The Rebellion Is Me.
The rebellion is me.
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Birds flying out of there nests, the sun unwrapping itself for the day some geniuses are being born and some are breathing there last. In the same chaos the fearful are sneaking into the world as if they can do a thing or two in it. Others fearfully in defeat escape it, they have lived it all not as they wanted but as fear mapped it out for them.
I am losing my religion Only to find God.
i am losing the preacher man's address only to find the scripture's directions.
i am losing all hope only to find my life beautifully wovened from the start to end by God.
Losing and gaining, losing and gaining.
God, the divine architect of justice and fairness.
Together, I am isolated. Alone, I bloom.
3:19 AM What’s around me is sleep. What’s within me are thoughts dancing on songs I hate to hear.
3:20 AM now And I’m done with this prose— or to put it right, I’m done with this observation.
Now move, mate !, what has happened has happened to a twillion of them then and it will happen to a zillion of them in time to come.
This is the 11th day of
waiting.
seated in the same spot
grindling my hands
to type
and
what gets out is
ddddhhhhdhdjdhdhddhkjsdhjdsh.
Whatever part of the
brain that platitudinized me to write
is dead now.
It made me fall in love,
and now—kaput—it's gone.
Uuuuh what a devoid day !
I am dissolving
into a desolate form.
To just do it,
even when the thoughts
form a barricade.
Me & You.
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And I felt it— the weight that kept me in bed, a heavy stone on my back.
My mom had paid hefty fees for private school, but even that couldn’t make me smile— or, to say it right, help me understand myself.
Worse, my dad loved me, but even with what others yearned for, I was no happier than them.
So, in my bed, I realized— I had to find myself, to accept myself, to love myself first, before the other loves could truly reach me.
And maybe then, I could pursue the happiness I wanted. As hard as it might be, the stars had assured me— it was a hopeful gamble, maybe.
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