batfam quotes #35

The Batboys Ranked for how rebellious they are.

Starting at number one: Timmy Drakeson.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Isn't Jason the most rebellious?" No. No he is not. Timmothy fucking Drake is a powerhouse of untapped chaos and a goldmind of comedic genius, just look at the iconic Truth or Dare pannel where he was dared to take off his mask. He did so and underneath his mask, was another mask. Secndly, he doesn't give a shrap about the "Protect ID" rule. Also, he was the one that diliberatly went out of his way to find out Batmans Identity by stalking him and taking lots of photos, sneaking out at night and throwing himself into fights even just to get information. Plus, he 100% discreetly shares Batmans weaknesses to the rest of the league because it's "unfair for him to have a strategic plan against them without them having some way to get through to him".

Number two: Terry McGinnis.

Need I say more? If there's anyone who dislikes supers more than Bats himself, it's this guy. But Duke is ok in his book.

Number Three: Dick Grayson.

He left the fam and even the mantle of Robin, which meaned so much to him, to find his own path and had diliberatly made it so that Bruce knew him leaving was all his fault. He even neglected his own "Brothers" somewhat because he didn't want to see that man up until Jason died.

Speaking of, Number four: Jason Todd.

To be Honest, not that rebellious. Sure, he's kinda edgy, but it's a good look for him. Really good. Do I simp for Todd? Hell yes, I do. The actions that lead to him going burserk honestly, not his fault. He was hyped up on the glorified pool water and felt betrayed from the very people who took him in. He understood that when one robin leaves, another steps up because Bruce has issues with the 'sad orphan eyes'. He just can't help himself. But the Laz made his views boggled so he went cray. A good kind of Cray. I don't blame him for being upset about the ordeal. I'd slap the shit outta Bruce.

Okay so hear me out... Five: Alfred.

We all love our main man, glue of the family butler. But on multiple occasions Alfie has stated he would violate the "no kill rule" to protect his charges and honestly, what a King. Pop off, Pennyworth. He loves Bruce, but he puts this grown man in time out and I don't blame him. the guy makes questionable moral decisions and that's coming from a diagnosed psychotic. We stan Alfie✨

Number Six: Damian.

We all know that this little boy got some mommy issues here and some daddy issues there, but honestly when it comes down to it, he's pretty obedient. He has the sass levels of a litterate XBox gamer and the backbone of a snake. you tell him to do something in that stern dad voice and he'll cuss you out on the way to do it. Honestly, best boy. I love him lots. And guys, stop making his character so serious. You need to check yourself on his analysis cause honEE this boy cracks jokes 24/7, likes to poke fun at people and on multiple occasions tried to make superboy, the actually serious fluff roll, swear.

Number SeVeN, Last but certainly not least: Duke Heckin' Thomas.

Our local cinnimon roll™. Not only is he badass, but he's cute and lovable too. Duke is one of those teens that don't really care if it's this way or that. He's kinda on the quiet side unless you engage in conversation with him directly and I mean, come on. Just read any comic with him in it and I guarentee you will fall in love. Just- yEs. Even though he's the only one in his family with superpowers, he stays humbled and is kinda like everyones voice of reason. Seriously, he's so underrated and I love him with all my heart.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #32

(Idea from a good friend on instagram: Barbara :3)

Wayne Manor but Quarantine

Bruce: Realizes he'll be practically trapped in his house with all his crazy™ kids and he sighs internally, externally, eternally...

Selina: Goes on her "shopping sprees" because since everything is closed security is short-staffed. ;) but she's having a great time with it. She also makes this time to bond with all the kids cause she wants to be the best step-mom UwU

Dick: All his brothers bet on how long he'd last. He lasted a day. (Tim won the bet) He Becomes depressed after a week and has often been seen on the lounge couch in pajamas and a robe eating a tub of ice cream and watching mean girls. Constantly talking about wanting to go see Wally and being shot down. (It doesn't matter tho cause Wally comes to see him anyway)

Babs: Does not mind quarantine. Stays healthy and active. Get's REALLY into TikTok and Instagram. Starts like- 5 new hobbies: Yoga, makeup art, making TikTok memes (and forcing Dick to be in some of them) etc.

Jason: Doesn't care about the warnings. Leaves the house a lot. Goes to public places. Since everything is closed he chills on rooftops or sometimes even parks. Occasionally joined by Roy Harper. helps Alfred with a lot of meals cause we all know he's second best when it comes to cooking in the family.

Steph: Panic buys the entire stock of waffles and other snack items. Is really worried about the warnings at first but everyone comforted her so she'd calm down. (Jason fakes coughs every now and then around her for laughs) Most of the time chilling in her own room or in Tim's just snacking.

Tim: Is not effected by Quarantine. He was already a Hermit to begin with. Now he had an excuse to be inside all the time so he's doing great. Get's really into Animal Crossing on his switch and chills with Steph a lot if he's not staying up playing online with Bart and Kon. Steph already bought him the stock of coffee so he had no worries.

Dami: Takes Quarantine VERY seriously. His brothers tease him for caring but he responds with "I only care about my own health and the general public. We are heroes and need to set examples to protect our city." Or somthing along those lines. (he does actually care tho)

Duke: Tries not to let it get to him. He's maxin' chillaxin'. Spends his time pranking everyone else to get their spirits up. (we do not deserve this lovely boi) Starts a prank war and Nerf gun/water gun fight with everyone. Even Bruce joined.

Alfred: The actual GLUE to everyone not losing their minds. Enjoys teaching Babs cooking as a new hobby she picked up and loves chatting over making food with Jason. Get's to rest a lot more since at least one of the boys or Steph does spontanious chores just to do something and being all and all the best Butler/Grandfather ever. (as per usual)

Harper: HATES quarantine. She goes to the skate park a lot with a skateboard or rollar blades cause her hockey team is cancelled the entire season and she needs the release. Dyes her hair at least 5 times, all different colours.

Cass: Trains a lot. Reads a lot. Stays in the background of everything. Selina focuses on bonding with her mostly and they form a really lovely connection over the time spent together.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #25

Damian Wayne has often been depicted for his uncharacteristicly mature and strikingly violent behavior, but he 100% always participates in childish games like "tag" or "hide-and-seek" because, and I quote (His non-existant quote, this is a headcanon don't @ me) "I will not be bested by you imbiciles"

In the end he always has a good time with his brothers (because Dick is normally the one to drag him into it) and if anyone were to point out his smile, he would immediatly deny any and all accusations of having fun.

Inaccurate Batfam quotes #14

Batfam on a rollar coaster:

Dick: Screaming in joy

Jason: Screaming in fear

Tim: Bored af

Damian: Pouting but secretly enjoying it

Bruce: Sitting stiff, internally screaming

Alfred: Sipping tea somehow without spilling

Alfred, Packs him up in one night, old service pistol, and a shotgun, if Bruce can't kill without succumbing to the dark, Alfred will walk that dark road with his hands behind his back and a bowie knife in his teeth.

What would not just be the most satisfying to see, but what feels the most appropriate character-wise and thematically?

... not that DC would ever actually let him be killed permanently.

(Obviously there's lots of other characters who could kill him, but Harley, Jason, and Batman are the ones I see most commonly put forth as who "should".)

He says he's going to try shoot a former member of the SAS, I don't know if that's bravery or Stupidity, but what ever it is, that's going to work Alexander.

I love those Lex Luthor panels I reblogged yesterday because basically that whole conversation went like this:

Lex: you’re the Batman, and I’m going to prove it by shooting you

Bruce: that’s crazy, Lex. you’re crazy. I don’t even know how to throw a punch.

Lex: perhaps. but what if I shot your butler instead?

Bruce:

Lex:

Alfred:

Bruce:

Lex:

Bruce: have you ever been kicked so hard in the face, you saw the rebirth of Krypton?

If rrequests are still open I'd srsly love some Tim and Damii

sure 😊 🪁