“So, I Love You Because The Entire Universe Conspired To Help Me Find You.”

“You’re basically seeing all of the sunrises and sunsets across the world, at once, being reflected off the surface of the moon” – NASA

I always feel at peace, when I can bask in the light of the moon.

I bare myself under the light of the moon.

Vulnerable, open, I give you my all.

So sexy to bind your hands, having you submit, slowly having my way.

Moon.....

I had no idea of thirst until I met you.

The true longing of just your taste.

I grasp a fraction of your scent, I feel my skin flushing, crimson spreading.

Heart beating so hard, I feel It will inevitably break through my ribs.

How can my mind have so many thoughts, flying so dangerously fast, yet with razor precision my focus is on you.

I ache.

I lay erect, lost in worlds sleep and wake.

No matter my status, I see you, want you.

Oh do I want.....

I gave you the key, you need to unlock it.

The deep painful introspective looks in the mirror at myself, have the same weight as someone's judgmental take on me, as they pass by with their first impressions as they judge either how I look, or how they chose to see me.

Either way it's as soothing to my soul as standing in one spot, barefoot on hot blacktop as the sun beats down upon it.

Maybe I never get to put away the knife, or better yet forget where I laid it. I'd settle for wiping it off on my sleeve and putting it in its sheath.

The untrusting darkness in me, combined with the auras that decide to pass by instead create the need to clench it so hard in my hand my knuckles turn white.

Fractured thoughts converge, tinting my field of vision around me.

It's not fear, but weariness.

I rather would choose the darkness or at least the shadows than to be laid bare in the unforgiving sun.

To bathe in the moonlight is to heal, to weather my skin to handle the torment of my waiting demons.

I see the silence in their touch, I hear the cold embrace against my skin.

At least their companionship is steady, the cuts, bruises, the crimson trail of thoughts they plant is expected.

I don't embrace them, but I've learned to depend on them for at least a normalicy in my life.

Without my anxiety, my demons that remind me in my sleep not to ware dream of a fairy tale life, I'd be tempted to trust those around me.

Instead I live looking for patterns... What do they want?what do they seek from me? What can I do for them?

Once they take a look at my face, or my intense soul the majority show themselves as weak, selective, callus in how they change, turn, ignore, block, or disappear.

Trust....

What the fuck is that anyway?

Unconditional acceptance... Yeah ok.. Now that's a beautiful fantasy.

I would rather be labeled too intense, or untrusting, I would rather always hold my knife and count on one hand those that may actually give a fuck about me, then to live like the lemmings that think popularity in numbers is love, or that kind words aren't laced with dark intentions.