Whenever Someone Either Says It Loud, Or Posts In A Comment Section: "You Can't Ship Them For X, Y, Or

I'll do you one better:

He's saying this stuff pre-peace era, every time he's fighting Izuna. Many other foes die by his hands swiftly, including other Uchiha, so he finds no need to induce idle chatter. But Izuna is different. They've faced off multiple times before, so Tobirama starts to just naturally converse with the other. Most of the times, it's just insults as Izuna curses Tobirama, his health, his family, his looks, his gods, and his love life.

Tobirama, on the other hand, is making simple observations out loud. But the way he does so is in the most unintentionally romantic ways possible.

He'll take a particularly aggressive hit from Izuna and comment that the Uchiha must have denser bones and muscles to keep up with the strain of their sharingan because Izuna is petite in stature but is strong enough to completely overwhelm most enemies. From an evolutionary standpoint: the Uchiha are beautiful and colorful, which in turn makes them all the more deadly when their enemies fail to realize how much of a force of nature they are.

At different times, he'll make various comments about the different forms of Uchiha swordsmanship, and compare it to dancing, calling it an art form.

Izuna will glare at him, sharingan activated, and Tobirama will note out loud that his sharingan has a similar color to precious rubies and that the sharingan must be the most objectively beautiful doujutsu in the world.

And finally, he'll at one point manage to cut some of Izuna's hair, knowing that Izuna takes great pride in his appearance, and has it woven into a necklace he wears on the battlefield to taunt the Uchiha.

Only:

From Izuna's standpoint, he's been unofficially-officially courting this Senju. The Uchiha are a warrior clan, and they value strength and beauty above all else when looking for a spouse.

Tobirama effortlessly becomes in tune with Izuna whenever they clash blades. They're fights genuinely do feel like violent dances. Tobirama calls him beautiful, and acknowledges his strength in the same breath. He appreciates Izuna's swordsmanship and calls it art. He tells Izuna that his sharingan (what some Uchiha believe to be the entire culmination of their souls) beautiful and declares it better than any other clan eye techniques. And finally, he manages to steal something of value to Izuna, proving his strength, and wears it to battle in a declaration of ownership.

Izuna is now helplessly smitten. It ends up saving his life, because at one point, their confrontation was getting too heated, but Izuna wasn't ready to go to the next stage of their relationship, so he ended up retreating. (The foreplay was too much for him to handle.)

new headcanon that tobirama says insanely romantic shit by complete accident.

tbrm : you know that ruby that the third princess of usushio owns and that is estimated to be one of the most beautiful items in the world?? mh. your eyes kinda look like that when you activate your sharingan 🤨🤨

izuna : ?????????????

WHY IS THE FANDOM SLEEPING ON ED X LING?! THEY ALREADY HAD THEIR VERSION OF THE MEET-CUTE; LING HAS PUT HIS LIFE IN DANGER TRYING TO SAVE ED; AND ED LITERALLY GROWS TO ACCEPT ALL OF LING (even if it's just as a friend), INCLUDING HIS DECISION TO HOST GREED. NOT TO MENTION, THEY ARE BOTH THE SAME AGE, UNLIKE ROYED.

#I'm sobbing #Edling only had 600 works on AO3 #while Royed has over 4k

Shin Soukoku sugar daddy au, but Akutagawa denies that he's a sugar daddy by trying to excuse it for increasingly flimsy reasons.

Akutagawa: Here. *Hands Atsushi the newest iPhone on the market, easily over $1300*

Akutagawa: This is so you have no excuse to text me back...for missions from Dazai-san.

Atsushi: Um, what?

Akutagawa: I'm also paying your phone bill and giving you unlimited data and the best coverage here in Japan so you have no excuse to not get my calls.

Atsushi:

Atsushi, talking to himself: Man, I wish I ate breakfast today.

Akutagawa: God, you're insufferable.

Akutagawa: And weak, if it bothers you this much. I have to do everything myself.

Atsushi: :/

*40 minutes later*

*Akutagawa comes back with food from a Michelin star restaurant he threatened employees into making despite company policy banning take out*

Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!

Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…

Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:

Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:

Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:

Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:

Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:

Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:

Steph who saw the same thing:

Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(

i want to make Percy Jackson, Defender of the Defenseless, more of a thing so here is a list of innocent people and things that Need Help who percy Defends and Takes Care Of

grover underwood, when he gets bullied and harrassed by literally everyone

the family in the arch

tyson, when he gets bullied and harrassed by literally everyone

raj mandali the calculus wiz

corey bailer the computer geek

and other kids who always got harassed by sloan and his gang

annabeth, when luke stabs her in the back and thalia is dead and grover is missing and chiron leaves camp and she’s completely alone

clarisse, when she fails her quest

rachel elizabeth dare, when she thinks she is going insane

ethan nakamura

nico di angelo

the twelve year old kid who charges at him on the princess andromeda

the kids in kronos’ army

thalia grace, when she comes back from the dead and everyone else is just standing there staring at her

mrs. o’leary

blackjack

the ophiotaurus

the animals in phorcys’ aquarium

reyna avila ramirez arellano, when she has no weapons and no co-praetor and she’s worried about her sister

frank zhang

hazel levesque

ella the harpy

the random animals that get trapped in things who he gets up in the middle of the night to go rescue

You ever become know for something that is so fucking buckwild that you have to take a second and rethink all of your life choices?

Cause I'm apparently the Danpo guy now.

This. This gives me life.

They aren’t allowed to drink together anymore

Me, every time AO3 is down:

Please I cannot keep going on like this. I need my daily fix of gay fanfiction. I hope they will be able to fix it soon. I cannot stand being alone with my own thoughts for so long 🤣

Tim Drake is the type of androgynous where if I were to see a picture of him in real life, and somebody told me he was trans, I would have no idea if he was trans masc, or trans fem. And I respect that deeply.

#I guess it depends on whether he's feeling more Alvin or Caroline.

Ling: the stars are beautiful tonight.

Winry: yeah.

Ling: do you know what else is beautiful?

Winry: Ed.

Ling, sighing: Ed.