Useless AU Where Harry Potter, In His Quest To Understand Voldemort In Order To Hunt Horcruxes, Does

Top-quality romance

Okay, but hear me out:

Murder baby Damian, but for whatever reason, his first attempt at Tim's life is put on pause, so they never have that interaction. Instead, before Damian can come up with a new plan, Tim (who's kinda excited he now isn't the baby of the family) offers to train him in detective work for when Damian finally gets the mantle of 'Robin' as a way to bond with him.

"Why train your enemy, Drake?"

"We're brothers, not enemies. Besides, Robin has always been a mantle to pass down. I'm certainly not going to keep it in my twenties or thirties. And other than Bruce, I'm the best detective in the family."

"Very well, Drake, I shall accept your tutelage for the time being."

Damian accepts, of course. Not only can he study Drake for his weaknesses, he will also improve his own skill set. It's worth the wait for Robin. By the time Damian's done, there will be no doubt that he is the superior bat.

Unfortunately, he actually grows fond of Timothy. While he will inevitably get close with Richard, just like in canon, Timothy is a breath of fresh air for when Richard is being too overbearing, especially when it comes to things like 'socializing,' and 'making friends.'

When his father dies, and Timothy declared him actually lost to time, Richard doesn't believe him, can't believe him, because the hope is too painful. Timothy still gives Damian Robin, because, "I'm barely holding on as Batman as it is. I can't handle Robin being gone for potentially months at a time, halfway around the world."

During his partnership with Richard, truly becoming his brother-son, Richard introduces the ideas of pets to him. Damian loves animals, and having and taking care of a creature that could potentially survive on its own, but will have a much better quality of life under his care, speaks to him. He has Alfred and Titus and about half a dozen other stray animals that usually stay for about a week while he nurses them to health at any given moment, but he feels like he should officially have another pet.

Que the whole thing with his grandfather, and Timothy getting kicked out of the top of a skyscraper. He comes home with proof, and the Justice League brings his father home. And as Dick basically refuses to let anyone leave the mansion for the foreseeable future, Damian realizes several facts:

1.) Timothy is a human, and humans are animals.

2.) While Timothy has somehow survived until now, he wouldn't recognize self-care if it slapped him in the face.

3.) Timothy's quality of life will improve if someone is taking care of him because he cannot be trusted to do it for himself. (Is it a coincidence that he loses organs when he is away from the family? Damian thinks not.)

4.) Damian has gotten good at taking care of animals.

Ergo, Timothy is now Damian's pet. Tim doesn't know what to do and simply humors him. Besides, it's nice when someone actually bothers to give him a plate of foods that he likes when he gets hyper focused on work and forgets to eat. That, and while he is exasperated every time Damian tranqs him, those are still the best sleeps of his life.

Jason finds it hilarious. Damian doesn't understand Richard or his father's reactions.

"Damian, Tim can take care of himself."

"Barely. Father, now that I am in charge of his sleep schedule, there aren't as many dark circles under his eyes. Even Alfred has commented that Timothy consumes less caffeine."

"Damian, he can't be your pet."

"Why not?"

"Tim's your brother; he's family."

"So are you saying that Alfred and Titus aren't family?"

As much as I love Jily and Jegulus, I do not want Jegulily to just be about Lily and Regulus learning to be friends for the sake of their mutual boyfriend's happiness. It should be less about, "Aw, Reggie's kind of cute. I can see why James likes him," and more, "HOLY FUCK HOW DID I MANAGE TO BAG TWO PEOPLE?! AND THEY'RE BOTH HOT, SO YOU CAN SUCK IT, PETUNIA!"

Jily: the classic. We already know how they get together.

Regulily: It's his OWLs year and he ends up enlisting the help of Lily for studying because she's so smart. Basically nerds being cute together.

Jegulus: since James has obviously noticed Lily and Regulus hanging out together, he also gets to witness Regulus be a cute nerd (who, like Lily, could absolutely hand him his arse in a fight). Obviously James falls in love as well.

Just something that I think about at night, whenever I'm unsuccessful at finding jegulily edits on youtube.

All these 'Tim Drake-Centric batfamily fics' this and 'Tim Drake Joins The Batfamily Early' that, but no consistent amount of fics of Tim trading favors in the family in exchange for blackmail he acquired back when he took pictures of Batman and Robin? I call BS.

Aya chapter 107 moment

I've only started The Apothecary Diaries, but Maomao x Jinshi have me in a CHOKEHOLD!!!

Completely obsessed with this edit. It's what made me get off my butt and actually search for the translated web novel instead of just waiting for the manhwa to update.

"When the Third Wheel Strikes Back" PV :D

(Spoiler references to Chapters 300-640+)

You can also watch it here! youtu.be/QXKeqf1PUMo

Shin Soukoku sugar daddy au, but Akutagawa denies that he's a sugar daddy by trying to excuse it for increasingly flimsy reasons.

Akutagawa: Here. *Hands Atsushi the newest iPhone on the market, easily over $1300*

Akutagawa: This is so you have no excuse to text me back...for missions from Dazai-san.

Atsushi: Um, what?

Akutagawa: I'm also paying your phone bill and giving you unlimited data and the best coverage here in Japan so you have no excuse to not get my calls.

Atsushi:

Atsushi, talking to himself: Man, I wish I ate breakfast today.

Akutagawa: God, you're insufferable.

Akutagawa: And weak, if it bothers you this much. I have to do everything myself.

Atsushi: :/

*40 minutes later*

*Akutagawa comes back with food from a Michelin star restaurant he threatened employees into making despite company policy banning take out*

AU where Todoroki starts posting his conspiracy theories online and it ends up opening a public debate on whether All Might, Eraserhead or All for One is Izuku Midoriya's, a.k.a Hero Deku, real father. Somehow, after numerous "Dad Wars", the Dadmight, Dadzawa and Dad for One factions manage to get all three men, Izuku, as well as lawyer Inko Midoriya on the show You Are Not the Father. After much tension, emotions, and tears, to the point that the three men themselves have started believing that they might actually be the father, it is revealed that NONE OF THEM IS THE FATHER. That revelation starts a riot in the "Dads for Deku" community with more and more wild theories appearing as to WHO EXACTLY IS HERO DEKU'S REAL FATHER ?

Cue Hisashi Midoriya coming back from America for his long awaited vacation and 100% unaware of the shitshow that is awaiting him.

They never really talk about the way that Tim essentially parented Bruce for a while, but it's an open secret that Tim is the only other person besides Alfred who has a chance to make Bruce see reason when he's particularly stubborn. It doesn't really cross anyone's minds. They don't think too deeply in the matter. It doesn't come up much, anyways.

But then one day, Bruce messed up. Not as Batman, but Bruce Wayne, a father. Now everyone's in the batcave, watching Tim chew Bruce out.

Dick's screaming matches with Bruce is stuff of legend, and also normal, so most have figured out how to tune them out. But this isn't a screaming match. It isn't even a shouting match.

This is Tim tearing into Bruce with pinpoint accuracy: not saying anything untrue, which makes the words dig all the deeper.

Everyone thinks Bruce is going to snap back, but he sits there, cowed. And then, to everyone's (except Alfred's) shock and disbelief, Tim stares him down and says in an absolutely icy tone, "I'm disappointed in you, Bruce." And Bruce just wilts in his chair.

And then he actually apologizes.

Tim - a single dad who works two jobs.

More specifically: Tim, who helped his girlfriend (Steph) through her pregnancy at 15 and looked deeply into pregnancy and child rearing incase Steph wanted to keep the baby, before she decided to put them up for adoption.

Tim, who parented his child (Bruce) as a single parent at 13+

Tim, who is staring at the cloning chamber of his dead best friend(s), suddenly realising this may result in a baby- but jts OK. Because he's prepared.

Robin's are prepared for anything.

And Tim? Tim is fully prepped for a baby. It's ok.

Doesn't matter, in the end. The cloning fails, Kon and Bart return, he finds Bruce. But the idea sits, in the back of his mind... he could be a dad, if he wanted to.