You Ever Become Know For Something That Is So Fucking Buckwild That You Have To Take A Second And Rethink

Whenever someone either says it loud, or posts in a comment section: "You can't ship them for X, Y, or Z reason," it makes me want to laugh until I pass out from the lack of oxygen.

Ships are (usually) between fictional characters. Who gaf if if they don't interact much? If they genuinely hate each other? If one of them canonically isn't into the other's gender? If the only reason why they're shipped is because people think they look aesthetically pleasing next to one another? That's not going to stop fanfiction writers, and rule 63 exists for a reason.

It's okay if certain things aren't your cup of tea, but that doesn't mean a person gets to dictate what types of ships people like.

Okay, but hear me out:

Murder baby Damian, but for whatever reason, his first attempt at Tim's life is put on pause, so they never have that interaction. Instead, before Damian can come up with a new plan, Tim (who's kinda excited he now isn't the baby of the family) offers to train him in detective work for when Damian finally gets the mantle of 'Robin' as a way to bond with him.

"Why train your enemy, Drake?"

"We're brothers, not enemies. Besides, Robin has always been a mantle to pass down. I'm certainly not going to keep it in my twenties or thirties. And other than Bruce, I'm the best detective in the family."

"Very well, Drake, I shall accept your tutelage for the time being."

Damian accepts, of course. Not only can he study Drake for his weaknesses, he will also improve his own skill set. It's worth the wait for Robin. By the time Damian's done, there will be no doubt that he is the superior bat.

Unfortunately, he actually grows fond of Timothy. While he will inevitably get close with Richard, just like in canon, Timothy is a breath of fresh air for when Richard is being too overbearing, especially when it comes to things like 'socializing,' and 'making friends.'

When his father dies, and Timothy declared him actually lost to time, Richard doesn't believe him, can't believe him, because the hope is too painful. Timothy still gives Damian Robin, because, "I'm barely holding on as Batman as it is. I can't handle Robin being gone for potentially months at a time, halfway around the world."

During his partnership with Richard, truly becoming his brother-son, Richard introduces the ideas of pets to him. Damian loves animals, and having and taking care of a creature that could potentially survive on its own, but will have a much better quality of life under his care, speaks to him. He has Alfred and Titus and about half a dozen other stray animals that usually stay for about a week while he nurses them to health at any given moment, but he feels like he should officially have another pet.

Que the whole thing with his grandfather, and Timothy getting kicked out of the top of a skyscraper. He comes home with proof, and the Justice League brings his father home. And as Dick basically refuses to let anyone leave the mansion for the foreseeable future, Damian realizes several facts:

1.) Timothy is a human, and humans are animals.

2.) While Timothy has somehow survived until now, he wouldn't recognize self-care if it slapped him in the face.

3.) Timothy's quality of life will improve if someone is taking care of him because he cannot be trusted to do it for himself. (Is it a coincidence that he loses organs when he is away from the family? Damian thinks not.)

4.) Damian has gotten good at taking care of animals.

Ergo, Timothy is now Damian's pet. Tim doesn't know what to do and simply humors him. Besides, it's nice when someone actually bothers to give him a plate of foods that he likes when he gets hyper focused on work and forgets to eat. That, and while he is exasperated every time Damian tranqs him, those are still the best sleeps of his life.

Jason finds it hilarious. Damian doesn't understand Richard or his father's reactions.

"Damian, Tim can take care of himself."

"Barely. Father, now that I am in charge of his sleep schedule, there aren't as many dark circles under his eyes. Even Alfred has commented that Timothy consumes less caffeine."

"Damian, he can't be your pet."

"Why not?"

"Tim's your brother; he's family."

"So are you saying that Alfred and Titus aren't family?"

This. This gives me life.

They aren’t allowed to drink together anymore

don't raise your pitchforks at me but yoo joonghyuk is technically doksoo's love child if you think about it

If Dazai doesn't come out of this whole situation with Batman levels of obsessiveness over the few, good things left in his life then I will actually riot.

Typical role dustribution

One of the saddest things about the Black brothers relationship never improving was the fact that we were robbed of this dynamic duo of brothers who were both morally grey and dramatic as fuck.

Remus, watching as Regulus frantically tries to shove a dead body into a suitcase before the Aurors got there: So.... What'cha got there, Pads?

Sirius: . . .

Remus: . . .

Sirius: A smoothie.

Sirius: *sips strawberry-banana smoothie loudly*

All these 'Tim Drake-Centric batfamily fics' this and 'Tim Drake Joins The Batfamily Early' that, but no consistent amount of fics of Tim trading favors in the family in exchange for blackmail he acquired back when he took pictures of Batman and Robin? I call BS.

They never really talk about the way that Tim essentially parented Bruce for a while, but it's an open secret that Tim is the only other person besides Alfred who has a chance to make Bruce see reason when he's particularly stubborn. It doesn't really cross anyone's minds. They don't think too deeply in the matter. It doesn't come up much, anyways.

But then one day, Bruce messed up. Not as Batman, but Bruce Wayne, a father. Now everyone's in the batcave, watching Tim chew Bruce out.

Dick's screaming matches with Bruce is stuff of legend, and also normal, so most have figured out how to tune them out. But this isn't a screaming match. It isn't even a shouting match.

This is Tim tearing into Bruce with pinpoint accuracy: not saying anything untrue, which makes the words dig all the deeper.

Everyone thinks Bruce is going to snap back, but he sits there, cowed. And then, to everyone's (except Alfred's) shock and disbelief, Tim stares him down and says in an absolutely icy tone, "I'm disappointed in you, Bruce." And Bruce just wilts in his chair.

And then he actually apologizes.

Tim - a single dad who works two jobs.

More specifically: Tim, who helped his girlfriend (Steph) through her pregnancy at 15 and looked deeply into pregnancy and child rearing incase Steph wanted to keep the baby, before she decided to put them up for adoption.

Tim, who parented his child (Bruce) as a single parent at 13+

Tim, who is staring at the cloning chamber of his dead best friend(s), suddenly realising this may result in a baby- but jts OK. Because he's prepared.

Robin's are prepared for anything.

And Tim? Tim is fully prepped for a baby. It's ok.

Doesn't matter, in the end. The cloning fails, Kon and Bart return, he finds Bruce. But the idea sits, in the back of his mind... he could be a dad, if he wanted to.

fic where 18 yrs old dazai meets 14 yrs old atsushi (right after leaving the mafia ig) and w/o thinking takes him with him and they spend the two years on the run together (dazai becuz anytime he tries to abandon the orphan he picked up w/o thought oda flashes into his mind and ultimately he grows to care for him) (atsushi becuz the weird bandage guy pinkie promised he could ride on one of those trains he's seen in books)

anyway

dazai and atsushi dont look alike or have the same name so the ada picks up they arent related by blood real quick

anytime anyone asks how they met, they honestly answer "i/dazai kidnapped him/me" but everyone thinks its a joke

atsushi wins dazai over gradually, like small moments, small moments of kindness shown for dazai, small moments of seeing atsushi's real non-trauma made personality seeping through , he doesn't even realize it until it hits all at once how much he cares for atsushi

atsushi on the other hand was sold because dazai could make him laugh

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also sskk where atsushi takes his bf to meet his brother and akutagawa and dazai do the spiderman meme

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also dazai finds out atsushi's ability becuz at some point he comes to their hideout or whatever and a giant tiger is sitting there and before he can even panic it happily jumps at him and boom atsushi

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in this particular au, dazai lets atsushi doodle anywhere like dazai's bandages and his books becuz its better than having to actually engage with the child and eventually gets atsushi an actual sketchbook and the two spend their time drawing, atsushi's sketches get better dazai's get worse but atsushi sometimes thinks its becuz dazai's silly and scary sketches make him laugh

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there has to be a scene where someone asks atsushi what he's doing here, after dazai's joined the ada, and atsushi's like "im here w/ my brother" and looks at dazai, sees him poorly flirting w/ kunikida and irritating him and gets so much second hand embarrassment he points at ranpo instead

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atsushi knows dazai was in the mafia but he thinks double black was just dazai's cringy ship name for his ex boyfriend

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okay thats all i can think of now ill add more maybe