My Desire Has Become A Bloodsport.

Nature

If I were to choose how I am

If I were on the outside how I am inside

I’d be something feral

I’d be something beautiful.

I’d be something unrecognisable

And I’d be something new.

I’d be sharp and I’d be deadly

I’d be a rose made only of thorns.

If I could be something natural

I would be something feral

I’d be something beautiful

I’d rip myself apart and build myself back up.

I’d be something painful 

I’d be something to be feared.

If I were a mirror of how I feel

I’d become something new

Something natural

Something feral

I’d be a river that nobody crosses.

I’d be dangerous and I’d be violent

I’d be myself and no one else.

ooooo, fun game to play? Am I Faking Having Headmates And It's All A Hallucination?? Extra hard mode activated: have had extra hallucinations and intrusive thoughts lately, so there's no way to tell!!

Envy

They got it, 

So why can't I?

How come they automatically get it?

And I have to work so hard for mine.

They just did that one thing,

And all that opportunity came their way,

What about me?

I sit here struggling.

Fighting for pennies,

Fighting to be heard,

Fighting for peace,

And alI I seem to get is brick walls and resistance.

I don't want to be them,

I don't actually like them,

I don't actually want their lives.

But I want the same opportunities,

I want those doors to open for me,

I want that ease that I witness in them.

I hate my life.

I openly reject it.

Victimising myself to anyone who will listen,

Playing the blame game to deflect my ownership,

Proudly accepting sympathy for my shortcomings,

I have dug this ugly, defensive hole that I sit in. 

But the truth is,

That we are all blessed in our own way,

We all have experiences in good & bad,

We all  have moments of right and wrong,

We all have ways of not seeing the positives over the negatives.

What is one's person ease,

Is the other persons hardship,

What one person's hard work,

Is another person's cup of tea,

What is your walk in the park,

Is another person's walk through the trenches.

We all have our own struggles,

We all have our own point of pain,

This is just mine,

And I'm sure you have yours,

We are not any better than each other,

We are all just humans having our own human experience.

Envy is a bitch.

A cruel deadly sin that lurks within,

Eating away at our love for each other, 

Creating barriers of the haves and have nots, 

Identifying where we hold lack inside.

But envy can also be a catalyst for change.

Creating inspiration,

Evoking aspiration,

Driving up our determination,

Making us want it more.

What is their victory,

Is also my possibilities,

If they can do it,

So can I.

They got it with such ease,

Imagine what I'll receive if I actually try?

I put my all into it,

Bending backwards,

Beg, borrow & steal,

Determined to claim what is mine.

I achieve my goal, 

I receive my glory,

I stand tall in my victory,

The evidence of all my hard work.

But soon that day will come,

Where others will see my success,

Oblivious to my journey,

Unaware of my set-backs,

Unconscious of my struggles.

Where is mine, they will say?

When do I get my chance?

How come they got it so easily?

And the truth is that,

What goes around comes around, 

The endless cycle of the human condition.

We notice the similar tone,

We witness the familiar themes,

We recognise the signs of envy.

Christianity and hate (Ice cold take guys)

YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU PROMOTE HATE.

YOU'RE NOT.

I don't care what verse you cite. I don't care what justification you give. Christianity is about LOVING OTHERS. THIS IS WHAT PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE LEAVE. If you look at someone and say they are lesser because of xyz, you're NOT CHRISTIAN.

People I know and that I see that have the audacity to go ahead and say you can't curse and then use the lord's name in vain because 'this is an abomination!' just make me SO MAD. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.

[Coloured text- YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU CLAIM JESUS PREACHES ANYTHING BUT ABSOLUTE LOVE. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN IF YOU GO TO CHURCH AND THEN TURN AROUND AND TELL SOMEONE THEY'RE GOING TO HELL. THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.]

fighting god's hardest fight right now- do not write whump do not write whump don'tdoityoucanresist

woah guys AO3 is open who did- who did that am I right

why is there a new fic opened!! Who did that!!

Sleep

Now I lay me down to sleep

But Gods, don’t keep my soul

For the broken thing has no more fight-

No hope remains with me.

So let me lay myself to sleep-

To shut my eyes and miss the dawn.

Let me rest here till I am missed

And then after, with the earth.

I’d much rather go to sleep

And not wake to see the sun

Than to stay awake and see me fail

Yet again, yet again, yet again.

Warm buttered bread for all :D

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals