Lilquackhere - NOT PRO A Fat Anorexic

Ugh I gained since last Sunday 🥲

I’ve been binging the past couple of days cause I’ve been feeling so lonely and the scale shows it. I literally just want to kms right now. I hit a LW of 71.80kg but yeah that didn’t last, did it.

✨insert panic attack✨

Dying really sounds like an option.

Was feeling really hungry today to I waited for dinner and had some squid + veggies with long grain rice (picked most of it off) + beetroot (max of 400 cals)

Also had some fruit salad which was max of (150 cals)

So I’m total I had 550 cals

Not a good day today not a good day at all!

And to top that off I relapsed on self harm after being 3 weeks clean

#45 - how

waking up to stars on the ceiling and bruises on pale skin and battered feet on & off the scale and almonds in ziploc baggies and bite marks on fingers and hair down the drain and measuring crunches by the spots left on the spine and enough water to drown organs and eating an apple with a knife and fork and battered feet on & off the scale and desperate hands clutching ribs and standing up & the world goes dark and carrying an emergency rice cake in your purse for weak spells and enough green tea to drown organs and how many calories are in toothpaste and whatever nail polish color covers yellow and battered feet on & off the scale and is today the day my heart gives out and how many calories do you burn when you sneeze and pillows squeezed between thighs and waking up in a new body everyday and fingers clasped around wrists and notebooks filled with numbers and purple crescents below the eyes and accidentally knocking your elbow on your hip bone and being afraid of your own reflection and i’m not hungry or i already ate or i’ll eat later or i don’t feel well and oxygen that tastes like splenda and battered feet on & off the scale

Ed meme dump

I’m at a plateau still 🥲

I’ve literally been at this weight for a month and I am crying.

I am going to try high cal restriction for a week instead of just a few day. Around 1200 - 1500 cal (5028kj - 6285kj)

I’m hoping this will boost my metabolism and get out of this weight cause I was going amazing and losing a 1kg a week and now I’m, well, here in a plateau.

Any other tips are greatly appreciated 😊

Reblog if you’d happily trade your t*ts for a thigh gap.

✨ reblog if ✨

You have an eating disorder but it doesn’t look like you do.