A Painful Light

my desire has become a bloodsport.

a game of such violence

and such devotion,

i'm not sure which one

makes me more sick to look at.

is the hunt the worst part,

or is it the satisfaction

that comes from the

the thrill of the chase?

the relief that comes from

sinking your teeth

into something bloody

at the end of the finish line?

i don't even know how to

identify the things that i want

unless they're covered in blood

and begging to be left alone.

-mars

Systematic

Tell me that

You’ve never seen a system with a crack

That however improbable

And however small

Someone fell down

And wasn’t welcomed back up.

Because only so many times

Can the nail be hammered

Before the wood begins to warp

And only so long

Can the earthquake go on

Before the ground begins to fail.

System failure, system failure

Throw the dying ones a rope

But cut off their hands before you do

Or this systematic failure could be fixed.

Tell me how you’ve never seen

Someone fall and fall and fall

Down a hole so deep

It swallowed them up

Never to be noticed again.

Letters on a paper

Ruining lives

Laws for people

Who have never been seen.

System failure, system failure

The hammer keeps on hitting

So cut off their hands

And keep shaking their world

So the systematic failure can thrive.

so I overreacted yesterday but we're so back now guys

Nature

If I were to choose how I am

If I were on the outside how I am inside

I’d be something feral

I’d be something beautiful.

I’d be something unrecognisable

And I’d be something new.

I’d be sharp and I’d be deadly

I’d be a rose made only of thorns.

If I could be something natural

I would be something feral

I’d be something beautiful

I’d rip myself apart and build myself back up.

I’d be something painful 

I’d be something to be feared.

If I were a mirror of how I feel

I’d become something new

Something natural

Something feral

I’d be a river that nobody crosses.

I’d be dangerous and I’d be violent

I’d be myself and no one else.

Dogmoding at school rn 🐺

WOOF!

dear gods the world does NOT need a Cult of the Lamb x 40K crossover. Noooo thank you the lamb is already a menace without the chaos gods

combine your first real fandom with your current one to create a terrible, terrible au

Lil short story about my OCs!! I don't know what I'm doing <3

Uhhhh Hi! I don't think anyone will actually see this but I think I'll put my stories about my OCs in here. Maybe it'll give me motivation to work on their actual story-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DEATH

He couldn’t catch his breath. Again. Sitting upright on his bed in the dark, running shaking hands through his hair, Death vainly tried to steady his breathing. He closed his eyes- not that there was a difference. The inky black was there either way, letting his mind replay memories like a high-definition video, complete with sound. Such vivid colours, preserved like a fly in amber in his memories.

He opened his eyes and slid off the bed. Death’s not really sure why he tried to sleep. It never works. Or it does, and this happens. Honestly, he’s not sure which is worse.

It was worse tonight, though. He can’t steady himself. Breath. Focus on your breathing. He takes another deep breath, then another, his hand resting on the bedpost. It didn’t work. He didn’t really expect it to work.

Once he gets some light into the room, Death sits at his desk, looking at the book on it. The thought of sitting alone and trying to distract himself sounds… pretty terrible, right then. And he knew there was no way he could just go back to his work.

Death stands back up, suddenly needing to go somewhere. Do something. Just to take his mind off it. And for once in his life, he’d be the one getting Life up.

About halfway there, he gets the urge to just forget he was going to do this, to turn back around, but he shakes it off. Even if he got all the way there and turned around without actually talking to Life, it was better than just sitting there in his chambers.

At all hours, Life’s realm was so bright. Joyous. There was so much energy that it seemed to hum in the very air. Death was tempted to just stop, take it in like it was his first time there, but he didn’t. That wasn’t his nature, after all.

After Death reached the entrance to Life’s castle, he hesitated at the door. He practically never came by unannounced, and when he did he always had a clear purpose. Not like today. Honestly, even Death didn’t quite know what possessed him. Just… the desire to not be alone.

He realises his hand is hovering above the door like some nervous mortal, and so he brings it down three times. It’s fainter than he would have liked, but Life must have been close to the door, because it opens only a few heartbeats later. “Hey, Death! Is the sky falling in?” Life jokes, hand resting on the doorframe.

Death rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” He told Life. “I don’t never stop by.” Although he couldn’t tell if he was regretting it or not. Life made a lot of things a hell of a lot better, but Death wasn’t sure if he could help with this. It was just some nightmares. He shouldn’t have come.

“Will you walk with me?” Death asks before he can talk himself out of it. Damn it, he feels like a child. Uncertain and hesitant. Life doesn’t comment on it- if he even notices– and instead just steps outside next to Death. “Yeah, of course!” 

Even though Death asked for Life, Life takes the lead. He doesn’t mind- just having someone else there is helpful. Well, part of it is just that it’s Life. Life is always much more tethered than Death, even if he’s better at pretending it.

Life leads Death to a little forest clearing- they’ve come here a lot. It’s quiet for Life’s realm but noisy for Death’s. It’s soothing and vibrant, little flowers blooming around the boulders that litter the ground and leave indents in the grass when they move. Death rests his hand on one of the tree trunks, watching Life walk ahead of him and sit down on one of the boulders. He twists around and gives Death a smile, and damn it Death wants to see that every day for the rest of his existence.

He walks over to Life and sits next to him on the ground. Leaning back, Death can just barely see Life’s amused face watching him. Life doesn’t question it as Death tilts his head forwards again and just lets Death sit there.

He knows he has things to do, that he can’t sit there forever. But right then, in the sunlight, listening to the animals and Life, his back to the warm boulder, he’s as content as he gets. Death’s dreams and memories are pushed back out of his mind as he leans back again and gives Life a smile.

heres the thing, also. Even if things don’t get better, I’ve still got anywhere from 0-70 more years left on this earth. I would rather still fight to make those years liveable, comfortable, thriveable even. That alone is worth it. It isn’t all or nothing. It never has been.