Me, Every Time AO3 Is Down:

Arisu being over emotional and basically having enough feelings for both him and Chishiya and saying things like "we're very upset over this" fully crying while Chishiya just nods sagely, blank faced, by his side.

Tim Drake is the type of androgynous where if I were to see a picture of him in real life, and somebody told me he was trans, I would have no idea if he was trans masc, or trans fem. And I respect that deeply.

#I guess it depends on whether he's feeling more Alvin or Caroline.

Sofia: Mr. Cedric, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it?

Cedric: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

Tim showing up to Wayne Manor aged 13 wearing a t shirt saying "I'm not the step Robin I'm the Robin that stepped up"

Useless AU where Harry Potter, in his quest to understand Voldemort in order to hunt Horcruxes, does the Wizarding world equivalent of cyber stalking the man and now knows more about the Dark Lord than the Dark Lord knows about himself.

Bellatrix: I am his most loyal! His most trusted!

Harry: oh, yeah? How does he like to cut up his sandwiches?

Bellatrix:

Bellatrix: ...Triangles

Harry: TRICK QUESTION, BITCH! HE PREFERS DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGETS!

WHY IS THE FANDOM SLEEPING ON ED X LING?! THEY ALREADY HAD THEIR VERSION OF THE MEET-CUTE; LING HAS PUT HIS LIFE IN DANGER TRYING TO SAVE ED; AND ED LITERALLY GROWS TO ACCEPT ALL OF LING (even if it's just as a friend), INCLUDING HIS DECISION TO HOST GREED. NOT TO MENTION, THEY ARE BOTH THE SAME AGE, UNLIKE ROYED.

#I'm sobbing #Edling only had 600 works on AO3 #while Royed has over 4k

James: *sneaking in through their window* Lily: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night? James: I was with Regulus? Regulus: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Dick, wailing in dismay: When I asked you to get along, this isn't what I meant--

Jason, in the background recording: 👍👍

Cass and Steph have most definitely joined in. Barbara was going to stay out of it, but then Dick did something to piss her off. Alfred has dealt with this feral family for generations and couldn't care less as long as they maintain decorum. And Bruce is too busy chugging Expresso and hearing colors to pay attention to what is going on.

Okay, but hear me out:

Murder baby Damian, but for whatever reason, his first attempt at Tim's life is put on pause, so they never have that interaction. Instead, before Damian can come up with a new plan, Tim (who's kinda excited he now isn't the baby of the family) offers to train him in detective work for when Damian finally gets the mantle of 'Robin' as a way to bond with him.

"Why train your enemy, Drake?"

"We're brothers, not enemies. Besides, Robin has always been a mantle to pass down. I'm certainly not going to keep it in my twenties or thirties. And other than Bruce, I'm the best detective in the family."

"Very well, Drake, I shall accept your tutelage for the time being."

Damian accepts, of course. Not only can he study Drake for his weaknesses, he will also improve his own skill set. It's worth the wait for Robin. By the time Damian's done, there will be no doubt that he is the superior bat.

Unfortunately, he actually grows fond of Timothy. While he will inevitably get close with Richard, just like in canon, Timothy is a breath of fresh air for when Richard is being too overbearing, especially when it comes to things like 'socializing,' and 'making friends.'

When his father dies, and Timothy declared him actually lost to time, Richard doesn't believe him, can't believe him, because the hope is too painful. Timothy still gives Damian Robin, because, "I'm barely holding on as Batman as it is. I can't handle Robin being gone for potentially months at a time, halfway around the world."

During his partnership with Richard, truly becoming his brother-son, Richard introduces the ideas of pets to him. Damian loves animals, and having and taking care of a creature that could potentially survive on its own, but will have a much better quality of life under his care, speaks to him. He has Alfred and Titus and about half a dozen other stray animals that usually stay for about a week while he nurses them to health at any given moment, but he feels like he should officially have another pet.

Que the whole thing with his grandfather, and Timothy getting kicked out of the top of a skyscraper. He comes home with proof, and the Justice League brings his father home. And as Dick basically refuses to let anyone leave the mansion for the foreseeable future, Damian realizes several facts:

1.) Timothy is a human, and humans are animals.

2.) While Timothy has somehow survived until now, he wouldn't recognize self-care if it slapped him in the face.

3.) Timothy's quality of life will improve if someone is taking care of him because he cannot be trusted to do it for himself. (Is it a coincidence that he loses organs when he is away from the family? Damian thinks not.)

4.) Damian has gotten good at taking care of animals.

Ergo, Timothy is now Damian's pet. Tim doesn't know what to do and simply humors him. Besides, it's nice when someone actually bothers to give him a plate of foods that he likes when he gets hyper focused on work and forgets to eat. That, and while he is exasperated every time Damian tranqs him, those are still the best sleeps of his life.

Jason finds it hilarious. Damian doesn't understand Richard or his father's reactions.

"Damian, Tim can take care of himself."

"Barely. Father, now that I am in charge of his sleep schedule, there aren't as many dark circles under his eyes. Even Alfred has commented that Timothy consumes less caffeine."

"Damian, he can't be your pet."

"Why not?"

"Tim's your brother; he's family."

"So are you saying that Alfred and Titus aren't family?"

One of the saddest things about the Black brothers relationship never improving was the fact that we were robbed of this dynamic duo of brothers who were both morally grey and dramatic as fuck.

Remus, watching as Regulus frantically tries to shove a dead body into a suitcase before the Aurors got there: So.... What'cha got there, Pads?

Sirius: . . .

Remus: . . .

Sirius: A smoothie.

Sirius: *sips strawberry-banana smoothie loudly*

Sobbing, this is the cutest thing ever ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Days at the cafe